Thank you to everyone who attended our 10th Annual Transforming Trauma Conference. Here are some of the successes achieved at this year’s event! 239 unique participants (with 139 of these attending more than two sessions during the week!) Most participants attending via computer (226) vs. Phone (13) 14 webinars delivered featuring 26 guest speakers in total- Webinar with highest registration and attendance was coping strategies led by registered psychotherapists and mindfulness/yoga practitioners with 110 attendees online. 13 of the webinars were live streamed to The Gatehouse Facebook and YouTube social pages. Most viewed session was the Survivors Stories Panel with over 574 views on Facebook as of Nov. 30, 2020 Attendees from Canada, United States of America, Peru, Portugal, Republic of Korea, Philippines and India 1700 unique visitors to our Website: thegatehouse.org Social post reach – organic 1,995 during conference week 13 of the 14 webinars were streamed to our YouTube channel at YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/GatehouseThe or on our Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/TheGatehouseChildAbuseInvestigationSupportSite Feel free to share these links on your social media feed! Your sharing helps others find their voice. Read Full conference Here! Thank you to our dedicated Staff Team: Stephanie Alves, Maria Barcelos and Paula Cordeiro Thank you to our dedicated Student Team: Karen, Brandon, Adam and Jasmine! Special thanks to our social media and marketing communications volunteer: Sherry Slejska Thank you to our wonderful presenters: Alex Shendelman, Andrea Robin Skinner, Arthur Lockhart, Avdeep Bahra, Brad Hutchinson, Catherine Jun, Catherine Morningstar, Charmaine Loverin, Cynthia Bland, Daniella Zarubica, Deb Maybury, Ian Kelly, John Nikas, Kaitlyn Axelrod, Lacey Ford, Lindsay Lobb, Lucie Bruneau, Maria Barcelos, Nicola Coles, Paula Cordeiro, Sarah Choujounian, Shamsa Iqbal, Sheri Jackson, Stefan Horodeckyj, Stephanie Alves, and Stewart Thompson. Thank you to our supporting agencies and their representative speakers: Voice Found, RCMP, Sheena’s Place, Distress Centres of Greater Toronto, Full Circle Art Therapy Centre, Canadian Centre for Child Protection. Thank you to the Department of Justice – Victims and Survivors of Crime Week – Victims Fund! This event was funded by the Victims Fund, a grants and contributions program administered by the Department of Justice Canada. Funds are available to provinces, territories and non-governmental organizations for programs and services that give victims and survivors of crime a more effective voice in the criminal justice system. For more information about the Victims Fund, please visit: http://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/cj-jp/victims-victimes/For more information on Victims and Survivors of Crime Week, visit: www.victimsweek.gc.ca
Loverin’s Law
Loverin’s Law Charmaine Loverin is a Mom, Peer Facilitator, Mental Health Advocate and soon to be Author of her autobiography. For the past several years, Charmaine has dedicated her energy to petitioning the Ontario Government to put forth Loverin’s Law. This legislative process has not been easy, despite all the challenges she has been through, she kept moving forward to ensure that this becomes a reality. She needs your support today. Please DM Charmaine on Facebook to sign the petition.
