Celebrating 25 Years of Service: The Gatehouse’s Impact on Healing and Empowering Survivors – Since June 20, 1998 Photos by David Hou Photography IG david_hou_photography- All photos  available on our Fakebook Page  Saturday, June 24th, 2023 – The Gatehouse commemorated 25 years of dedicated service. The Gatehouse www.thegatehouse.org stands as a beacon of hope and healing, transforming the lives of individuals impacted by childhood sexual abuse. Our unwavering commitment to our vision and mission has allowed us to create a future where survivors can reclaim their voices and find solace in a supportive community. One of our core objectives has been to provide a range of both formal and informal support and outreach. Through our online and in-person programming, we have created an inclusive healing environment for survivors, offering a safe place to share their stories and begin the journey towards healing; ensuring that survivors have access to the support they need, no matter where they are in Canada. Collaboration and partnerships have been vital to expanding our service capacity. By forging partnerships with like-minded agencies locally, nationally, and internationally, we have strengthened our impact including most recently the establishment of the Survivors Council of Canada, being represented in a World Health Organization by  Gatehouse staff member Stewart Thompson whose story was featured in ISPCAN CSA/ WHO 2021Documentary: Adult Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse/Sexual Violence Tell Their Stories: https://youtu.be/69AdLCg-NuA We extend our gratitude to all the volunteers who were here in 1998 when it all began with a single person sharing their story with Arthur Lockhart, The Gatehouse Founder. We extend our gratitude to those volunteers, donors and supporters who said yes, we will show up, we will ask for support, we will stay up to 2am laying carpet, and painting the walls. Over the past 25 years, The Gatehouse has been part of three transformational documentary films: “Into the Light,” Produced by Blair Locke, “Illuminating Silence,” by James Buffin and “5 Steps – The Gatehouse” by Blair Locke. These films raise awareness, educate communities, and amplify the voices of survivors. “Into the Light” showcases the first ever example of male survivors’ resilience and healing. “Illuminating Silence” confronts taboos and encourages dialogue on local, national, and international level. “5 Steps” provides a roadmap for healing and the impact of our work from the voices of survivors themselves who have experienced our life-affirming peer support programs. These films have sparked conversations, challenged norms, and inspired action. They are catalysts for change, empowering survivors and advocating for a more empathetic society. As we celebrate 25 years of service, we commend these films as powerful tools to educate, foster empathy, and support survivors on their healing journey. As we reflect on 25 years of service, we acknowledge the resilience of survivors and the unwavering support of our dedicated staff, volunteers, placement students, sponsors, donors, supporters and community partners. The Gatehouse’s legacy of healing and empowerment will continue to flourish, creating a brighter future for all those impacted by childhood sexual abuse.  On Saturday June 24, 2023, we acknowledged the energy of all that have made The Gatehouse a truly special place. A tree was planted to celebrate this wonderful occasion. Thank you to Stewart, Lloyd, Rob, Joe, Diane and all the amazing volunteers who are helping with the healing garden. Thank you to Lia Antonova, Dama Event Management for collaborating with Sheridan Nurseries who donated this beautiful tree that will flourish with all the good energy in the Healing Garden at The Gatehouse for all future generations to enjoy. 

