The Gatehouse was proud to collaborate with senior students from Humber Polytechnic’s Community Development program on a research project examining the effectiveness of our Phase 1 peer support program for 2SLGBTQIA+ adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse. This partnership provided valuable insights into both the strengths of our existing services and the unique needs of 2SLGBTQIA+ participants within our community. As part of our commitment to continuous improvement and inclusivity, The Gatehouse is actively taking steps to implement the report’s key recommendations. We will be hosting a focus group with 2SLGBTQIA+ survivors to gain a deeper understanding of their experiences and needs. Additionally, we are updating our training resources and program materials to ensure greater representation, inclusive language, and identity-affirming practices across all levels of our service delivery. This collaboration reflects our ongoing dedication to creating safe, responsive, and empowering spaces for all survivors, especially those from communities that continue to face systemic barriers in accessing support. 2SLGBTQIA+ Peer Support Survey Snapshot 18 participants surveyed; diverse gender identities and sexual orientations. 33.3% said they would prefer a 2SLGBTQIA+-specific group;50% preferred mixed groups;16.7% were unsure. 58% said they did not receive follow-up resources or aftercare information. 78% made suggestions for increased inclusion, even if they felt generally supported. Key Recommendations The full report can be accessed —>Final Research Report (1) The Gatehouse remains deeply committed to providing trauma-informed, inclusive, and empowering peer support to all survivors of childhood sexual abuse. This collaborative research project with Humber Polytechnic students has highlighted both the meaningful impact of our programs and the opportunity to evolve further by addressing the unique needs of 2SLGBTQIA+ participants. By listening to survivor voices, reflecting on lived experiences, and embracing recommendations grounded in intersectionality and equity, we are taking actionable steps toward fostering safer, more representative spaces. The upcoming focus group, updates to facilitator training, and the integration of 2SLGBTQIA+-inclusive content into program materials are just the beginning. We are grateful to the participants, student researchers, and our wider community for their trust and insight. Together, we continue to build a future where every survivor feels seen, supported, and empowered in their healing journey. Thank you to the Humber Polytechnic student team for their invaluable work on this! If you are a 2SLGBTQIA+ community member who took part in a Gatehouse phase 1 program in the past and would like to submit feedback about your experience, please contact: Karen MacKeigan, Program Coordinator, Intakes & Phase 1, via email at karen@thegatehouse.org This research is critical in addressing a long-standing gap in literature and practice surrounding the experiences of 2SLGBTQIA+ survivors of childhood sexual abuse (CSA) in peer support settings. Members of the 2SLGBTQIA+ community face disproportionately high rates of CSA and often experience additional barriers to accessing affirming, inclusive support. By centring their voices and lived experiences, this research highlights the need for trauma-informed, identity-affirming approaches that recognize and respond to the intersectional realities of gender, sexuality, race, and survivorship. The findings offer practical insights that can enhance program responsiveness, increase participant safety and comfort, and ensure that healing environments like The Gatehouse remain welcoming and effective for all survivors. The Gatehouse is a registered Canadian charity dedicated to providing peer support, education, and healing spaces for adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Our work is made possible through the generosity of donors, volunteers, and community partners. To support our efforts, you can make a donation, volunteer your time, sponsor a program or event, or share our mission with others. Every contribution helps us continue building safe, inclusive spaces where survivors, especially those from underserved communities like 2SLGBTQIA+, can be heard, supported, and empowered. Learn more or get involved by visiting www.thegatehouse.org/donate. Check out https://www.the519.org/
CSA Disclosure: What Comes Next?
