When the person who harmed you is someone you love and trust, the idea of disclosure can feel like standing at the edge of a chasm—impossible to cross. What will happen if I don’t let my voice be heard? And what will happen when I do? Sometimes, nothing happens. And that silence says everything about our culture. Other times, disclosure is like an earthquake. It shatters the foundation of your life. Relationships break apart under the weight of disbelief, mistrust, confusion, anger, and grief. And at the heart of it all is the survivor, trying to make sense of everything. Aftershocks and Blame Survivors often feel like they’re the cause of the fallout—as if they’ve ruined something by speaking up. They haven’t. They’re not the cause. They are survivors, managing the aftershock of something that was never their fault. When people respond to disclosure in ways that are re-traumatizing, it can be tempting to silence ourselves again, or feel regretful for speaking up. They begin to wonder if it was worth it. Other responses can be mixed messaging by the receiver: they can say they believe you, but act like they don’t. Or, they believe you but expect you to move on quickly; or they believe you and then never talk about it again. Leaving the individual suspended in tentative safety. And Tentative safety is NOT safety. The Reality of Disclosure When survivors stay silent, the pain often doesn’t disappear, but burrows deeper into the body. Telling your story can be liberating. For some, it’s the first concrete step toward healing. However disclosure doesn’t always bring instant relief. Sometimes the expectation is that speaking up will make everything feel better. In truth, it can feel more like looking at a wound: You assess, then take the steps you need to heal it. But it still hurts, it’s still unpleasant to examine, and it needs time. Making Sense of Loss Like resetting a broken bone—an intentional kind of hurt, scary, unavoidable, and necessary—so too is the healing journey after disclosure. Some relationships, especially those that have become emotionally necrotic, may need to be realigned or, in some cases, removed altogether. This might mean letting go of long-time friends or even family members. Even harmful connections were still connections. And loss—even when it keeps us safe—still hurts. Recovery from that kind of loss is like emotional physical therapy: uncomfortable, frustrating, and slow. But without it, we don’t regain our strength. The Crash After Speaking There can be an immense emotional crash after disclosure.Exhaustion sets in, not just from telling the story, but from everything it disrupts. Disclosure can force people to confront things they’d rather keep buried: their own complicity, their own guilt, their own understanding of who they are in relation to you. And in that space, the survivor can feel more alone than ever—vulnerable, changed, and aching for support in a world laid on shifting sands. There is likely uncertainty around what comes next. A question of how to continue the healing journey. New feelings may emerge: relief, grief, anger, and what-ifs. Another aftershock. Whether You’ve Disclosed…Or Not. No matter what your circumstance regarding disclosure, please remember: You are not responsible for other people’s inability to face the truth.You are not too much.You are not alone.You spoke because you were brave.And that bravery deserves care—not punishment.
Understanding Shame: Carrying What Was Never Yours to Hold
What is Shame, and Why Do We Feel It? Shame feels like an awful emotion, but it does serve a purpose. Shame signals that we may have violated the unspoken code of the group we belong to—and that we’re at risk of being rejected or excluded. Guilt stems from acting in a way that goes against your values and morals. Simply put, shame is the feeling, “I am bad” and guilt is the feeling, “I did something bad”. While shame can teach us about boundaries and social expectations, it becomes devastating when we feel it, listen to it, and believe it—even when we have done nothing wrong. Shame can become an overpowering voice in our minds. As Brené Brown writes in IThought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t): “We cannot change and grow when we are in shame, and we can’t use shame to change ourselves or others.” https://brenebrown.com/book/i-thought-it-was-just-me/ How Shame Manifests in CSA Survivors Survivors of childhood sexual abuse often carry deep shame and guilt—emotions that were never theirs to hold. But why do they? Many survivors internalize thoughts like, If I had acted differently, I could have stopped it, or If I hadn’t