The Gatehouse is hosting an outdoor art workshop in collaboration with Full Circle Art Therapy Centre. This is a free workshop, all materials provided, snacks provided. Max 30 participants. Please register using the link below.   Partners:  Full Circle- ATC & The Gatehouse Program Name: Creating Art in the Healing Garden Group Details: See breakdown below Location:  The Gatehouse Healing Garden 3101 Lake Shore Blvd W., Toronto, ON, M8V3W8 Date:  Friday July 21, 2023 Time: 2PM to 4PM Group Intention: Giving persons a space to connect with each other through art making, nature, and storytelling Group Description: This art event is for persons looking to connect with others through art making and nature. Participants will be guided through mindful and creative exercises by Ashtyn Ford who is a registered art therapist, while connecting with nature through the natural setting of the healing garden at the Gatehouse. No prior art making experience is required to join, all levels of experience are welcome 🙂   Art Materials: -Acrylic Paints -Paint pallets, paint brushes, cups of water, paper towel -Canvases -Markers and pastels -Paper -Aprons Event flow: 2:00-2:20 Starting with introductions facilitators and participants 2:20-2:40 Mindfulness art exercise (warm up exercise) 2:40-3:15 Main art exercise/painting 3:15-3:45 Break for snacks/tea/coffee 3:45-4:00 Group shares Registration is required. Max 30 participants. Please register using the link below. All art materials are provided. Snacks provided.  https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdXhlo7io08GnPj0XYvyQdO0L-KeVi-WeNI8LyoQXXFE2UFAg/viewform?usp=sf_link  

Good day everyone, We are excited to offer programs in the Garden this summer! Each program has a separate registration form.  Program 1: Mindfulness in the Garden  Dates: All Wednesdays on June 7, 14, 21, 28 All Wednesdays on July 5, 12, 19, 26  The following Wednesdays August 23, and 30  Time: 11 am to 12 pm  Location: The Gatehouse Healing Garden  Registration required. Fill out this registration form  or call Gatehouse at 416-255-5900 and ask to speak to Stewart or email Stewart@thegatehouse.org Maximum 30 participants per session Materials: Please bring a small towel Mindfulness in the Garden  Join us for mindfulness in the garden, learn and practice gentle flowing movements, guided mindfulness practices led by Brad Hutchinson. Program 2:  Social Reconnection and Self-Care  Dates: Four Mondays in July 10 to July 31, 2023 Time: 11am to 1pm Lunch: Pizza Lunch provided Registration required. Fill out this registration form or call Gatehouse at 416-255-5900 and ask to speak to Stewart or email Stewart@thegatehouse.org Maximum 30 participants Location: Healing Garden – outdoor group Description: Four-week mindfulness-based group – Meet other community members, foster social connection and share about self-care, communication and community engagement. Group members are invited to share ideas, experiences and barriers they have experienced. Garden Club Volunteers Needed Join our Garden Club! Monthly meetings, gardening and socializing. Help your local community. Join the garden volunteers today! Email Stewart Thompson at Stewart@thegatehouse.org for more information.

Knowing Your Triggers in a Digital Age  Written by: Thiviya Subramaniam, Placement Student, B.Sc.   We receive information through many modes of communication, whether that be television, the radio, billboard advertisements or regular conversations. In the digital age we live in, it is inevitable to come across media that triggers you or makes you uncomfortable. Taking care of your mind and your mental health is an important form of self-care, and this can be done by being aware of the content that may trigger you. For survivors of childhood sexual abuse (CSA), consuming content that will not re-trigger them can be an important form of self-care.   Triggers are defined as sensory reminders that can cause painful memories or symptoms to resurface (Saripalli, 2022). Triggers are unique to an individual and there is a wide range of stimuli that can trigger them (Saripalli, 2022). Therefore, it is important to know what may trigger you, and whether you would like to consume media that may lead to certain emotions and thoughts. Maybe television shows depicting certain family dynamics make you uncomfortable or seeing physical affection makes you feel uneasy. Being aware of these triggers can help you navigate your trauma at your own pace. It can allow you to work through your trauma, whether that’s through therapy, journaling, etc., and possibly re-visit the media you originally avoided at a more comfortable time.   If you come across media that triggers you, it is helpful to develop techniques that help you manage the symptoms that may emerge. For example, grounding can help an individual to focus on the present moment (Saskatoon Sexual Assault and Information Centre, n.d.). Finding techniques that work for you allows you to be well-equipped and can be beneficial for your overall wellbeing.   