Gratitude for Your Body & Brain
Gratitude for Your Body & Brain By Sherry Slejska Gratitude; a feeling of appreciation and one which good parents are quick to teach their children at a young age. While it might be the culturally appropriate auto reply we use to follow a welcomed exchange, it’s far deeper than a simple exchange. Gratitude is an acknowledgment of the good in one’s life. When we immerse ourselves in experiencing gratitude as opposed to a surface level expression, the experience can transform you. According to; Dr. Robert A. Ammons of the University of California, Davis, and Dr. Michael E. McCullough of the University of Miami, experts on the subject matter of gratitude; individuals who consistently write about things they are thankful for, were more optimistic and felt better. “Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgiving, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.” – Proverb Optimism is a character trait that proclaims, “something good is going to happen”. It’s the product of positive emotions such as gratitude. Your emotions influence your sense of gratitude and gratitude influences your emotions. Combined they have the power to transform your body’s chemical and neurological existence: subsequently, the creation of dopamine and serotonin are increased, amplifying and prolonging a sense of wellness, mentally and physically – a cycle of positiveness continues. Initially, your efforts might need to be intentional as you mindfully incorporate a period of gratitude into your daily activities but over time your efforts are rewarded with a new default. Through regularly practicing gratitude, we can actually change our neural pathways in our brains. Over time, your former default setting, which may have been self-defeating negative thoughts become the less desired path for your brain to use. This can reduce anxiety and depression and produce a sustainable and more resilient new version of your mind The effect of gratitude on the brain is long-lasting (Moll, Zahn, et al. 2007). Gratitude helps release negative emotions; gratitude can reduce emotional and physical pain. In the Counting Blessings vs Burdens (2003), a study on the effect of gratitude on the body, 16% of people who kept a gratitude journal reported a reduction in physical pain. Gratitude can improve emotional resilience by helping us to notice the positive things in life. When this occurs negative ruminations are exchanged for optimism. To seek reasons to be grateful, even when things are tough, helps us accept the past and present so we are better able to take on the future with a clear mind. Here are a few ways you can get started: Keep a daily gratitude journal. Give yourself and others compliments as an expression of appreciation. Reach out to someone who you feel grateful for and express that gratitude to them or send them an email or text. Write a post it note of things you are grateful for and leave them around your house to see. Meditate and pray about that which you are grateful for. Select a time each day and set a reminder to look around and choose three things you are grateful for. Create gratitude lists. Look at any item and describe it to yourself with a sense of appreciation and wonder. Eventually, progress to find something to be grateful for in every good and difficult circumstance. Now, you’re starting to build resilience through gratitude! So gratitude is truly backed with goodness for the body and mind; let’s not neglect relationships. A healthy human experience requires supportive relationships. People who express and live in gratitude are enjoyable to be around – that’s reason enough to be grateful!
The Gatehouse: Transformation or Adult Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse
The Gatehouse: Transformation for Adult Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse By Stefan Horodeckyj, former group facilitator and former Director at The Gatehouse What is The Gatehouse? The Gatehouse, founded in 1998 by Professor Arthur Lockhart, is a unique community-based centre in Toronto that provides supports, resources, and advocacy on behalf of those impacted by childhood sexual abuse. It offers, among other things, three types of adult peer – support group programs: a phase1 peer- support group program for male survivors, and a phase 1 peer – support group program for female survivors; a co-educational phase 2 peer- support group program and an advanced co-educational phase 3 peer- support group program. The goal of these programs is to provide a forum where survivors can heal from the devastating trauma of childhood sexual abuse. In this article, I will focus on Phase 1, adult peer-support group programs. What is Childhood Sexual Abuse? Childhood sexual abuse “is the misuse of power by someone who is in authority over a child for the purpose of exploiting a child for sexual gratification. It includes incest, sexual molestation, sexual assault, and the exploitation of the child for pornography or prostitution”. (Rogers, 1990) The Gatehouse adult peer-support group program The seven principles of The Gatehouse adult peer-support group program are resilience, self-care, mutuality, encouragement, respect, safety, and responsibility. And, the