done that, it wouldn’t have happened. Either way, the blame gets turned inward. The survivor feels responsible for the harm done to them. This is the voice of shame. And shame isolates. Over time, it distorts memory and confidence: Maybe I misremembered and maybe it wasn’t that bad. Survivors may also experience guilt, not just about the abuse, but about the idea of disclosing it:I don’t want to bother anyone by sharing my experience. I don’t want to hurt my family or ruin relationships if I say something. These thoughts are all shaped by guilt and shame, but these do not belong to the survivor. They never did. The Harm of Comparing Pain To understand how shame is reinforced by the culture around us, we can look to writer and educator Clementine Morrigan, who shares: “Culturally we dismiss sexual comments to and about children as ‘inappropriate’—but certainly the adult wouldn’t really do anything. Accusing someone of being a pedophile or an incester is such a serious accusation that we play it ‘safe’ and wait to say anything until it seems the line will really be crossed.” When we create the kind of “line” Clementine discusses—a threshold that must be crossed before we take harm seriously—we also create a harmful hierarchy of trauma: the worst, the not-as-bad, the barely worth mentioning. This framing minimizes space for survivors to come forward. It plants thoughts like: Other people have it worse or what happened to me isn’t bad enough to talk about. This comparison culture silences voices. It breeds shame, self-doubt, and uncertainty, and it leaves survivors feeling that their pain doesn’t qualify for attention, support, or healing. Culture’s Role in Silencing and Minimizing This silence doesn’t emerge by accident, it’s shaped by social norms and behaviours that minimize harm. Clementine continues, “What I am saying is that once any sexual behaviour has been enacted toward a child, the line is already crossed.” We cannot continue living under the illusion that sexual abuse doesn’t happen. No one wants to believe someone they know is capable of such harm—but turning a blind eye is just as dangerous. In an effort to stay comfortable, we often ignore behaviours that signal something more troubling. We hesitate to say things like, “If my child doesn’t want a hug, she doesn’t have to give one.” Instead, we prioritize politeness—our own social ease—over the safety and autonomy of children. When we do this, we teach children that their bodies are not truly their own. We condition them to ignore their discomfort in favour of pleasing others. And that is not just dangerous—it’s a betrayal. What Children Know, and What We Ignore Clementine writes: “Children are not stupid. They understand danger. They receive messages from their bodies telling them that something is wrong and they have to find a way to make sense of and respond to these messages. Fight, flight, fawn, freeze, submit. These embodied survival responses take place in a context of pervasive denial, silence, punishment, and shame.” Culturally, we must be held accountable for creating a world where children feel unsafe, where their voices are ignored—and then allowing them to grow into adults who still feel unsafe, and unheard. Shame and guilt are not burdens survivors of childhood sexual abuse should ever have to carry. These emotions belong to the adults who failed them. The shame lies not with the survivor, but with a culture that chose comfort over courage, denial over truth. “The child must go to extremely creative lengths (usually involving some splitting of the personality) in order to survive these insane conditions.” — Clementine Morrigan We live in a culture of childism—the belief that adults always know best. We assume children are unintelligent, incapable of understanding, or exaggerating. But as Morrigan makes clear, children are not dumb. They know how to survive. When children are taught to be silent and compliant, they grow into adults who carry those same burdens. They’ve been trained to shut up, do as they’re told, and believe that speaking up will only bring punishment. When we ignore the voices of children, we continue the narrative that they don’t matter—that their experiences and pain are theirs to carry alone. Shame on us. A Message to Survivors While it may be hard to accept right now—and it may take time—know this: you did not do anything wrong. You did the best you could with what you had. You didn’t fail. You were let down by others. And still, you survived. When you are ready, let your inner light shine so brightly that it burns through the cocoon of shame, and emerge in your full strength.
