Anxiety and Managing Anxiety by: Jasmine Lem, BSc, Practicum Student Anxiety is a feeling we are all familiar with. Life can be busy and complicated, filled with work, school, family, and so forth, and it can sometimes be overwhelming. Anxiety exists on a continuum of mild to severe and can be experienced through our emotions (i.e. worry or fear), thoughts (i.e. “I’m going to fail this”), and physical symptoms (i.e. racing heart). It is our body’s natural way of responding to stress. It can be felt before writing an exam, during a job interview, and in front of a large crowd. These are all perfectly standard stressful situations to feel anxious in, however, it is important to note that there is a very important distinction between feelings of anxiousness and anxiety disorders. Normal feelings of anxiousness are usually short-lived, happens on occasion, and typically do not result in any meaningful consequences. In fact, normal anxiety can be a good thing, because it is your body’s fight or flight response to a potentially threatening and stressful situation. Anxiety disorders, however, are anxiety symptoms that become uncomfortable to the point where it interferes with your job, with school, with your personal life, and in general, daily life functioning. Anxiety symptoms can arise for no apparent reason, are chronic, and/or occur as intense episodes (Center for Addiction and Mental Health, n.d.). Anxiety disorders can be broken down into categories such as Panic Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, and Social Anxiety Disorder. The different types of anxiety disorders although may be experienced differently, can all be characterized by irrational and excessive fear, apprehensive and tense feelings, and difficulty managing daily tasks (CAMH, n.d). Signs and symptoms include anxious thoughts (i.e. I feel like I am going crazy), predictions (i.e. I will blank out during my presentation), beliefs (i.e. I am weak because I am anxious), avoidance behaviours, and excessive physical reactions (i.e. racing heart, sweating, shortness of breath). Causes and risks factors for anxiety disorders include traumatic events, childhood development issues, and family history for anxiety. In Canada, anxiety disorders affect approximately 5% of household populations, causing mild to severe impairments (Canadian Mental Health, 2019). Nonetheless, whether you experience fleeting symptoms of anxiety or are diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, there are many ways you can manage anxiety to encourage positive wellbeing. This is of course, aside from professional treatments and interventions for diagnosed anxiety disorders. There are many techniques and skills that you can employ in your everyday routine or when your anxiety flares up that can help you manage and cope with anxious feelings. However, firstly, awareness is key. It is important to self-reflect and understands what your triggers are, why they are, and how anxiety presents itself for you as thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. Further, to be aware of and learn different coping strategies that work for you based on your needs. This allows you to proactively anticipate feelings of anxiety and engage your toolbox of skills and techniques to better help you manage them. As mentioned, there are many techniques and coping skills you can use to manage anxiety. They include grounding techniques, and cognitive and mindfulness activities. Below are some techniques you can use. It is also important to note that not every technique or skill works for everyone and for all the time. You may need to engage in a lot of self-reflection and trial and error to see what works best for you. We are also constantly changing, and what works for us one day may not work the next. Before starting and while executing any of these activities, focus on your breathing and take a couple of deep breaths. This allows your body to relax and encourages your mind to focus on the present moment. Grounding Techniques and Mindfulness Activities: The act of grounding is to bring yourself to the present and focus on your physical body or surroundings, instead of the thoughts that are causing you to feel overwhelmed and anxious. One grounding exercise is the 54321 activity. This activity encourages you to engage your senses by acknowledging 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. Another activity is holding and focusing on an object and making as many observations as you can of it. Other activities include planting both feet on the ground and focusing on how it feels, and savoring a favourite scent, whether through a candle or perfume bottle. You can also engage in mindfulness activities by doing yoga, meditation, and deep breathing exercises. There are plenty of resources available to you for free, if you have access to the internet, that you can use to follow guided meditation pieces, yoga videos, and deep breathing exercises. There are also wellbeing apps you can use that provide different kinds of mindfulness activities on the go. Journaling: Journaling helps you to label and put into words your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. You can start a gratitude journal by writing about 3 things you are grateful for every night. You can also journal affirmations you can say to yourself during the day, such as “I am enough” or “I am safe, and I am loved”. Additionally, you can start a thought journal, tracking negative and positive thoughts you experienced through the day, identifying what happened and why you think you felt that way, and reframing any negative self-thoughts to positive ones. Physical Activity: Physical activity can help ease anxiety because it releases feel-good endorphins. It also comes with many psychological benefits, such as increasing confidence. Consider adding a daily exercise routine to your schedule or go for daily walks. Self-Care: It is important to engage in self-care as often as you can. Life can get overwhelming with all the responsibilities you have, and it can be very easy to forget to take care of yourself. Try to carve some time out for yourself by
New Year’s Resolutions: Yea or Nay?