When the person who harmed you is someone you love and trust, the idea of disclosure can feel like standing at the edge of a chasm—impossible to cross. What will happen if I don’t let my voice be heard? And what will happen when I do? Sometimes, nothing happens. And that silence says everything about our culture. Other times, disclosure is like an earthquake. It shatters the foundation of your life. Relationships break apart under the weight of disbelief, mistrust, confusion, anger, and grief. And at the heart of it all is the survivor, trying to make sense of everything. Aftershocks and Blame Survivors often feel like they’re the cause of the fallout—as if they’ve ruined something by speaking up. They haven’t. They’re not the cause. They are survivors, managing the aftershock of something that was never their fault. When people respond to disclosure in ways that are re-traumatizing, it can be tempting to silence ourselves again, or feel regretful for speaking up. They begin to wonder if it was worth it. Other responses can be mixed messaging by the receiver: they can say they believe you, but act like they don’t. Or, they believe you but expect you to move on quickly; or they believe you and then never talk about it again. Leaving the individual suspended in tentative safety. And Tentative safety is NOT safety. The Reality of Disclosure When survivors stay silent, the pain often doesn’t disappear, but burrows deeper into the body. Telling your story can be liberating. For some, it’s the first concrete step toward healing. However disclosure doesn’t always bring instant relief. Sometimes the expectation is that speaking up will make everything feel better. In truth, it can feel more like looking at a wound: You assess, then take the steps you need to heal it. But it still hurts, it’s still unpleasant to examine, and it needs time. Making Sense of Loss Like resetting a broken bone—an intentional kind of hurt, scary, unavoidable, and necessary—so too is the healing journey after disclosure. Some relationships, especially those that have become emotionally necrotic, may need to be realigned or, in some cases, removed altogether. This might mean letting go of long-time friends or even family members. Even harmful connections were still connections. And loss—even when it keeps us safe—still hurts. Recovery from that kind of loss is like emotional physical therapy: uncomfortable, frustrating, and slow. But without it, we don’t regain our strength. The Crash After Speaking There can be an immense emotional crash after disclosure.Exhaustion sets in, not just from telling the story, but from everything it disrupts. Disclosure can force people to confront things they’d rather keep buried: their own complicity, their own guilt, their own understanding of who they are in relation to you. And in that space, the survivor can feel more alone than ever—vulnerable, changed, and aching for support in a world laid on shifting sands. There is likely uncertainty around what comes next. A question of how to continue the healing journey. New feelings may emerge: relief, grief, anger, and what-ifs. Another aftershock. Whether You’ve Disclosed…Or Not. No matter what your circumstance regarding disclosure, please remember: You are not responsible for other people’s inability to face the truth.You are not too much.You are not alone.You spoke because you were brave.And that bravery deserves care—not punishment.
How the Science and Art of Shinrin-yoku Can Support Healing
A Brief History of Shinrin-yoku The term shinrin-yoku was coined in 1982 by Tomohide Akiyama, who was the director of the Japanese Ministry of Agriculture, Forestry, and Fisheries. Several studies were conducted in Japan during the 1980s, and soon forest bathing was seen to be an effective method in destressing and supporting the immune system. Another notable discovery is that compounds like phytoncides and other essential oils in trees and plants have beneficial health effects. Beyond the physiological benefits Shinrin-yoku was also developed as a response to the increasing urbanization and technological advancements in Japan. Forest bathing was implemented to encourage reconnection to nature, and with this reconnection a drive to protect the wild world. What we can see in this is a beautiful cyclical symbiosis occurring: nature supports survivors, and survivors can support nature in return. How Does Shinrin-yoku Connect to Trauma? Trauma can fracture one’s sense of self; open chasms between family and friends; the world becomes frightening full of distrust. The Japanese’ intent to reconnect people with nature mirrors nature’s gentle invitation for survivors to reconnect with themselves. Self-connection encourages survivors to protect themselves through self-compassion, self-validation instead of methods that no longer serve them. Furthermore, the hope for people to want to protect nature is indicative that healing is individual and collective; internal and external, reciprocal. When healing begin so does expansion: moving from within us, to those we love, to community, to the wider world. Like the sun rising, its warm glow slowly expanding over everything below, healing too expands, shining its nurturing light on all that needs it to grow. How Does One Conduct Shinrin-yoku Forest bathing is a melding of mindfulness and meditation enhanced by the inevitable calm of natural