Healing With Expressive Art Therapy Part 2
If you’ve made it this far, here’s your gift—a second arts therapy activity to explore and enjoy! Let’s dive right in and remember to be kind and compassionate with yourself as you move through this process. There’s no right or wrong outcome—only your unique expression When a strong emotion comes up, this might be a creative practice for you to process that emotion. You need 2 sheets of paper and your preferred coloring supply. Sit down comfortably and bring awareness to where you are in the present moment. You may want to take a few breaths bringing awareness to your body and noticing where you are feeling activated, and notice the sensations: what quality do they have? Are they at the surface or deep inside? Is it still or moving? Is it young, old, or ancient? Trust your instincts as you express what you feel in your body, onto the paper. If those sensations could speak, what would they say? Once you have documented all that you can notice. Take a look at what is on your paper. Is there anything you need to add? When it feels complete – ask yourself, “Am I willing for this to change in a beneficial/supportive way?” If the answer is no, thank your body for the information and check in again sometime later. If the answer is yes, you can return to a comfortable sitting position, close your eyes or have a soft gaze. Start to tune into your body with your willingness for things to change and observe, like a movie, the changes you notice. Look for changes in temperature, sensation, and movement and start to express visually, using your coloring material, what you notice. Follow the same prompts as above in how you pay attention to what is happening internally. You may notice you use different colors, shapes, and textures. When the 2nd drawing feels complete, take a few moments to reflect on it: Look at it from different angles; compare it to your first piece of paper and see what looks and feels different. Notice how differently you may feel in your body. If you wish, you can discard the first piece of paper and post the 2nd piece of paper where you will see it often. You can repeat this process as many times as needed and track the changes you feel with each version in a journal. Your body will continue to make changes as you go about your day, and as you sleep. Your willingness is the key to unlocking this process. If this was your first foray into expressive art therapy, I hope the experience was illuminating and even joyful, and that you feel inspired to return to the practice again. If you’d like additional support in your art therapy journey, you’re always welcome to register for Individual or Group Art Therapy with us at The Gatehouse.
Prevalence of Child Sexual Abuse in Canada
The prevalence of Child Sexual Abuse (CSA) is a significant social issue that has long-lasting psychological, emotional, and physical consequences for survivors. Despite increased awareness and legal measures, CSA remains a pervasive problem worldwide, including in Canada. Prevalence and Impact Studies indicate that CSA affects a substantial number of children, with many cases going unreported due to fear, shame, or manipulation by perpetrators. Survivors often experience trauma-related conditions such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, anxiety, and difficulties in forming healthy relationships. Early intervention and support are crucial in helping survivors recover and rebuild their lives. According to recent data, “The New Brunswick rates of sexual assault in children aged 12 to 17 have fluctuated since 2020, but in 2023 it was one of the highest in Canada — at 520 per 100,000. That’s compared to the national rate of about 383 per 100,000” (Awde, 2025). This alarming statistic highlights the urgent need for continued efforts to prevent CSA and support survivors effectively. The largest proportion of persons accused of online child sexual exploitation and abuse (regardless of whether a victim was identified) was in Quebec (39%), followed by Ontario (32%) (Ibrahim, 2022). This data sheds light on regional trends within Canada, underscoring the need for targeted prevention and intervention efforts in these areas. Legal Protections in Canada Canada has implemented various legal frameworks to protect children from sexual abuse. The Criminal Code of Canada outlines strict penalties for offenses related to child exploitation, grooming, and assault. Additionally, mandatory reporting laws require professionals such as teachers and healthcare workers to report suspected abuse. Erin’s Law in Ontario A significant recent development in Ontario is the passing of Erin’s Law (Child Sexual Abuse Prevention and Reporting), 2024, which amends the Education Act to ensure CSA prevention education in schools. The law mandates: The law also grants the Minister authority to regulate how CSA education is delivered and how information is provided to students, parents, and staff. Erin’s Law is set to take effect on September 1, 2024, marking a crucial step in strengthening CSA prevention efforts in Ontario schools (Jess, n.d.). Challenges and Advocacy Despite these protections, challenges remain in effectively preventing CSA. Many survivors face barriers in seeking justice due to stigma, fear of not being believed, or lengthy legal processes. Advocacy groups continue to push for stronger laws, better support services, and increased public education to address CSA more effectively. Organizations working in this field emphasize the importance of creating safe environments where children feel empowered to speak out against abuse. Addressing CSA requires a multi-faceted approach involving legal measures, education, and survivor-centered support systems. The implementation of Erin’s Law is a step in the right direction, but continued advocacy is essential to ensure comprehensive protections for children across Canada. By raising awareness and advocating for stronger protections, society can work towards reducing the prevalence of CSA and ensuring that survivors receive the justice and care they deserve.