topics discussed in Phase 1 peer-support group program include: from isolation to belonging; triggers; dissociation; flashbacks to grounding; anger and emotional regulation; addictions and relationship to abuse; the ‘inner child’; loss and grief; positive boundaries; shame and guilt; resiliency and the sacred path; and sexuality. Benefits of The Gatehouse Peer-Support Group Program At The Gatehouse, healing through the Phase 1 peer-support group occurs in three major ways: by addressing the emotional needs of the survivors; by teaching survivors important social skills, relaxation, and self-care coping techniques/tips; and by providing survivors with important information about childhood sexual abuse and support services contacts. The Gatehouse addresses the emotional needs of survivors The survivor has a need to feel empathy from others. Empathy means that other members, including the facilitators, show respect, caring, and compassion for you, as they walk with you on your healing journey. Empathy also comes from feeling safe in the presence of the other group members and by trusting them with your life story and feelings. The survivor has a need for empathic listening from others in the group. This means that others should: give their undivided attention; be non-judgmental; read the speaker (ie: observe the emotions behind the words); and not feel that they should have an immediate reply to questions and comments presented. The survivor has a need to have their “voice” heard. This is paramount since the voice is one of the first things that a child sexually abused is deprived of by the perpetrator. A survivor finding their voice means no more silence, secrecy, shame, and self-blame. This is the power of one’s voice! Finding one’s voice means that the survivor can express their feeling of anger, grief, shame, guilt, fears, and hopes. The survivor has a need to trust others. This is vital since trust is what the survivor had violently breached by the perpetrator, who is often someone they know. The survivor has a need to be connected. This is one of the basic human needs. Healthy connections with others define who we are, and provide us with emotional sustenance. The survivor has a need to feel safe. Peer-support groups that are experienced by participants as being emotionally non-threatening, provide the basis for developing trust and empathy, and a venue where survivors can find their voice. The survivor has a need to connect to the “inner child”. The inner child is the authentic or real self. In order to heal from childhood sexual abuse, the grownup adult must connect with the inner child’s fears, anger, pain, and sadness, and then to provide love and understanding to the inner child. The survivor has a need to feel self-empowered. This can occur when the survivor has positive self-esteem. When survivors realize that they are the best ones to ascertain their own needs and that they are not responsible for, or defined by their childhood sexual abuse, then they can bolster their self-esteem and become more self-empowered. Some survivors have a need to forgive the perpetrator. By doing so, they release negative feelings and energy that can impede their emotional healing. The survivor has a need to feel hope. Hope is achieved by realizing that healing from childhood sexual abuse is possible. Healing is a process that evolves in the group and continues outside of the group setting. The Gatehouse teaches survivors important social skills, relaxation techniques, and self-care coping skills/tips The Gatehouse provides a forum where survivors can learn and practice effective communication skills with other group members. As well, it provides a place where survivors can practice healthy personal boundaries with the other group members. Also, it provides a venue where the survivor can establish and practice respect and empathy for other group members. The Gatehouse teaches relaxation techniques such as grounding and breathing exercises and mindful meditation. Also, The Gatehouse teaches self-care coping skills/tips including ways of dealing with triggers/anger/grief/forgiving and personal boundaries. The Gatehouse provides survivors with important information about childhood sexual abuse and support services contacts Some of the information shared with participants by the facilitators during the group sessions includes stages of recovery; myths and facts about sexual abuse; common symptoms of sexual abuse; the relationship between anger, grieving, shame and guilt, addictions and childhood sexual abuse; suggestions for dealing with one’s sexuality; and instructions and suggestions on how to create a suicide safety plan. The facilitators provide participants with a list of addiction services available and a list of emotional/psychological support services available in the GTA. By way of a summary, the transformative nature of The Gatehouse Phase1, adult peer-support group program is succinctly captured in the testimony of a survivor who completed this program:
7 Ways To Improve Distress Tolerance