5-4-3-2-1 Technique for helping you to ground yourself when feeling triggered 5: Acknowledge FIVE things you see around you. It could be a painting, a design on the carpet, a tree 4: Acknowledge FOUR things you can touch around you. It could be your hair, a blanket, or the ground.  3: Acknowledge THREE things you hear. This could be any external sound. Focus on things you can hear outside of your body, for example a car driving by, people laughing or talking 2: Acknowledge TWO things you can smell. Maybe you are in your bedroom and smell your perfume, or maybe you are in your kitchen and smell coffee brewing. You can also go outside and smell fresh cut grass or flowers. 1: Acknowledge ONE thing you can taste. E.g. remnants of coffee or food that you ate (University of Rochester, 2023) References  Saripalli, V. (2022, April 28). What Are Triggers, and How Do They Form? PsychCentral. Retrieved from https://psychcentral.com/lib/what-is-a-trigger   Saskatoon Sexual Assault and Information Centre. (n.d.). Triggers: What Are They? Retrieved from https://ssaic.ca/learning-resources/triggers-what-are-they/   University of Rochester (2023). 5-4-3-2-1 Coping Technique for Anxiety. Retrieved from https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/behavioral-health-partners/bhp-blog/april-2018/5-4-3-2-1-coping-technique-for-anxiety.aspx

Avoidance of Intimacy after Trauma and Strategies to Cope  Written by: Matej Capov – Placement Student – Bachelor of Criminal Justice  Traumatic events can create some of the most complex and difficult cases of intimacy avoidance. Early childhood experience with parents or caregivers shape the primary understanding of how relationships work and if these are hijacked by abusers it can cause childhood sexual abuse (CSA) survivors to become reclusive in their relationships as a coping mechanism for feeling unsecured. Intimacy avoidance is not limited to sexuality but also includes; self-sabotage in platonic relationships, serial dating, inability to express your feelings of admiration to even your closest friends and feeling like you need to run away from those you care about to protect yourself. Humans by their very nature are gratified by intimacy, hugging your siblings, shaking hands with friends, being physically close to another. When one is no longer comfortable sharing their feelings physically it weighs very heavily on them as they try to live life to the fullest.  Relationship sabotage can be described as taking issue in problems in any relations with another; which to someone who is not a survivor may seem trivial but are done so in order to protect themselves from bad memories of intimacy. Serial dating includes often finding yourself in a series of surface level relationships in an attempt to feel connection with others but never really committing; as to avoid the uncomfortable progression of intimacy. Trauma can also come with an inability to accurately express emotions such as needs, wishes or expectations to your partner. As well as the unshakable feeling of needing to run away from your relationships in order to maintain security and peace of mind for yourself (Lukin, Dr. K, 2023; Vantagepoint, 2023).  Unlearning avoidance of intimacy is very difficult if you have lived such a traumatic experience such as that of CSA. A survivor understandably needs a lot of time to heal before they feel ready to embark on a new relationship. With support systems from understanding family, friends, professionals and social services, avoidance and fear of intimacy can be conquered through understanding, love, empathy and trusted connections (Lukin, Dr. K, 2023; Vantagepoint, 2023). Visiting a counselor is a good first step in understanding more about trauma experienced, the more you can understand your history and situation the better you will be armed to cope with it. If you found someone you can really trust and want to be with, your counselor can even work hand in hand with your partner in order to support you best (Lukin, Dr. K, 2023; Vantagepoint, 2023).  Talking directly to your partner or friend can help prevent avoidant behavior that stems from feeling unsafe. You can also arrange them to meet with your counselor to discuss skills and strategies to help you best along your journey. With time you can begin to open up to them about your needs, hopes, expectations and of course vocalizing your feelings.  (Lukin, Dr. K, 2023; Vantagepoint, 2023). A positive, healthy and functional relationship with a partner you really admire for how well you can confide and trust in them goes a long way with coping and recovering from CSA trauma. However, if you have not found that special someone yet or are still nervous to get close to somebody you can confide in, close knit friends will work the same. A consolidated relationship is not even necessary, you can practice the foundations of intimacy; friendship, understanding, support and trust with peers all around you during your healing journey (Lukin, Dr. K, 2023; Vantagepoint, 2023).   References Lukin, Dr. K. (2022). Understanding fear of intimacy and trauma: Lukin center. Lukin Center for Psychotherapy. https://www.lukincenter.com/what-is-a-fear-of-intimacy-understanding-the-effect-of-trauma-on-relationships/#:~:text=Traumatic%20events%2C%20on%20the%20other,Verbal%20abuse  Vantagepoint. (2023). Past sexual trauma affecting your relationships – vantage. Vantage Point Recovery. https://vantagepointrecovery.com/past-sexual-trauma/ 