Dancing As a Form of Healing
“If you can’t say it, you sing it, and if you can’t sing it, you dance it.” -Anonymous In an article posted on the website The Mighty, Monika Sudakov talks about how dance helped her work through her own childhood sexual abuse concluding that, “I encourage anyone, with a trauma history or otherwise, to engage in some kind of dance-like movement to music.” Dance as Freedom It is becoming widely recognized that trauma can be held in the body. Movement helps us tune into where it might be held and supports us in releasing it. For survivors of CSA, freeing the body from what it carries is an essential step toward both emotional and physical healing. Dance can be a powerful way to facilitate this release. Sudakov writes about three key impacts of dance on trauma. First, it promotes the release of feel-good hormones. She states, “Factor in the element of music in dance and you have a powerful one-two punch of reducing stress hormones like cortisol and engaging parts of the brain associated with emotional regulation.” Second, dance engages bilateral stimulation, a principle central to EMDR therapy. She explains: The fundamental tenet of EMDR, bilateral stimulation, enables one to engage both hemispheres of the brain simultaneously, allowing connections to be made that can effectively process memories that may have gotten stuck. Body movement where alternating sides of the body are worked in sequence is one of these. Therefore, dance engaging repetition from one side of the body to another can effectuate a similar result. (Sudakov, 2024) Third, dance supports the vagus nerve function, which is often disrupted by trauma. Sudakov notes: It is well known that trauma can disrupt vagus nerve function, causing dysregulation of everything from digestion to mood. Two of the best ways to stimulate positive vagal functioning are through exercise and deep, slow breathing, both of which are integral aspects to dance.(Sudakov, 2024). Ecstatic Dance If dance sounds intriguing, one such form of dance is called ecstatic dance, a form of moving meditation where you allow yourself to dance to the energy of music like a hill that you slowly climb, reaching a peak, and then descend. You can look for local ecstatic communities, such as Ecstatic Dance Toronto. If there aren’t any local communities near you, the wonderful news is you can do this in your own home with your own curated playlist. Give it a try and express your feelings from the day or week! While ecstatic dance allows for free-form movement and emotional expression, some people may prefer a more structured approach to movement as a healing practice. One such method is 5 Movement Dance, which follows a ‘wave’ or pattern of music, suggestive of 5 moods or rhythms: flowing, staccato, chaos, lyrical and stillness. Unlike ecstatic dance, not only does the facilitator play the music, they also interact with the dancers, encouraging and reminded participants to breathe and bring attention to their emotions and bodily sensations. If this sounds interesting but also a bit overwhelming, remember that dance is about self-expression. There is no wrong way to connect with music and movement. In these spaces, everyone is free from judgment, encouraged to listen to their body, heart, and soul. Sudakov, M., So You Think You Can Dance to Process Trauma, The Mighty, July 17th 2024. Is Ecstatic Dance and 5 Rhythms the Same Thing, Flo Motion, March 17th 2023.
Healing Through Creativity: Art, Writing & Music for CSA Survivors
For survivors of childhood sexual abuse (CSA), the path to healing is both deeply personal and courageous. Creative expression—through art, writing, and music—can offer a vital, non-verbal language for processing trauma, reclaiming power, and finding moments of solace. While the journey is unique for everyone, engaging in creative practices can provide a safe space to explore and articulate feelings that are often too complex for words alone. Art as a Tool for Emotional Processing Art provides a medium where emotions too deep for conversation can be visually expressed. For many CSA survivors, painting, drawing, or sculpting can transform internal pain into tangible forms that capture both sorrow and strength. This creative process helps externalize emotions, enabling survivors to gradually face and understand their experiences in a controlled, personal space. Sometimes, the hardest feelings can’t be easily put into words. Visual art allows these feelings to be communicated in a way that feels safe and personal. Furthermore, engaging with art often induces a meditative state. This mindful process can create moments of calm and reflection, helping to alleviate the overwhelming intensity of trauma. Writing to Reframe and Reclaim Your Story Writing offers a structured way to explore and reframe personal experiences. Through journaling, poetry, or storytelling, survivors can give voice to their feelings and reshape their narratives. This act of writing not only serves as a cathartic release but also empowers survivors to see themselves beyond their trauma. Writing allows for the honest exploration of thoughts and memories in a private space, offering a release valve for pent-up emotions. When survivors use language to express their experience survivors can gradually reframe their past, transforming pain into a story of resilience and strength. If a survivor ever feels like sharing their personal writing, whether in a support group or creative workshop, this act can foster a sense of belonging and remind survivors that they are not alone in their journey. Music’s Unique Role in Emotional Healing Music possesses a unique power to soothe the mind and heart. For