spaces. For survivors the slow pace and peaceful sounds can bring our mind-body into a state of calm that has long-lasting effects: “The results of Japanese studies have shown forest bathing improves sleep quality, mood, ability to focus, stress levels. Chronic stress can contribute to the development of ailments like anxiety, depression and insomnia (Forest Bathing in Japan; 2022).” While you may not have access to serene Japanese mountains, local green spaces offer the same benefits. Whether a small park, or a mountain rage, take time to mindfully smell the flowers, the leaves. Rest your palm against the bark of a tree, run your fingers across mossy patches; inhale deeply and notice the smell of air, and dirt. Listen to the distinct chirping of birds, the wind rustling the leaves. Remember you aren’t here to fix or change anything: nature is a place to step outside of pain, expectations, overwhelm for a moment, to just be. Ceremony in Nature If you are interested in bringing ceremony into your outdoors experience, I offer you the following exercise, which you can make as spiritual and ceremonious as you are comfortable this: this is your experience. Begin by naming what you are ready to release: a specific emotion, memory, belief. Use something light and biodegradable like a leaf, flower petal, or a small piece of paper and write a word or symbol on to it. You can also simply place your intention and energy for release into this object. When you find the right spot for you, and the wind begins to stir, let it carry your object however it drifts, falls or floats. Pay attention to what surfaces for you. Honor those feelings. Hold your hand to your heart or place your hand on the bark of a tree, whatever feels right for you, and say silently or aloud that which you are honoring. You are still here. You are on your healing journey. You are safe in this moment. Resources If you would like to hear from one of the modern day leading scientists on Shinrin-yoku you can click on this link and listen to Dr. Qing Li talk about the practice: The Art and Science of Forest Bathing with Dr Qing Li – YouTube Organization, Japan National Tourism. “Forest Bathing in Japan (Shinrin-Yoku): Guide: Travel Japan – Japan National Tourism Organization (Official Site).” Travel Japan, 14 Apr. 2022, www.japan.travel/en/guide/forest-bathing/.
Nature as a Steady Companion in Healing
For many survivors of childhood sexual abuse (CSA), the journey of healing can feel uncertain and unsteady—like walking on shifting sand. The trauma experienced in childhood can fracture a person’s sense of self, stability, and connection, not only with others but also with their own body and the world around them. In the midst of this long and often difficult process of recovery, nature offers something quietly powerful: steadiness. Nature Does Not Demand Explanations Nature is a safe witness just as Lee Lyttle writes in his book Wounded Healer: “When I cried, the trees stared at me and simply listened. I felt secure, I wasn’t judged (p.30).” Nature accepts us unconditionally in a way that can be challenging to find in human relationships. Being outdoors, especially in quiet and natural places, can provide a place to express oneself, feel oneself without intrusion or judgement. For many survivors, this is a crucial step in feeling safe again: to be seen, without having to explain, justify, or defend. In this natural playground, we can observe and learn from nature’s processes: trees don’t hurry to bloom; rivers carve through stone over centuries; leaves are shed for new ones; forest fires cleanse, creating space for new, stronger foliage. Nature’s cycles of death and rebirth, removal for new growth, reflect the human journey into healing: our sense of self continually shifts. We, too, shed the dead leaves of shame and guilt in the hope of budding new leaves of empowerment. Nature imparts that it’s okay to move slowly; there is no urgency to “move on” from trauma. Healing is not linear. Like a tide, healing has ebbs and flows, and like the earth, we are allowed to change gradually, to rest, to fall apart, and to grow again. Nature is an Anchor Trauma, especially CSA, often disrupts the relationship we have with our own bodies. Many survivors may feel numb, disconnected, or unsafe in their physical selves. Nature gently invites us back to the body through sensory experiences that feel grounding and real. Nature acts like an exploratory playground survivors can engage with at their own pace. “These experiences in Nature are where I learned I had some control and when I explored, nothing stopped me, and nothing judged me. The environment just seemed to sit and watch me playing. Sometimes I shifted leaves and grass around to examine the light of the sun and create my own shadows. My time in Nature was, and continues to be, limitless (Lyttle, p.29).” For those who have experienced the instability of trauma, there is comfort and anchoring in simply touching the earth. Feeling your feet in the grass, sitting against a tree trunk, or feeling the softness of a flower petal. The earth and all of its offerings holds us without question. If you are a CSA survivor, please know this: you are not broken. You are healing in your own time, in your own way. And the natural world is walking alongside you. The ground beneath your feet is more than support. It is a steady companion.