7 Ways To Improve Distress Tolerance The ability to manage one’s emotional state in response to stress-inducing factors is what is called distress tolerance. Some people can encounter incredibly stressful situations and remain calm and composed; taking a logical approach to manage a situation and then move beyond the situation and resume where they left off before the intrusion. This is a wonderful character trait that is part of genetics, how they were raised, their present circumstance, and good mental health conditioning. Trauma survivors, individuals with PTSD, CPTSD, and borderline personality disorder can be more sensitive to stressors in their life, especially when they can not predict them. For me, it tends to be when I perceive that I have disappointed someone and so my danger system kicks in; I get a jolt of adrenaline, and my fight, flight, faun response takes over. It’s most common for me to want to flee the situation. I do this in two ways; physically and mentally. I want to leave the situation, person, space, and be alone and I can, at times completely blackout for a few moments. To someone who doesn’t live with the impact of developmental trauma like I do, this can seem like an extreme response, but to those who fight a mental health battle every day, this is intrusive and impacts our ability to function in our everyday lives. There are some tried and true approaches to improving the management of these responses which even the healthiest person can benefit from and here are 7 of my favorite. Time-Outs Remember when you were a child and you were given a time-out to compose yourself, well, we never outgrew out of that need, and yet we often do not take the restorative break. After all, we somehow think we always have too much to do. Even a few minutes of quiet in the midst of a hectic day can reset your system enough to improve your ability to emotionally manage the next challenge that comes your way. I now take breaks, even when I don’t think I need them. I plan dates out and fun activities so I have something to look forward to and when I know my nervous system has just been activated, I find a reason to take a break and go for a walk, sit still and meditate, pray or do anything which nurtures me and gives me space from my day or the provoking situation. Consider setting an appointment on your calendar with a personal reminder to take a break every few hours. Focus on Your Personal Values Every organization takes time to establish the values they wish to base their decisions on. It’s quite powerful for you to do the same. Write your values down and put them somewhere that you can see them every day; this will help you stay focused on what matters most to you. The other thing to keep in mind is that what you value may not be what someone else values; thus allowing you to be you and others to be who they are. Finally, try to act on these values, at least supporting one each day. Start today by writing out 3 things that you feel should steer your value-based decisions and place and place them on your fridge. Practice Safe-Place Visualization This is a form of meditation and is very easy to do and not very time consuming but can improve your ability to tolerate stress in a powerful way; Relax and be mindfully aware of your breathing Engage your imagination by thinking about a safe place – it can be real or imaginary. Use your imagination and build a scene in your mind of what you see, hear, and maybe what you might be able to touch. Make it as peaceful and calm as possible. Stay there for 5 minutes. This can be done pretty much anywhere, is not intrusive to anyone else, and can improve your stress tolerance and even improve your overall mental performance. I like to use my scheduled break times (as above). Relax Using Soothing Sounds Calming music and sounds from nature, such as a babbling brook or birds chirping have been proven to calm the nervous system. Scientists now know that our body responds to calm music and sounds in a variety of ways; hormones are released to induce a sense of well being, your heart rate and blood pressure drop, muscle tension eases, breathing can become slower. My go-to is a little smooth jazz but to each their own.1 But when music is unavailable I seem to always find a bird this time of year to listen to. Distract Your Thoughts I remember when my daughter was young and I needed to take her for her vaccine. The best way to get through the distressing situation for her and I was to find a distraction. We would talk about something unrelated to the needle she was about to get; point out stuff in the room, count to 3, or play imagination games – you get the idea. so next time your mind goes to the negative side or becomes anxious, intentionally distract yourself. Do Something Pleasurable It sounds easy; live a little, enjoy life, have some fun! Today I challenge you to make a list of activities you enjoy, once enjoyed, or would like to try. By committing to do something pleasurable every day you boost feel-good chemicals in your body such as dopamine and serotonin. Now take out your calendar and actually schedule these activities in. Enjoy! Oh, that’s the idea. Scents Make Sense Oh, you have to forgive my play on words – I can get carried away. Face it, good smells make you feel good and pungent smells can make you want to vomit. In a world where most public places have a scent-free policy, I sneak it. I keep my favorite hand lotion in my purse