New Year’s Resolutions: Yea or Nay By: Maria Barcelos, MA, Executive Director, Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) | January 24, 2021 Setting New Year’s resolutions isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. It can feel overwhelming for some and motivating for others. If they motivate you and you find them helpful to keep committed and achieve your goals throughout the year, great! If not, don’t worry! Carrying out meaningful actions each month, week or day can help you achieve your goals too. What are your life goals? What kind of life do you want to live? What are some actions you can take right now to start achieving them? How can you take your life goal and break it down into smaller components over the year? Our mindset influences how we view the world, and how we view ourselves. Trauma skews that view and takes us off our course. There is hope, and transformation is possible. Often transformation starts in conversations with others. I am grateful to my colleague Brad Hutchinson, who shared the following statement with me over six years ago now, “What you focus on expands for you.” I’m not sure if Brad knows just how impactful those words were for me. Thanks, Brad! What I was focusing on at the time, was taking me off my course to achieving a University education, writing articles such as this one, and being a more present parent to my two children. The state of stuckness I was experiencing was rooted in fear, anxiety and inner unhelpful thoughts of “You’re not perfect” or “You’re going to fail” or “It’s too late for you to do that.” Bring on the helpful beliefs! (that curiously are sometimes in direct competition with the ones I mentioned above). Helpful beliefs are core underlying beliefs that you hold about yourself. I am worthy; I am a good person were two of mine that helped me move forward with some of my BIG life goals. What are some of the helpful beliefs, and thoughts that you have that keep you focused on your healing journey? These are your guiding beliefs. As survivors, sometimes, our minds shift to unhelpful thoughts, rooted in shame, fear, and despair. You are not alone. There is hope and you can shift how you think about yourself and your experiences. Here are some tips for setting SMART [Specific. Measurable. Achievable. Relevant. Timely] goals and some of the strategies that have been helpful to keep me on the path of the life I want to live; the one filled with possibility, health, and happiness. This is not an exhaustive list. What other strategies have you tried that worked for you? #1 Write them down – Writing your goals, including the steps you’re taking to achieve them, what potential obstacles you may encounter and how you plan to work through those, can help you stay on track! A vision board is also a great idea to visualize your goals! There are so many great examples online! #2 Reward yourself with things that matter to you when accomplishing small or big goals! You deserve it. Celebrate. Personally, I love audiobooks on Audible! Remember, proactive rewards that won’t hinder your goals. #3 Check-in and adjust – Sometimes priorities change, so do goals! Journalling helps me stay focused and accountable. How do you know it’s time to adjust your goal? Leave a comment on our social media pages! #4 Engage in meaningful actions towards your goals. If you are spending time distracting yourself with other activities, how can you shift your focus back to your goals? What is meaningful to you? Who can you ask for support? #5 Timing is important. When do you want to achieve your goal? Keep your timeline realistic. If you need a month to get it done, don’t plan for a deadline tomorrow! #6 Visualize yourself achieving the goal. Deadlines keep me focused. Visualization helps me stay motivated. Does it work for you? # 7 Stay the course by setting aside time to work on your goals daily, weekly, monthly! Seek support if you get “stuck.” I’m grateful to my awesome team for their support. Who’s on your team? #8 Steer clear of unattainable goals. This may be self-sabotaging behaviour in action. Think about how and when you can achieve the goal. if it feels overwhelming, adjust the goal, seek support, and plan a new course. You can do this! When we focus on what we have, we focus on what matters. What you focus on, expands for you!
