Grounding in a Time of Crisis  By: Beatriz Cruz, The Gatehouse Placement Student, Social Service Worker Diploma Program  Have you used your grounding techniques today?  Grounding is often used in situations where stressful and alarming feelings may arise, which may prove to be extremely helpful for survivors of childhood sexual abuse in their healing journey. Grounding may not come easy at first as it may take some time to figure out which one you find more helpful in what situation. Practicing them outside of times of crisis is also helpful as they may be easier to perform in times of actual distress, and it’s a good self-care reminder too.  There are plenty of grounding techniques to choose from, including physical, mental, and soothing types of grounding, and these all may help with symptoms such as distress, traumatic flashbacks, nightmares, painful emotions such as anger, anxiety, and when feeling the urge to self-harm. In addition, grounding is an available source of comfort anywhere and at any time, especially with mental grounding exercises such as:  Reciting something like a poem, song, or passage you are already familiar with and visualize each word in your head  Using mental games such as matching each alphabet letter to a city or object  Using safety/anchoring statements such as “I am safe, I am at this location and today’s date is…”  In addition to these, there are also physical grounding exercises such as:  Running cold water over one’s hands/hold a piece of ice  Carrying a grounding object. It can be anything you find comforting such as a smooth stone, a favourite blanket, or even a keychain  Stamping feet or pressing them to the floor in order to physically ground oneself  Moreover, soothing techniques for grounding can simply include sitting with a pet, practicing self-kindness by reciting kind statements to oneself or even visualizing one’s favourite place. Grounding is a great tool to have in a time of crisis, however, it is best to use it when one initially senses a crisis coming on, instead of waiting until it gets worse to use these techniques (Raypole, 2022).   You are not alone. You are capable.   References  Raypole, C. (2022, June 13). Grounding techniques: Exercises for anxiety, PTSD, & more. Healthline. Retrieved February 19, 2023, from https://www.healthline.com/health/grounding-techniques    

Happy New Year! As we enter 2023, with gratitude and hope. We are inspired to share that The Gatehouse is reopening for in person services on January 9th, 2023.  Most services are now available in person and/or online. Intakes Intake meetings can be conducted virtually or in person.  Please complete the intake form and email to Karen MacKeigan, Program Assistant at  karen@thegatehouse.org Provide your availability in your email to Karen and whether you would like a virtual or in person intake meeting, as well as your interest in virtual or in person group. Intakes are by appointment only. No walk-ins at this time.    

Open House & New Year’s Celebration at The Gatehouse   January 20- Thank you to everyone who joined us at our open house and new years celebration. 27 people joined in celebrating the new year, meeting new program participants and volunteers. Thank you to the neighbourhood officers, Constable Julie-Anne Walker and Constable Stephen Hogg, and Police Constable Rian Hamilton for visiting The Gatehouse and getting to know more about our programs and services. We’re excited for continued services, now in person and online, to be able to reach more survivors across Canada! help us spread the word on social media, share our links and event notices where possible. We couldn’t do this work without your help. To find out more information about our Phase 1- Out of the Darkness Into the Light program, please got to https://thegatehouse.org/adult-support-program/  Please consider becoming monthly donor. Sign up today at www.thegatehouse.org/donate Your $25 helps another survivor access programs and services at The Gatehouse. If you would like to bring something to donate to The Gatehouse, we are currently accepting toilet paper, ground coffee, paper towels, dawn dish soap, dishwasher detergent pods, printer paper, pens, sketch books, journal books – please set up a time to drop off items by reaching out to Maria at mbarcelos@thegatehouse.org . To make a financial donation to The Gatehouse, please visit www.thegatehouse.org/donate  