My Inner Child Helped Me Heal
*Trigger Warning My Inner Child Helped Me To Heal The memories of my abuse are fractured, like a mirror shattered into a billion pieces. How many times did it happen? I don’t know. How old was I when it started? I don’t remember. But my most vivid memory is when I am nine, I think. I am in my cousin’s bedroom and my uncle is in the bed. I have no idea why I am even in the room or how I got there. I have spent years ruminating and wondering about this. Did I follow him? Did he tell me to come? My brain will not answer this question. I am staring out the window watching my parents laugh with my aunt. They are completely unaware of what is about to happen to their daughter. My sisters and my cousin are swimming in the pool. My uncle tells me to come over to the bed and I do. The abuse begins just as a train whistles in the distance. To this day, train whistles always remind me of him. When the abuse is over, I am not terrified. I am not sad. In fact, I feel special. I feel like what has happened is completely normal. I am too young to even comprehend what has happened was abuse. And finally. Tragically for years afterward, I will unknowingly and innocently seek this feeling out, however, and whenever I can. My first flashback occurred when I was 19. I was flipping through a bible and came across a verse that said anyone who engages in perverse sexual acts is condemned to hell. At that moment, everything comes rushing back to me. Emotions, visions, thoughts, memories. I am terrified. I begin to panic and have what I now know was the first of many emotional flashbacks. I stop eating. I stop sleeping. My mom asks me what is wrong. I don’t tell her. She takes me to the doctor. I don’t tell him. Instead, I will keep these memories locked deep inside of me where no one will ever find them. I will become a perfectionist because this is my way of controlling the soul-crushing shame that threatens to destroy me every day. I go to university. Get a job. Get married. The memories haunt me but this only makes me push them further away. When I am 35, I discover alcohol. At first, I have a couple of glasses of wine after the kids go to bed. Soon my drinking escalates. Within a two-year period, I am a full-blown (functioning) alcoholic. I work during the day, come home, and start drinking while making dinner. Rye, wine, vodka……it doesn’t matter…..anything to obliterate the self-hatred and memories. One night as I sleep on the couch, my then 7-year-old daughter gently shakes me and asks me if I am okay. I am confused so I ask her why. She tells me that I had fallen down the stairs that night and is afraid I might be hurt. I don’t remember falling. My 7-year-old daughter is checking on her mother in the middle of the night. My life is spinning out of control. I want to die. I have finally hit my bottom. I check myself into rehab where I am introduced to A.A. I cling to this program because I know my life depends on it. To this day, I am almost nine years clean. When I am about a year sober, I meet a psychiatrist who will become one of the greatest teachers in my life. He is not your typical shrink….he does talk therapy and just happens to specialize in childhood trauma. I am diagnosed with Complex-PTSD. ( In addition to my sexual abuse, I was also physically abused and emotionally neglected as a child). Huh. So I am not crazy after all. I don’t have various forms of mental illness. Instead, I was abused and the fallout was developing C-PTSD. This man gently takes my hand and every single week we examine my abuse. My NORMAL reactions to it. How the brain responds to abuse. He is the first person to teach me about inner child work and he challenges me to face the younger parts of myself that I think are “bad” and that I despise. Slowly, as I peel the back the layers I find that kid that I buried so long ago. Guess what? She is lovely. Innocent. Pure. The fractured parts of my soul begin to come together and they form the most beautiful mosaic. In psychiatric terms, this is called integration. Although I am somewhat healed, I tell my doctor that I wish I could meet other survivors and this is how I find The Gatehouse. It is at The Gatehouse that I find a tribe of women who finally speak the same language I do, who have felt the same feelings, and who are on the same healing journey. To this day, they are still my people. I now facilitate groups at The Gatehouse, which I absolutely love. I am still, and always will be, learning and healing. Recently, I published my first book entitled Hiking The Mountain in Flip-Flops. It talks about my healing journey, including The Gatehouse, and focuses on inner child work. It was written in the hopes that it will help someone who is suffering the soul torturing pain we all endure as survivors of childhood sexual trauma. Now, when I look back on my life, I don’t think I would change anything. Too much good has come out of something so horrible. I am unbelievably grateful that the universe gave me the strength to uncover and meet that little shame-filled, terrified child within me…..because strangely, it was HER who ended up being the one to heal ME.