The Transformational Power of Grit
The Transformational Power of Grit by Sherry Slejska | January 9. 2021 “Dedicated to the wonderful women & John in my peer support group!” Few words can describe the character of someone who survives great hardship and then embarks on a transformational journey of personal discovery. Perhaps grit might be one of those words. We make heroes of the famed professional athletes pursuing their own story of greatness. We find powerful inspiration in their blood, sweat, tears, and triumph. We cheer from the sidelines for the underdog in a dog eat dog arena. In fact, if you were to place a wager, it would be the underdog who has the greatest payout. They learn more, do more, work harder, become more resilient and embrace self compassion when they fall short. And when they fail, they get back up and try again. It’s the metamorphosis of the wounded, disabled, persecuted, victimized, and disadvantaged that inspires radical change for others. These are the places grit is born and grows and becomes infectious. Michael Jordan was cut from his highschool basketball team; he went on to become one of the NBA’s all-time best athletes. Bethany Hamilton lost her arm to a shark attack; with one arm, she became a pro surfer. Micheal Phelps suffered from ADHD and has 8 Olympic gold medals to his credit for swimming. Kieran Behan lived through life-threatening cancer and a severe brain injury; he qualified for the 2012 Olympic games in London.1 These athletes are legendary because of the grit they demonstrated to persevere through their pain, fears and adversity. The world draws on their stories to find inspiration and hope. What about Adela who lost her right leg to cancer when she was only 10 years old? She is now a nurse in Toronto and helps others journey through cancer treatment. Arden came to Canada as a refugee when he was 12. He had seen atrocities beyond words and experienced homelessness and hunger. He embraced every opportunity to integrate into his new country; overcoming cultural, language, and financial barriers. He presently works as a software engineer and has a wife, two children, and a home in Mississauga, Ontario. Nadia would sleep in her closet to hide from her abuser. She fled to the streets and became a heroin addict to numb the pain from her past. To pay for her addiction she prostituted herself. Today, she is clean. She works as an addiction counselor helping others confront their pain and be released from their addictions. These are inspiring stories but let’s face it, we rarely hear the word, grit, used to describe seemingly average people who have faced extraordinary adversity. It’s when Stuart wakes up each day and gets out of bed as depression weighs down on him and he feels like he’d rather die. It’s when Nguyen had the courage to walk away from an abusive relationship. It’s when Marco rejects the negative stories his head tells him which are untrue. It’s when Mela consciously pauses, allowing powerful emotions to pass through her before responding. It’s when I resist the intense desire to overreact and accept that my brain sometimes malfunctions as a result of a traumatic past. It’s when we turn inward to confront feelings like guilt and shame; releasing them and finding a lightness and freedom for the first time ever. These are the places grit resides. “Some say you need to stand on top of the world to accomplish greatness when really you just need to stand on top of your own fears.” - Ray Slejska It’s our own courageous human struggles as we face fears and take on challenging emotional and physical pain that can help us find our grit and become a beacon of inspiration for others. Grit is defined as the firmness of mind or spirit: unyielding courage in the face of hardship or danger.2 Angela Duckworth, psychologist and author of, Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance explains that grit is a mental toughness that helps you persevere even in the face of obstacles.3 When we face our hardships and not deny or run from them, we nurture our own mental toughness and grit. Our failures and imperfections provide rich knowledge and wisdom to support the development of courage, conscientiousness, perseverance, resilience, and passion; the essential ingredients of grit. “Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it is the courage to continue that counts.” (Winston Churchill) “Grit is passion and perseverance for long-term goals,” says Duckworth. Imagine what it might be like to embrace this next quote? “Grit is sticking with your future, day in, day out, not just for the week, not just for the month, but for years, and working really hard to make that future a reality.”4 It allows you and your circumstances to be less than ideal right now. It opens up the idea that your present challenge is part of this gritty journey that you are on, but not all of it. Now, are you starting to see the transformational power of grit? _____________________________________________________________________________________ 1 Locke, R. (2015, May 18). The Stories Of These 5 Athletes Will Motivate Everyone Of You. Retrieved January 08, 2021, from https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/the-stories-these-5-athletes-will-motivate-everyone-you.html 2 Grit. (n.d.). Retrieved January 08, 2021, from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/grit 3 Duckworth, A. (2016). Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Harper Collins Publishers. Ltd. 4 Duckworth, A. (2016). Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Harper Collins Publishers. Ltd.