The 7 Grandfather Teachings and How They Can Support Healing
The Seven Grandfather Teachings are powerful guideposts rooted in Anishinaabe tradition, offering timeless wisdom for living in balance with oneself, others, and all of creation. While not all Indigenous Nations teach or interpret these teachings in the same way, many recognize their relevance as part of a broader spiritual and cultural framework. These teachings aren’t just for reflection—they are a call to action. If we embodied them in our lives—at home, at work, and in our relationships—the way we connect to each other, to the land, and to ourselves might profoundly shift. For survivors of childhood sexual abuse (CSA), the Seven Grandfather Teachings offer a compassionate, strength-based lens for reclaiming power, voice, and belonging. Using the Nottawaseppi Band of the Potawatomi Federal Tribal Government website’s (Seven Grandfather Teachings | NHBP) guide to the Seven Grandfather teachings, let’s explore how each teaching can serve as a gentle companion on the healing journey: Love Respect “There should be no part of creation that should be excluded from the honor that we are to give.” Respect reminds us that every person has inherent value. That includes survivors. When we acknowledge someone’s truth, we show them respect. When we respect ourselves—our limits, our needs, our past—we create space for healing. Respect is the antidote to shame. It’s how we reclaim dignity and self-worth after trauma. Bravery “We face life with the courage to use our personal strengths to face difficulties, stand tall through adversity, and make positive choices.” Bravery doesn’t always look bold. Sometimes, it’s just surviving the day. Sometimes, it’s sharing your truth out loud for the first time. For survivors, bravery is in every small act of healing—asking for help, saying “no,” setting a boundary, or simply waking up and continuing Truth “We must understand, speak, and feel the truth, while also honoring its power.” Truth is often uncomfortable, but essential. Naming what happened is part of reclaiming our voice. Denial can protect us temporarily, but long-term healing asks us to face what hurts so we can begin to release it. Living in our truth, even when it’s painful, brings us closer to our authentic selves—and to the future we deserve. Honesty “We must allow truth to be our guide. We must first be honest with ourselves. This will allow us to be honest with others.” Honesty means acknowledging our feelings and experiences without minimizing them. It takes courage to look inward and say, “This happened, and it mattered.” Honesty is the bridge between truth and connection. It helps us build relationships rooted in integrity and authenticity—starting with ourselves. Humility “We should never think of ourselves as being better or worse than anyone else.” Trauma can create isolation. Survivors often carry the belief that no one else could possibly understand. Humility reminds us that we’re not alone. We’re not worse or less than anyone else. We are part of a much larger human story—each of us figuring out life as best we can. When we embrace humility, we create space to grow, to make mistakes, and to feel connected to others and to something greater than ourselves. Wisdom The Seven Grandfather Teachings are lifelong companions. They invite us to live with intention, to honor ourselves and each other, and to deepen our connection with the natural world. For survivors of CSA, these teachings offer a language for healing that is rooted in dignity, balance, and strength.