Peer Support Means Journeying with One Another
Peer Support Means Journeying with One Another I was in the car driving when my phone rang, it was one of the group members in my peer support group that I attend at The Gatehouse. I answered the call since I was alone, and the call went directly to Bluetooth. Before I could speak, I heard her voice and her feelings poured out like a river of pain. She was crying and I knew all too well what state of mind she must be in as I too have been there and will likely visit that dark and lonely place of torture again. She was having an emotional flashback. As my fellow traveler on the journey of healing would describe it, “I am so filled with guilt and shame.” I started to shed silent tears and soon composed myself as I wanted and needed to be there for her. “Breathe,” I said. “You know what to do. A big belly breath in and slow and steady out.” (Breathing is so important to help your sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system become balanced once again). She started to calm. “What are you seeing, smelling, hearing?” (This, we call grounding and helps someone in distress move away from their emotions so they can compose themselves and think logically. This reduces the impact and shortens the emotional flashback). I allowed her a few moments while I danced around traffic but reminded her that I am here for her and that she is not alone. I told her that she is loved. “ She sobbed quietly over the phone and I heard her moan, “I was so little.” “Yes you were”, I said. Then I asked her if that little preschool girl could possibly be responsible for what she was subject to at that age?” She said, “no, no she’s not”. “So, does she deserve the guilt and shame?” Calm arrived and we both exchanged words of gratitude, encouragement, and compassion. When a child experiences such a trauma, a person can relive all of the emotional and physical feelings. For years we exist, not knowing why overwhelming feelings can consume us. Understanding how the trauma impacts us can help us address each of the symptoms and as a community, we support one another to find the healing we have longed for. The Gatehouse staff and volunteers are trained in a variety of therapeutic techniques which use to empower the program participants; we, in turn, become equipped to manage ourselves and support one another’s healing journey. Once we experience a taste of healing, we crave it more, and eventually, the confident, compassionate, whole-person that we were always meant to be is given life. Healing allows us to love ourselves, and others.
Trauma Impacts The Body & Mind
Trauma Impacts The Body & Mind I had unusual physical symptoms for more than a decade that no medical professional was able to diagnose. In 2005 when my first son was born I started to experience unusual symptoms such as intense, unusual fatigue, left-sided headaches, tingling in my left hand and foot, mild balance and perceptual difficulties, attention, and memory problems to name a few. For years I saw specialists, had MRIs and follow-ups all to be told: “there’s nothing wrong with you”. I came to believe that this was simply the exhaustion from motherhood. In 2012 the fatigue was worsening, so started working with a biofeedback specialist/practitioner and began a regular meditation and tai chi practice. 2013 was probably the best year I’d had in years! I felt calmer, had more energy, felt mentally more clear, more present, and connected to my sons – I had another son in 2008! I was enjoying my work at a local hospital too and appreciating social connections. However, symptoms started to worsen again making it difficult to do day to day activities such as housework, parenting, and work. Yet I continued to struggle in silence and alone, not telling anyone how difficult things were. In 2014 after more than a year of working with my practitioner and doing my daily practices, images of an uncle started to appear. At first, they felt pleasant and welcoming. However, as the months continued these feelings would switch to feelings of confusion and discomfort. I started to wonder if something inappropriate had happened with him when I was a child growing up in Kenya, East Africa. But it made no sense to me – how could I completely have forgotten something like that? “This art at Gatehouse caught my eye many years ago and now it makes so much sense. I suffered alone and in silence for way too long – I do not want others to ever suffer alone or in silence.” (Left) Yet in hindsight, I also see I have very little memories of my childhood and that it is very normal to forget. It’s a survival response. It took a full year to say to someone close to me that I trusted, “I think my uncle sexually abused me”. And then I shut down again. I couldn’t believe I’d said it out loud and in fact, didn’t want to talk about it anymore as it all felt so confusing and unclear. I came across a Gatehouse and registered for the Phase 1 Women’s Group, however dropped out even before it started. In my mind, I thought, “I’m ok, nothing wrong”. This belief was so deeply ingrained from my upbringing. This included growing up being constantly told not to allow or feel my feelings. Anger for sure was never ever allowed in my home. I plodded along on a journey that felt very lonely. I understand now that feeling alone and lonely is in fact a hallmark of trauma. I recall attending the Partners Program by Gatehouse in 2016 and watching a TED Talk by Brene Brown. It hit me so deeply how lonely I had been ALL my life. In the fall of 2016, my body finally said NO. No more avoiding, no more brushing it under the rug, no