How to Practice Gratitude when You’re Depressed  By Amy Tai, Community and Justice Services (diploma), Program Assistant  It has been said time and time again that practicing gratitude and counting one’s blessings can help boost your mood and decrease feelings of depression. But are those same benefits available to people who are struggling with mental health? The simple practice of gratitude can have a tremendous impact on one’s mental health and wellbeing. Research has shown that gratitude can act as a ‘natural antidepressant’ in that its effects can be almost the same as medications. The daily practice of gratitude produces a feeling of long-lasting happiness and contentment (Chowdhury, 2022).   Gratitude doesn’t have to be a huge production of appreciation, which can be an extremely hard task for someone who is depressed and worn down. Instead, it can be helpful to start small. A study on gratitude and depression revealed that a single thought of appreciation can lead to an immediate 10 percent increase in happiness and a 35 percent reduction in depressive symptoms (Cal Y Mayor Galindo, 2021).   So, how can we practice gratitude in a more practical and tangible way, especially when we find ourselves depressed and worn down? Here are three ways to get started:  Appreciate yourself. As you stand in front of the mirror, tell yourself five positive things. These can be things you like about yourself, something you’re proud of accomplishing, something you’re good at, or a form of encouragement such as “You can do hard things”.   Gratitude meditation. Gratitude meditation is a simple, grounded strategy for reflecting on all the people, circumstances, and things for which we are truly grateful. When we practice gratitude meditation, we choose to pay attention to both the world (family, friends, etc.) and ourselves (accomplishments, skills, and feelings). This improves perspective, sharpens our vision, and almost immediately releases us from the weight of stress and burnout (Chowdhury, 2022).   Gratitude journal. Keeping a journal where you list all the people and things in your life for which you are grateful can significantly improve your mental health. Try to make this a daily practice and set aside some time each day, either in the morning or at night. It is also useful to look back and read previous entries, especially on days when you are finding it difficult to be grateful.  Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful. -Buddha  References  Cal Y Mayor Galindo, P. (2021, April 13). What Is Gratitude? 5 Ways to Practice Being Thankful. BetterUp. https://www.betterup.com/blog/gratitude-definition-how-to-practice  Chowdhury, R. B. M. A. (2022, August 2). The Neuroscience of Gratitude and How It Affects Anxiety & Grief. PositivePsychology.Com. https://positivepsychology.com/neuroscience-of-gratitude/#:%7E:text=When%20we%20express%20gratitude%20and,feel%20happy%20from%20the%20inside.   

Gratitude –Helpful Writing Prompts to Get Started with Gratitude  Written By: Sienna Wallwork, Program Assistant, Completing Bachelor of Applied Science in Family & Community Social Services and Social Service Worker Diploma  Gratitude is an important emotion to practice. It is a positive emotion, and can be described as a thankfulness or appreciation. One effective way to practice gratitude is with a gratitude journal. This is a journal where you write down anything you are grateful for. Keeping these ideas on paper is a good idea because, when you are feeling low you can consult the gratitude journal as a reminder of all you have to feel grateful for. When writing in your gratitude journal, try writing down three good things from each day. It can be anything, no matter how big or small it may seem. Alternatively, you can try some of the following prompts in your gratitude journal:  What is one thing that makes you smile every day?  What are you looking forward to in the next week? What are you looking forward to in the next month?  What is something you take for granted now that was not part of your life this time a year ago?  Take a look around your home and write about everything you see that you are grateful for.  Write about a happy memory that you are grateful for.  Write about someplace you have been that you are grateful for.  What is an accomplishment you are proud of?  Write about something or someone that makes you feel safe.   Write about something about yourself that you are grateful for.  If you are having trouble thinking of things to write about in your gratitude journal, a helpful tip is to start small. It can be anything, from a supportive person in your life to your favourite sweater. The trick is to be consistent. By consistently writing in your gratitude journal, you will eventually have trained your brain to look for the positives.   Citations  Martin, S. (2021, November 18). The Power of Gratitude: 30 Gratitude Journal prompts. Live Well with Sharon Martin. Retrieved August 9, 2022, from https://www.livewellwithsharonmartin.com/the-power-of-gratitude-30-days-of-gratitude-journal-prompts/   Rehman, A. (2021, August 1). 13 journal prompts to practice gratitude. Grief Recovery Center. Retrieved August 10, 2022, from https://www.griefrecoveryhouston.com/13-journal-prompts-to-practice-gratitude/    