Gratitude for Your Body & Brain
Gratitude for Your Body & Brain By Sherry Slejska Gratitude; a feeling of appreciation and one which good parents are quick to teach their children at a young age. While it might be the culturally appropriate auto reply we use to follow a welcomed exchange, it’s far deeper than a simple exchange. Gratitude is an acknowledgment of the good in one’s life. When we immerse ourselves in experiencing gratitude as opposed to a surface level expression, the experience can transform you. According to; Dr. Robert A. Ammons of the University of California, Davis, and Dr. Michael E. McCullough of the University of Miami, experts on the subject matter of gratitude; individuals who consistently write about things they are thankful for, were more optimistic and felt better. “Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgiving, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.” – Proverb Optimism is a character trait that proclaims, “something good is going to happen”. It’s the product of positive emotions such as gratitude. Your emotions influence your sense of gratitude and gratitude influences your emotions. Combined they have the power to transform your body’s chemical and neurological existence: subsequently, the creation of dopamine and serotonin are increased, amplifying and prolonging a sense of wellness, mentally and physically – a cycle of positiveness continues. Initially, your efforts might need to be intentional as you mindfully incorporate a period of gratitude into your daily activities but over time your efforts are rewarded with a new default. Through regularly practicing gratitude, we can actually change our neural pathways in our brains. Over time, your former default setting, which may have been self-defeating negative thoughts become the less desired path for your brain to use. This can reduce anxiety and depression and produce a sustainable and more resilient new version of your mind The effect of gratitude on the brain is long-lasting (Moll, Zahn, et al. 2007). Gratitude helps release negative emotions; gratitude can reduce emotional and physical pain. In the Counting Blessings vs Burdens (2003), a study on the effect of gratitude on the body, 16% of people who kept a gratitude journal reported a reduction in physical pain. Gratitude can improve emotional resilience by helping us to notice the positive things in life. When this occurs negative ruminations are exchanged for optimism. To seek reasons to be grateful, even when things are tough, helps us accept the past and present so we are better able to take on the future with a clear mind. Here are a few ways you can get started: Keep a daily gratitude journal. Give yourself and others compliments as an expression of appreciation. Reach out to someone who you feel grateful for and express that gratitude to them or send them an email or text. Write a post it note of things you are grateful for and leave them around your house to see. Meditate and pray about that which you are grateful for. Select a time each day and set a reminder to look around and choose three things you are grateful for. Create gratitude lists. Look at any item and describe it to yourself with a sense of appreciation and wonder. Eventually, progress to find something to be grateful for in every good and difficult circumstance. Now, you’re starting to build resilience through gratitude! So gratitude is truly backed with goodness for the body and mind; let’s not neglect relationships. A healthy human experience requires supportive relationships. People who express and live in gratitude are enjoyable to be around – that’s reason enough to be grateful!