CSA survivors, both listening to and creating music can be profoundly therapeutic. Music’s ability to evoke emotions and memories makes it a potent tool for processing trauma and reclaiming emotional balance. A melody or rhythm can reflect and modulate the inner emotional landscape, offering moments of comfort and connection. Whether it’s learning an instrument, singing, or composing, actively making music can be an empowering act, one that reclaims control over one’s narrative. Participating in musical groups or community choirs creates opportunities for shared experiences, reinforcing the message that healing is not a solitary journey. The journey to healing for CSA survivors is not linear. Creative expression is not about producing perfect art, flawless prose, or harmonious music, it’s about the courage to explore one’s inner world and find personal meaning in the process. Every brushstroke, every written word, and every note played is a step toward reclaiming your narrative and reinforcing your strength. Working in a creative medium teaches us the importance of being gentle with ourselves. Just as learning the medium takes time, so too does healing. Every small step is a victory. Creativity as a Step Toward Resilience For CSA survivors, creative expression offers a pathway to healing that honors the complexity of personal trauma while opening doors to resilience and renewal. All mediums of art provide control over how survivors engage with their own experiences, how they choose to share their story. Through art, writing, and music, survivors can find a voice beyond the silence of their past—a voice that speaks of hope, strength, and the transformative power of creativity. Embrace your creative journey as a step toward healing and remember that every expression of your inner self is a celebration of your strength and survival. Artistic endeavour is a declaration that your story matters and that you have the power to shape your present and your future. For more information about our Expressive Arts Therapy Group Programs visit https://thegatehouse.org/programs-and-services/supplemental/expressive-arts-therapy
Breaking the Silence: Challenges Men Face in Speaking Out about CSA
Childhood sexual abuse (CSA) is a profoundly traumatic experience that leaves lasting impacts on survivors, regardless of gender. However, societal attitudes, stigmas, and misconceptions uniquely affect men who have experienced this form of trauma, often making it exceptionally difficult for them to come forward and seek help. Understanding these difficulties is essential to creating an environment where healing can truly begin. One of the greatest barriers men face when disclosing CSA is societal expectations rooted in gender norms. Men are often socialized to be strong, self-reliant, and emotionally resilient. From a young age, many boys learn that expressing vulnerability or admitting victimization is synonymous with weakness. This societal pressure contributes to a deep sense of shame and self-blame, discouraging men from speaking openly about their abuse. The stigma surrounding male victimization is prevalent and harmful in many ways. Society often holds stereotypical beliefs that men cannot be victims or that they must have somehow been complicit in their abuse. These harmful myths perpetuate feelings of isolation and self-doubt among male survivors, making them fear judgment, disbelief, or ridicule if they reveal their past experiences. Historically, support systems and resources for CSA survivors have been predominantly designed with female survivors in mind. While this attention is necessary and justified, it inadvertently leaves male survivors with fewer accessible services tailored to their specific needs. The lack of visible representation and acknowledgment can make men feel invisible or invalidated, further discouraging them from seeking help. Men who experience CSA often grapple with fears about how they will be perceived. Often, when men are coming forward to seek support at The Gatehouse, concerns about sexuality, masculinity, and identity frequently arise, creating internal conflicts and confusion. Many survivors worry that disclosure might lead others to question their sexual orientation or masculinity, leading to additional layers of anxiety and reluctance to speak out. Due to cultural conditioning, many men struggle to articulate emotions effectively. Childhood sexual abuse survivors often experience complex emotions like anger, guilt, and sadness. However, expressing these feelings can be challenging for men who have been discouraged from emotional openness. The lack of emotional vocabulary or fear of being overwhelmed by these feelings prevents many from engaging in therapeutic conversations essential for healing. Recognizing these barriers is the first step in fostering a supportive environment for male survivors of CSA. Encouraging open dialogue, raising public awareness, and developing male-specific support programs can significantly impact survivors’ willingness to seek help. It is essential to reinforce that vulnerability and strength are not mutually exclusive, and seeking help is a courageous act deserving of respect and empathy. The Gatehouse provides peer support groups for men, women, and all gender identities. Breaking the silence surrounding male childhood sexual abuse requires collective effort. By challenging harmful stereotypes, improving accessibility to resources, and promoting compassion and understanding, society can create safe spaces for male survivors to share their experiences and begin their healing journey. Every voice deserves to be heard, and every survivor deserves support, regardless of gender.