1 Simple Way You Can Reduce Anxiety: P.A.U.S.E
In today’s hyper-connected world, the constant buzz of social media can feel overwhelming. As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, navigating the barrage of notifications, opinions, and comparison traps can be particularly activating. At The Gatehouse, we embrace the importance of a simple yet powerful concept: P.A.U.S.E. What is P.A.U.S.E? P.A.U.S.E. stands for Paying Attention Unveils Sacred Experiences and is attributed to Arthur Lockhart, the Founder of The Gatehouse. It’s a simple yet profound way of transforming how I respond to the obstacles that come up in daily life. Those obstacles can show up in countless ways—someone yelling at me, feeling stuck in traffic, being late for a meeting, not feeling heard, getting frustrated by someone cutting me off on the highway, or even feeling taken advantage of. The list of obstacles can seem endless. The PAUSE exercise encourages me to slow down and create space for reflection and healing. When it comes to social media, PAUSE is a deliberate, conscious choice to step away from all the noise and reconnect with my thoughts and emotions. I’ve found that social media can feel like an endless loop of opinions, judgments, and unrealistic expectations. But by choosing to PAUSE, I reclaim my power to decide what truly deserves my attention. Why Social Media Can Be Overwhelming Social media thrives on engagement, but that engagement comes at a cost. Algorithms are designed to keep me hooked, making it difficult to disengage even when the content feels harmful or activating. The comparison culture and toxic positivity I encounter online can sometimes make me feel inadequate or invalidated, especially when my healing journey looks different from what others portray How to practice PAUSE Effectively 1. Set Boundaries: I find it helpful to define specific times of the day to check social media and stick to them. Outside of those windows, I give myself permission to log off. 2. Mindful Awareness: I notice how social media makes me feel. If I’m feeling anxious or overwhelmed, it’s a sign it’s time to PAUSE. 3. Breathing Exercises: Slow, deep breaths help me ground myself in the present moment, making it easier to detach from social media’s pull. 4. Disconnect to Reconnect: Turning off notifications or temporarily disabling apps helps me avoid the constant urge to check them. I use that time to journal, meditate, or simply sit in stillness. 5. Reflect and Reassess: After a PAUSE, I ask myself: Does my mind feel clearer? Is my emotional state more balanced? Revisiting these questions regularly helps me stay in tune with my healing journey. The Benefits of Embracing PAUSE Practicing PAUSE has allowed me to break free from the digital noise and find clarity within myself. This quiet space helps me: · Promote emotional healing · Reduce anxiety and overwhelm · Enhance personal growth · Focus on what truly matters Finding Your Balance At The Gatehouse, we encourage participants to explore the concept of PAUSE as part of their healing journey. The digital world may be loud, but I have the power to lower the volume. It all begins with a moment of PAUSE. Taking a break from social media isn’t about abandoning technology altogether. It’s about intentionally creating moments of stillness and clarity amid the chaos. When I embrace PAUSE, I give myself the gift of calm reflection and a chance to reconnect with my own thoughts and feelings. This simple practice is a powerful step toward healing and well-being, helping me focus on what truly matters If you’re feeling overwhelmed by social media, consider exploring mindfulness practices or seeking support at The Gatehouse. Healing is a journey, and every step counts.