7 Ways To Improve Distress Tolerance
7 Ways To Improve Distress Tolerance The ability to manage one’s emotional state in response to stress-inducing factors is what is called distress tolerance. Some people can encounter incredibly stressful situations and remain calm and composed; taking a logical approach to manage a situation and then move beyond the situation and resume where they left off before the intrusion. This is a wonderful character trait that is part of genetics, how they were raised, their present circumstance, and good mental health conditioning. Trauma survivors, individuals with PTSD, CPTSD, and borderline personality disorder can be more sensitive to stressors in their life, especially when they can not predict them. For me, it tends to be when I perceive that I have disappointed someone and so my danger system kicks in; I get a jolt of adrenaline, and my fight, flight, faun response takes over. It’s most common for me to want to flee the situation. I do this in two ways; physically and mentally. I want to leave the situation, person, space, and be alone and I can, at times completely blackout for a few moments. To someone who doesn’t live with the impact of developmental trauma like I do, this can seem like an extreme response, but to those who fight a mental health battle every day, this is intrusive and impacts our ability to function in our everyday lives. There are some tried and true approaches to improving the management of these responses which even the healthiest person can benefit from and here are 7 of my favorite. Time-Outs Remember when you were a child and you were given a time-out to compose yourself, well, we never outgrew out of that need, and yet we often do not take the restorative break. After all, we somehow think we always have too much to do. Even a few minutes of quiet in the midst of a hectic day can reset your system enough to improve your ability to emotionally manage the next challenge that comes your way. I now take breaks, even when I don’t think I need them. I plan dates out and fun activities so I have something to look forward to and when I know my nervous system has just been activated, I find a reason to take a break and go for a walk, sit still and meditate, pray or do anything which nurtures me and gives me space from my day or the provoking situation. Consider setting an appointment on your calendar with a personal reminder to take a break every few hours. Focus on Your Personal Values Every organization takes time to establish the values they wish to base their decisions on. It’s quite powerful for you to do the same. Write your values down and put them somewhere that you can see them every day; this will help you stay focused on what matters most to you. The other thing to keep in mind is that what you value may not be what someone else values; thus allowing you to be you and others to be who they are. Finally, try to act on these values, at least supporting one each day. Start today by writing out 3 things that you feel should steer your value-based decisions and place and place them on your fridge. Practice Safe-Place Visualization This is a form of meditation and is very easy to do and not very time consuming but can improve your ability to tolerate stress in a powerful way; Relax and be mindfully aware of your breathing Engage your imagination by thinking about a safe place – it can be real or imaginary. Use your imagination and build a scene in your mind of what you see, hear, and maybe what you might be able to touch. Make it as peaceful and calm as possible. Stay there for 5 minutes. This can be done pretty much anywhere, is not intrusive to anyone else, and can improve your stress tolerance and even improve your overall mental performance. I like to use my scheduled break times (as above). Relax Using Soothing Sounds Calming music and sounds from nature, such as a babbling brook or birds chirping have been proven to calm the nervous system. Scientists now know that our body responds to calm music and sounds in a variety of ways; hormones are released to induce a sense of well being, your heart rate and blood pressure drop, muscle tension eases, breathing can become slower. My go-to is a little smooth jazz but to each their own.1 But when music is unavailable I seem to always find a bird this time of year to listen to. Distract Your Thoughts I remember when my daughter was young and I needed to take her for her vaccine. The best way to get through the distressing situation for her and I was to find a distraction. We would talk about something unrelated to the needle she was about to get; point out stuff in the room, count to 3, or play imagination games – you get the idea. so next time your mind goes to the negative side or becomes anxious, intentionally distract yourself. Do Something Pleasurable It sounds easy; live a little, enjoy life, have some fun! Today I challenge you to make a list of activities you enjoy, once enjoyed, or would like to try. By committing to do something pleasurable every day you boost feel-good chemicals in your body such as dopamine and serotonin. Now take out your calendar and actually schedule these activities in. Enjoy! Oh, that’s the idea. Scents Make Sense Oh, you have to forgive my play on words – I can get carried away. Face it, good smells make you feel good and pungent smells can make you want to vomit. In a world where most public places have a scent-free policy, I sneak it. I keep my favorite hand lotion in my purse