Community and Connection: Healing Together
For survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse (CSA), community and connection can be transformative. Healing is not a journey meant to be taken alone—it thrives in the presence of understanding, support, and shared experiences. Whether through peer support groups, creative collaborations, or simple acts of kindness, the collective strength of a community creates a ripple effect of healing and hope. One of the most profound aspects of healing in a supportive environment is the ability to share your story and be truly heard and believed. Storytelling is more than just words, it is a bridge to connection, a lifeline that reassures others they are not alone. When one person finds the courage to share their truth, it opens the door for others to do the same, fostering a space where healing can flourish. Healing within a Community Healing within a community fosters a deep sense of belonging. When individuals come together with a shared purpose—whether to heal from past wounds, navigate grief, or rebuild after hardship—they find strength in each other. There is comfort in knowing that others have walked a similar path and emerged stronger. Society often tells us that true strength lies in succeeding alone, reinforcing a capitalistic myth of self-reliance. While individualism has its value, this belief can prevent us from seeking the support we need. Support is what leads to success, both big and small. As the Japanese proverb reminds us, “A single arrow can easily be broken, but not ten in a bundle.” When we struggle, we must remember that community doesn’t just support us—it helps guide us back to ourselves. Creativity Builds Connections Beyond verbal storytelling, creativity can be a powerful way to build connections and process emotions. Art, music, writing, and movement allow individuals to express themselves in ways words sometimes cannot. Furthermore, creative movements like Dance and Yoga allow individuals to re-connect with the body in ways that more traditional therapy might now allow. Community art projects, open mic nights, and collaborative writing groups provide safe spaces for healing through self-expression. If we want to start small, as big change starts with small acts, the simple act of sharing a poem or a piece of visual art online can embolden us. Each small intentional act builds community. No matter where you find your community, the key is connection. Healing is not meant to be a solitary experience. When we walk alongside others, we remind ourselves that we are not alone. Together, we may bend, but we will not break. If you are a poet or a visual artist, check out The Global Poetry Movement, and submit your work at https://globalpoetrymovement.com/
The Role of Community in Recovery
As survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse (CSA), recovery is a deeply personal journey, but one of the most powerful forces that can help someone on that journey is the support of a community. The sense of belonging and the shared experiences within a community can provide the strength, hope, and encouragement needed to push through difficult moments. The Need for Connection Humans are inherently social creatures. We thrive in environments where we feel accepted, valued, and understood. This need for connection is no less important during healing. In fact, for many, it’s the foundation on which true healing is built. When someone is struggling with the symptoms of trauma as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse (CSA) isolation often creeps in. The shame, guilt, and fear that come with these challenges can make individuals feel alone in their battle. The idea that no one else understands can lead to feelings of hopelessness. However, when someone enters a supportive community, they quickly realize they are not alone, and that’s a powerful shift. The Transformative Power of Community At The Gatehouse, the transformative power of community is nothing short of awe-inspiring. Witnessing survivors tear up when they hear the words “I believe you” underscores the immense strength it takes to fight for oneself, especially when they’ve been denied that belief by those who were meant to protect them. The journey to trust themselves, to open up to the support group process, is truly an honor to witness. Here, survivors realize they deserve better and are willing to do the work of moving from isolation, fear, and shame into connection, love, and joy. While simply showing up is the first step, the real work begins when people engage deeply with the community, and what’s even more remarkable is their determination to continue doing this work time and again. Starting something new is overwhelming for anyone, but for those walking up the five front steps of The Gatehouse—steps many describe as the hardest to take—it’s a courageous leap toward healing. What’s even more inspiring is that many who take that leap go on to thrive, some eventually becoming facilitators themselves. Community begets community, and in this shared space, we learn from one another. When one person steps into their power, it inspires others to keep going, showing them that they, too, can reach that place of empowerment. Witnessing the breakthroughs and successes of others, and celebrating those