more resistance – you have to heal. The leg pain had worsened, the fatigue had worsened – to the point that as I worked with my stroke patients, I would have to sit down even before they needed to. When I made meals or washed dishes in my kitchen, my legs felt like they could only support me for 10 to 15 minutes before I needed to sit down. When my children wanted to play, I only had the endurance for short periods. They came to learn – mommy gets tired and once my younger son said, “mommy come outside and play with me, I’ll get a chair for you because I know you get tired”. This broke my heart. There was no way these health issues were going to rob me from being the mother I wanted to be. My sons were my driving force to get better and to understand what was going on with me. In December 2015 I finally ended up going on medical leave from my job and this was the second last straw that made me see I had to face childhood sexual trauma. The last straw was a concussion in April 2018! I attended Gatehouses Phase 1 and 2 programs in 2016 – they were a gift in helping me see that I am not alone. It brought awareness to how childhood sexual trauma affects us in both subtle and profound ways. Especially our sense of worth, body image, confidence, ability to speak up, have boundaries, relationships, physical health. I really started to understand why my physical symptoms started with the birth of my son. I also worked with my body through nutrition, herbal medicine, tai chi, and bodywork to process all the trauma, much of which I still did not remember in my mind. But my body did. I am currently enrolled in the Somatic Experiencing Practitioner Training program as this too was a gift in uncovering all the emotions buried deep in my body that were also causing physical symptoms as I was so unaware of them. I now live a full life, where I feel healthier, more present, happier, and more connected to others. I am the amazing mom I want to be with my sons! Many of those symptoms I struggled with for years have now lifted. I continue to listen to my body though as it often tells me when I need to slow down or look at something I may be avoiding. Gatehouse helped me become aware of how much childhood sexual trauma had affected me all my life – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. It provided a safe place in which I felt heard and understood, and
Adapting To Digital Peer Support
Adapting To Digital Peer Support To find any degree of healing is to find hope, lightness, and compassion you never thought possible. Since the start of the COVID pandemic, The Gatehouse remains committed to the healing of adult survivors impacted by childhood sexual abuse. As any organization would agree, adapting to working remotely and without personal contact has had its challenges and yet we did it, are doing it and will continue to offer the programs as long as there is a need – and I assure you, we wish there was not a need and yet there remains a great need! On July 28th, we sent out certificates to all participants who completed their program during the spring sessions, we also sent out a participant feedback survey. We wanted to share some of the findings; running sessions by Zoom seemed a near impossibility but with close monitoring and exceptional volunteer facilitators, participants reported that they really felt closer to their own healing and many groups couldn’t wait to meet each other in person. Some of the feedback we received revealed that online experiences are not for everyone; we expected that. We didn’t expect that some would thrive in an online group. Participants shared that being able to attend a group from wherever they happened to be was really convenient and added another layer of safety to an often challenging experience. The fact that there was no lengthy drive to and from the location was also valuable as many participants commute from over an hour away. We also found that some groups were more inclusive; mobility issues were a non-factor and people could take a break when they needed it, ensuring self-care was a priority. Participants reported being able to learn to read the emotions on people’s faces since most participants were able to be in view of all. This allowed people to pause long enough to extend the emotional support needed before moving along. Of course, there are challenges; there is no substitute for in-person compassion and signs of comfort such as a hug or passing the tissue box to wipe tears. There are varying levels of comfort with technology and at times it was too easy for some participants to disengage from the group without the accountability which comes with being in the physical presence of others. In addition, the absence of some healthy socializing and sharing of some of its pleasantries often enjoyed at break time was missed. Even though our programs were required to go digital, we have seen incredible healing and we are so proud of the high level of commitment participants and volunteers have shown – a testament to the courage survivors of childhood sexual abuse have. Moving forward; we will continue to offer all programs online until we can once again offer in-person groups at our Etobicoke location. At which time, we hope to offer the option of online or in-person or a highbred version. We also hope to expand the territory we can offer healing to as online sessions will make this possible. If you have any questions about our programs or how we put your financial donation to work, please contact us. Thank you to everyone who takes on the incredible journey of healing and to all of our donors and volunteers who make it possible.