For Partners of CSA Survivors – Healing Together  Written By: Sienna Wallwork (she/her/hers), BSc. Family & Community Social Services & Social Service Worker Diploma If you are dating someone who has experienced CSA, educating yourself about sexual violence and the aftermath is essential. Survivors often unintentionally carry their trauma, along with the accompanying feelings of shame, guilt, blame and self-loathing into their intimate relationships. This can create unique challenges in relationships and be hard on their partners, who may feel at a loss to know how to support them through their recovery.  CSA can have many effects on relationships, often impacting trust, control, safety, boundaries, and sexual functioning. Many survivors experience symptoms of PTSD, anxiety and depression, which can all take a toll on the relationship and the survivors’ partner. The healing process varies from survivor to survivor, but it is very common for things to get worse before they get better. It is common for partners of survivors to feel like a spectator, rather than a participant, in their partner’s recovery.  In relationships, the survivor may be triggered during intimacy by a wide range of stimuli including certain sounds (such as music), certain smells (cologne or perfume), a particular kind of touch or a certain tone of voice. While many survivors possess direct memories of what happened to them, they also possess body memories, which are more deeply embedded and cause the survivor to get triggered at seemingly random times. It is also common for survivors to lash out in anger during moments of intimacy, and this anger is often covering up grief and loss. The anger is not directed at the partner but rather the abuser.   Survivors often have a skewed understanding of love, and may feel like the only way to receive love is through performing sexual acts. Survivors may also feel that their only value is as a sex object, rather than a person who deserves love. This often results in feeling an intense responsibility to please their partner, often at the sacrifice of the survivors’ own well-being.  Survivors often experience a range of feelings and these can result in numbness or shutting down when triggered. This may cause the survivor to appear timid or almost entirely absent in the moment. This and showing an intense emotional reaction are both common results of the abuse they survived.  In order to support a partner who has experienced sexual abuse, it is important to be educated on sexual abuse and its’ impacts/aftermath. This is important as it creates a sense of safety and understanding in the relationship. There are many books and articles for partners of survivors, as well as support groups.  Two of the most important things to do to support your partner who survived CSA is to believe them and listen to them. Many survivors carry feelings of self-blame, as well as an intense fear of not being believed. Simply make it clear that you believe your partner, and listen to them as they share their struggles with you. It is okay to ask questions to gain a better understanding of their struggles and the support they need, but be prepared for your partner to need to take their time answering, or not feel comfortable answering some questions at all. It is also important to be careful as some questions may be triggering or upsetting. For example, questions that start with “Why did you…” or “Why didn’t you…” should be avoided, as these can contribute to survivors’ feelings of guilt and shame.  As a partner, it is also important to support your partners’ decisions in their healing process, and not try to control them. It is okay to make polite suggestions for their healing journey, but do not try to control them or shame them for not handling things the way they think they should. The healing process looks different and happens at a different pace for everyone, and this should be respected.  Recommended Reading For Partners of CSA Survivors  Allies in Healing by Laura Davis  The Body Keeps the Score: Mind, Brain and Body in the Transformation of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk  Loving Someone with PTSD: A Practical Guide to Understanding and Connecting with Your Partner after Trauma by Aphrodite T. Matsakis PhD    References  Community approach to sexual abuse & violence. Opening The Circle. (n.d.). Retrieved April 2, 2023, from http://www.openingthecircle.ca/defining-abuse/for-partners-of-survivors-of-sexual-abuse   Government of Canada. (2012, July 26). When Your Partner Was Sexually Abused as a Child. Canada.ca. Retrieved April 2, 2023, from https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/health-promotion/stop-family-violence/prevention-resource-centre/children/partner-sexually-abused-child-guide.html#Ast  