moments together, is a powerful reminder that no one is ever alone in their struggles or triumphs. This collective strength builds trust and reminds everyone that their worth is not tied to the easy times—they are always supported. A recent event at The Gatehouse that epitomizes community, has been participants creating an aftercare group to continue supporting one another, even after their formal group had ended. This is a true testament to the lasting impact of love, care, and community. The Importance of Community Whether here at The Gatehouse, or other peer-based programs, the importance of community in the healing journey cannot be overstated. When individuals find a place where they belong—where their experiences are validated, and their progress is celebrated—they gain the strength and courage to continue their journey. In these communities, healing becomes not just a personal endeavor, but a collective one. Together, people rise. If you or someone you know is embarking on a recovery journey, remember that reaching out to a community can be a powerful step toward healing. Stories of recovery are stories of hope, and often, they are stories of belonging. For more information about our peer support group programs, please visit https://thegatehouse.org/programs-and-services
7 Trauma-Sensitive Activities to Foster Connection
As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse (CSA), stepping into the world can sometimes feel overwhelming, unpredictable, and even unsafe. The idea of socializing or trying new activities may bring up feelings of uncertainty or hesitation. However, connection—whether with others, nature, or creative expression—can be a powerful part of healing. Building meaningful connections doesn’t have to come with pressure or high expectations. There are many ways to engage with the world in a way that feels safer, and empowering. Below, we’ve outlined a variety of activities designed to help you nurture yourself and foster connection in low-stakes, supportive environments. Whether you’re looking for gentle movement, creative expression, or opportunities to meet like-minded individuals, these seven ideas provide a starting point to explore connection in a way that aligns with your comfort and pace. 1. Volunteer for a Cause That Feels Safe & Meaningful Giving back can be a powerful way to build connection without the pressure of deep personal interactions. Choose a cause that aligns with your values—whether it’s helping animals, planting trees, or assisting in a community pantry. Even if you don’t form immediate friendships, the work itself can be deeply fulfilling and help combat isolation. 2. Join a gentle, structured social group Joining a trauma-informed art class, writing workshop, or music circle allows you to express yourself in a non-verbal, safe, and healing way. Creative activities can be social but low-pressure, letting you connect with others without needing to share personal details. Consider spaces designed for quiet, shared experiences, such as a book club, meditation group, or gardening project. These allow for companionship without the expectation of deep personal sharing, making it easier to connect at a pace that feels safe. 3. Move Your Body in a Way That Feels Comfortable Physical activities like gentle yoga, nature walks, or dance can help regulate the nervous system while offering a chance to connect with like-minded individuals. Look for trauma-informed yoga or mindful movement classes where the focus is on body awareness, not performance. As healing is a personal journey and everyone moves at their own pace, you might prefer activities that offer more structure and social engagement. If you’re ready for a slightly more dynamic yet still low-pressure experience, joining a recreational sports league can be a great way to build camaraderie, develop skills, and enjoy social connection in a supportive environment. 4. Try the Smiling Experiment If social interactions feel overwhelming, start with a low-risk, high-reward activity: go for a walk and smile at as many people as you feel comfortable with. See how many smiles you receive back. Small, positive interactions can help rebuild trust in others while boosting your mood. 5. Send a card or write a letter Mail a handwritten card to a trusted family member, friend, or mentor. Writing can be a way to express connection without the pressure of a real-time conversation. A simple “I appreciate you” or “Thinking of you” can strengthen relationships and remind you that connection exists, even in small moments. 6. Connect with safe, familiar people If meeting new people feels overwhelming, start by deepening existing safe relationships. Invite a trusted friend or loved one for a simple, no-pressure activity like having coffee, watching a favorite show together, or visiting a quiet park. 7. Engage in an Online Supportive Community If in-person socializing feels like too much, online CSA survivor-friendly spaces (such as moderated peer-support groups or creative forums) can be a stepping stone to connection. Look for groups where engagement is optional, allowing you to participate at your comfort level. Remember, connection is a powerful part of healing. For more information on our peer supported programs check out https://thegatehouse.org/programs-and-services