Rooted Resilience: Returning to Nature
What is happening when we find ourselves immersed in nature—when we notice the profound absence of city sounds, replaced by a silence alive with birdsong, the whisper of wind through trees, the rustling of leaves, and perhaps the soft lapping of water on a shore or the gurgle of a flowing river? What happens when we are out there and suddenly feel like we can finally exhale, as if we can breathe a long-awaited sigh of relief? According to the Logos Healing Institute what we’re experiencing is that “Nature’s rhythmic patterns and soothing sensory stimuli act as a gentle regulator, helping to restore balance to the nervous system. The gentle rustle of leaves, the rhythmic lapping of waves, or the warm embrace of sunlight can all serve as anchors, guiding survivors back to a state of equilibrium through their senses in a way that words can never do.” Through this, our bodies can begin to return to a state of regulation. If you’ve ever seen a tree grow around an obstacle in its way, you’ve witnessed the resilience of nature. In many ways, nature reflects survivors’ own capacity for resilience. As the Logos Healing Institute so beautifully expresses: “Resilience is the ability to weather storms and thrive amidst adversity. Nature can be a source of continued inspiration and growth. By engaging in outdoor activities such as hiking, rock climbing, or building a campfire, survivors learn new skills and also learn in new ways how resilient and strong they really are. These experiences can aid survivors in reclaiming a sense of agency over their lives and empower them to reclaim authorship of their stories.” While deep immersion in nature can sometimes be a privileged experience—requiring time, access, and resources—not everyone needs to travel far to reconnect with the natural world. Simple grounding practices, like walking barefoot on grass, writing or drawing outdoors, collecting natural materials for creative projects, or meditating beneath a tree, can strengthen both our healing and our connection to nature. Even envisioning a peaceful natural scene can help soothe the nervous system and bring us closer to balance. Keeping a plant—real or artificial for those without a green thumb—or even a photograph of a calming natural space, is known to have a similarly grounding effect. Whether we venture deep into the wilderness or simply pause beneath a tree in a city park, nature offers us quiet lessons in healing and strength. By returning to these natural rhythms—through our senses, through movement, or even through imagination—we create space for calm, regulation, and the rediscovery of our own resilience.
Health is Wealth: Invest in Yourself as a CSA Survivor
As survivors of childhood sexual abuse (CSA), many of us have spent years carrying burdens we did not choose. Healing can feel like a long and uncertain journey—but it’s important to remember this: your health is your greatest wealth. The investment you make in your emotional, physical, and mental well-being is one of the most valuable gifts you can give yourself. Survivors often put others first or avoid their own needs, but healing starts when you decide that you matter, that your well-being deserves attention and care. Just as we might save for the future or invest in our careers, we must also prioritize ourselves by tending to the wounds we carry. Your story, your body, your emotions—they all deserve nurturing, safety, and space to heal. Investing in Yourself Looks Like: At The Gatehouse, we offer a supportive, non-judgmental space for adult survivors of CSA to begin or continue this journey. You don’t have to do this by yourself. Whether it’s through our peer support programs, workshops, or survivor-led initiatives, there are compassionate people here to walk beside you. Your healing is an investment in your future—your peace, your relationships, your sense of purpose. Every step you take toward wellness is a step toward reclaiming your voice and your life. Visit thegatehouse.org to learn more about how we can support you. Because you are worthy of healing.Because health is wealth.Because you matter.
Dancing As a Form of Healing
“If you can’t say it, you sing it, and if you can’t sing it, you dance it.” -Anonymous In an article posted on the website The Mighty, Monika Sudakov talks about how dance helped her work through her own childhood sexual abuse concluding that, “I encourage anyone, with a trauma history or otherwise, to engage in some kind of dance-like movement to music.” Dance as Freedom It is becoming widely recognized that trauma can be held in the body. Movement helps us tune into where it might be held and supports us in releasing it. For survivors of CSA, freeing the body from what it carries is an essential step toward both emotional and physical healing. Dance can be a powerful way to facilitate this release. Sudakov writes about three key impacts of dance on trauma. First, it promotes the release of feel-good hormones. She states, “Factor in the element of music in dance and you have a powerful one-two punch of reducing stress hormones like cortisol and engaging parts of the brain associated with emotional regulation.” Second, dance engages bilateral stimulation, a principle central to EMDR therapy. She explains: The fundamental tenet of EMDR, bilateral stimulation, enables one to engage both hemispheres of the brain simultaneously, allowing connections to be made that can effectively process memories that may have gotten stuck. Body movement where alternating sides of the body are worked in sequence is one of these. Therefore, dance engaging repetition from one side of the body to another can effectuate a similar result. (Sudakov, 2024) Third, dance supports the vagus nerve function, which is often disrupted by trauma. Sudakov notes: It is well known that trauma can disrupt vagus nerve function, causing dysregulation of everything from digestion to mood. Two of the best ways to stimulate positive vagal functioning are through exercise and deep, slow breathing, both of which are integral aspects to dance.