Join us at our upcoming Annual General Meeting  Thursday, June 1, 2023 4:30 pm to 5:30 pm EST ONLINE via Zoom   We are pleased to announce that the 25th Annual General Meeting (AGM) of The Gatehouse will be held on: Date: Thursday, June 1, 2023 Time: 4:30 PM – 5:30 PM Location: ONLINE via Zoom Registration is required. Please register in advance for this meeting by clicking this link and completing the brief form: https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZMkceitqDIjGdznfIrNKAYgXg2cPdr6AtM3   After registering, you will receive a confirmation email containing the Zoom link information to join the meeting. Agenda: Call to Order Approval of Minutes from the Previous AGM Treasurer’s Financial Report – Review and Vote on Audited Financial Statements Appointment of the Auditor Executive Directors Report Election of Board Members Other Business: Ontario Not-for-Profit Corporations Act [ONCA] Update – Members will be receiving some documents pertaining to this item via email in the near future. Adjournment All members are encouraged to attend the ONLINE AGM meeting. However, if you are unable to attend, you may appoint a proxy to attend and vote on your behalf. Proxy forms will be made available upon request via email to the Executive Director, Maria Barcelos, at mbarcelos@thegatehouse.org and must be returned at least 24 hours before the meeting via email to Maria. Please note that only members whose names appear on the members register in good standing in 2022-2023 will be eligible to attend and vote at the meeting. If you have not yet paid your membership fee of $10, you can do so online via https://thegatehouse.org/become-a-member/ We look forward to your presence at the Annual General Meeting as we discuss The Gatehouse’s progress, achievements, and plans for the future. Your participation is crucial in shaping the direction of The Gatehouse. For any inquiries or to request a proxy form, please contact: Maria Barcelos Executive Director mbarcelos@thegatehouse.org 416-255-5900 x225 Thank you for your continued support. Benefits of being an official member of The Gatehouse As a member, you will: Receive information about the programs and services we offer Attend and vote at the annual general meeting every spring Connect with other persons in the community to procure in-kind services and possible donations Participate in volunteer activities in support of the Gatehouse based on your area of interest and expertise, for example, fundraising initiatives, annual 5k run/walk, house maintenance, painting, landscaping, community awareness, conference planning, program development, and research, social media, photography, film production. Cost: $10 per year   It’s your way to be involved in meaningful activities that address the trauma of childhood sexual abuse! Questions? If you have any questions or need help with launching your Zoom app, please email Maria 

Press Release The Gatehouse Child Abuse Investigation & Support Site commonly referred to as “The Gatehouse” Celebrates 25 Years of Service For Immediate Release Toronto –The Gatehouse is celebrating its 25th Anniversary in 2023! The vision of The Gatehouse and restoration of this space started with Founder Arthur Raymond Lockhart, listening to a survivor share their story. He inspired many people with his idea to reach out to survivors of childhood sexual abuse within this community. The Gatehouse vision is to give all survivors a place to tell their stories, to give them back their voices, to heal their wounds, and to inspire them to see their own potential. Since June 20, 1998, The Gatehouse has helped thousands including children, youth, and adults who have experienced childhood sexual abuse. The Gatehouse programs save lives and foster a safe space for survivors to share in group, practice coping and grounding techniques to address stress, anxiety, nightmares, depression, and isolation that occur as a result of childhood sexual abuse. Celebration Details: We will be celebrating our 25th Anniversary with a BBQ event on Saturday, June 24th, 2023, from 1 pm to 3 pm at The Gatehouse Healing Garden located at 3101 Lake Shore Blvd W., Toronto, ON, M8V 3W8. Registration is required to attend. Free event. Donations welcome. Reserve your ticket here For more information about The Gatehouse programs and services, please visit www.thegatehouse.org To register to attend the event Media Contacts Maria Barcelos, MA Executive Director Cell# 647-270-5429 Email: mbarcelos@thegatehouse.org Lia Antonova Dama Event Management Cell# 416.878.1306 info@damaevents.org