The Body Keeps The Score Book Review
Review of The Body Keeps the Score; by Bessel van der Kolk As one of the world’s top experts on traumatic stress, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, helps the reader understand how trauma impacts and changes the mind and body of the affected. He then unfolds the progression of research and treatment; helping the reader appreciate that the trauma survivor’s brain changes and their body can be significantly impacted, amplifying the suffering of the individual. The information is presented in a slightly more academic approach than some readers may be comfortable with; but if you are interested in truly understanding what is going on in the the brain, nervous system, chemistry of the body and how symptoms can be treated, your investment in time to read this book will be incredibly helpful for your pursuit of healing. For those who support trauma survivors; the insights will help you not only appreciate the extent of suffering a survivor can experience, but you will be better equipped to help liberate those you care about. The book initially goes into the impact of trauma on military veterans but doesn’t focus exclusively on that, so don’t put the book down – there is lots of nuggets to help the Childhood Sexual Abuse Survivor and developmental trauma is well addressed. The following covers some of my own personal takeaways from his book, I share them with you and encourage you to read the book to fully explore how it applies uniquely to you. Trauma Causes Agonizing Guilt & Shame Bessel writes about how those who experience extreme forms of trauma; the kind soldiers might experience; domestic abuse survivors and child abuse survivors are subject to; they all seem to be weighed down by deep guilt and shame. These feelings stem from what they may have done, or not done to prevent the trauma they experienced. The Gatehouse Phase 1 program delves into this; helping the peer groups to understand that the guilt and shame is not theirs to own. This is transforming for the participant and opens one up for self compassion; a critical step towards healing deep emotional wounds. Trauma Changes The Brain MRI scans of the brains of trauma survivors provide clear evidence that the trauma survivors’ brain shows considerable differences when compared to a normal healthy brain. In some cases, early childhood trauma can even prevent critical areas of the brain to fully develop. It’s common for a CSA survivor to have neural pathways which fast track to the emotional brain (limbic system) rather than filtering thoughts through the thinking brain (cognitive ). Essentially, PTSD & CPTSD are the result of actual brain injuries. Phase 2 of the Gatehouse program further dives into the neuroscience of this and how we can embrace the power of the brain’s own plasticity to support the healing of the brain. Trauma Changes The Nervous System Contrary to popular belief, trauma is not all in your head; it impacts your parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous system which regulates the physical sensations around the flight, fight, or freeze response PTSD sufferers typically have a challenge regulating. The vagus nerve is another critical system which controls areas in your body. Your trachea, esophagus, pancreas, liver, colon, stomach are among some of the more well known body parts which are severely impacted by trauma. Trauma Is Treatable After exploring the many impacts of trauma, Bessel shares what scientists have learned about management of symptoms and promoting healing. He gives the reader hope of a better future; sharing how yoga, mindfulness, meditation, music, art can all promote new neural pathways, better regulations of the nervous system. He also shares the promising results of therapeutic use of neurofeedback to train brain waves to better serve the individuals need for emotional and physical regulation. Building a Trauma-Conscious Society Dr. Bessel van der Kolf concludes his book, The Body Keeps The Score with a message of hope; nearly everyday new information is learned about the traumatized brain and how it can be repaired. Society is learning to accept that trauma is not the fault of the victim but does have consequences to the society as a whole. Until the day comes that there is a clear path to healing; I say, let’s fold the healing into our life journey. Making our story of trauma and road to recovery be a motivator to others to be active in the prevention and healing. Click the link below to purchase this book on Amazon.