(Sudakov, 2024). Ecstatic Dance If dance sounds intriguing, one such form of dance is called ecstatic dance, a form of moving meditation where you allow yourself to dance to the energy of music like a hill that you slowly climb, reaching a peak, and then descend. You can look for local ecstatic communities, such as Ecstatic Dance Toronto. If there aren’t any local communities near you, the wonderful news is you can do this in your own home with your own curated playlist. Give it a try and express your feelings from the day or week! While ecstatic dance allows for free-form movement and emotional expression, some people may prefer a more structured approach to movement as a healing practice. One such method is 5 Movement Dance, which follows a ‘wave’ or pattern of music, suggestive of 5 moods or rhythms: flowing, staccato, chaos, lyrical and stillness. Unlike ecstatic dance, not only does the facilitator play the music, they also interact with the dancers, encouraging and reminded participants to breathe and bring attention to their emotions and bodily sensations. If this sounds interesting but also a bit overwhelming, remember that dance is about self-expression. There is no wrong way to connect with music and movement. In these spaces, everyone is free from judgment, encouraged to listen to their body, heart, and soul. Sudakov, M., So You Think You Can Dance to Process Trauma, The Mighty, July 17th 2024. Is Ecstatic Dance and 5 Rhythms the Same Thing, Flo Motion, March 17th 2023.
Healing with Expressive Art Therapy
Art therapy can help survivors of childhood sexual abuse (CSA) express what words might not be able to. It’s about letting go of judgment and perfectionism, embracing the process, and creating simply for the joy of it. Expressive Art Therapy isn’t about making art for others, it’s about making art for yourself, to better understand yourself. And yes, that can feel vulnerable as it might stir up old emotions or unlock new ones. Expressive Art Therapy can also reconnect us with our inner child, bringing moments of pure joy. The expressive arts honour our deep longing to be seen, heard, felt and understood. We can use all the arts (visual art, voice, writing/poetry, dance/movement, drama and somatic) therapeutically to express ourselves in creative ways. Maybe art doesn’t feel intuitive to you, or maybe you don’t think of yourself as an artist. That’s okay. Let’s explore some creative activities that you can begin to explore at your own pace. Activity 1- Nature-based expression to move with grief or other emotions: Recall something from your life you would like to make peace with. You don’t need to be completely ready to make peace, you just need to be willing. Notice your willingness even if you are only a little willing and set your intention to begin this creative process to help you process, heal, let go and transform whatever it is that you are choosing to dedicate this practice to. On your walk, remember your intention. Look for flowers, grasses, leaves and especially things that nature is naturally letting go of. You may notice there are things you are drawn towards. Bring a small bag to collect anything that catches your eye. If you are taking small branches or flowers, remember to ask the plant for permission. Asking for permission recognizes that we live in reciprocity with nature. Once you have collected enough materials from nature (this can happen over a few days or weeks) you can set aside a day to start working with the materials you have gathered. Spread your gathered items on a piece of cloth, table, or floor and start to see how the materials want to be assembled. Feel free to use things from your home such as ribbons, colorful paper, and string to assemble the materials. You can assemble and work with the material in any way that allows you to be with and express the emotions you have been working with. Some people create a grief bundle or a bouquet. You can use paper or a canvas to glue the materials or make a 3-D structure. Something completely unique may want to emerge. Stay with the process and be with what you are experiencing. You can play music, light a candle, have a warm cup of tea or cacao and make this a healing ritual for yourself. You can come back to work on this over many days or you can create something in just one afternoon. Once your creation feels complete, you can be with it. Look at it and give voice to it. What would it say if it could speak to you? You can dance or move with it. You can keep this creation as long as you want, or you can return it to the earth or burn it in a fire. It is totally up to you. Notice and journal your process.