Gratitude in Practice  By Amy Tai, Community and Justice Services (diploma), Program Assistant  In the simplest terms, gratitude is acknowledging the good in one’s life. To be fully immersed in a gratitude-filled life as opposed to a surface level expression of thankfulness can truly transform one’s life. Practicing gratitude has many benefits including a more positive mood, improved health, and the ability to deal with adversity.   There are many ways to practice gratitude. It does not have to look the same for everyone. It can be as simple as saying “thank you” more often or can look more like meditation or a daily gratitude journal. While these things may seem “complex” at first, the more you do them, the easier they will get and a habit will form. Find what works for you, start incorporating it into your routine/life, and watch your overall wellbeing improve.   Here are three ways to get started:  Name three things you are thankful for daily. Make it a routine to think about your blessings each day. Research suggests that your mood during the day and the quality of your sleep may be directly impacted by this (Cal Y Mayor Galindo, 2021). Once you have begun to build the habit, it may be beneficial to finish this exercise by writing them down, this way you can come back and read them at any time.  Start a gratitude journal. We have already heard of the benefits of journaling and the benefits of gratitude. Imagine the benefits when those are combined. When you write, you access memories and emotions from a fresh angle, using different portions of your brain. It has been demonstrated that keeping a gratitude journal stimulates the parts of the brain associated with morality and positive feelings (Cal Y Mayor Galindo, 2021). You may also find it useful to be able to read previous journal entries, especially when you are finding it hard to stay positive and be grateful for the things around you.  Meditate. We can broaden our understanding of life and our connection to ourselves and others by practicing various guided meditations, such as those on love and kindness. It encourages thankfulness because it fosters acceptance, objectivity, and forgiveness. We can also use this time to focus on something specific for which we are grateful, allowing the sensation to intensify and grow (Cal Y Mayor Galindo, 2021).   Regardless of what your life looks like right now, whether you are working through a rough patch or not, you can greatly benefit from the daily practice of gratitude. So much of our time is spent focused on what we don’t currently have (job, money, healing, etc.). The practice of gratitude reverses our priorities, allowing us to take time to appreciate the people and things we do.   References  Cal Y Mayor Galindo, P. (2021, April 13). What Is Gratitude? 5 Ways to Practice Being Thankful. BetterUp. https://www.betterup.com/blog/gratitude-definition-how-to-practice   

Gratitude  Written by: Brooke Byers, Placement Student, Social Service Worker (Diploma)  One of the most important factors to overall happiness and well-being is the amount of gratitude that a person experiences. Gratitude is noticing and appreciating the positives in your life. Gratitude is an attitude but also a practice.   Gratitude is found across different cultures and found throughout different populations. Gratitude is a virtue and is vastly different from optimism and hope. Mirgain and Singles state that the root of the word “gratitude” is the Latin root gratia, which means “grace, graciousness, or gratefulness… all derivatives from this Latin root having to do with kindness, generousness, gifts, the beauty of giving and receiving, or getting something for nothing.”   Benefits of Gratitude.  Research finds that gratitude can in fact improve a sense of personal well-being in 2 different ways, a direct cause and indirectly meaning, buffering against negative states and emotions. Experiencing gratitude, thankfulness and appreciation tends to foster positive feelings, which turns into overall well-being.   Self-reported physical health, more feelings of happiness, pride and hope, a greater sense of social connection and cooperation with others, feeling less lonely and isolated, helps maintain intimate bonds, increased motivation for self-improvement and positive change, reduction in risk for depression, anxiety, and substance abuse disorders, improvement in body image, resilience in the face of trauma-induced stress, improvement of energy and sleep (Mirgain, Singles 2018), this is a list of psychological, physical and social benefits that’s gratitude has been linked to according to Mirgain.   Gratitude Exercises for Beginners.   Take a few minutes to reflect on a happy moment in your life that stands out for you—a memory that is still strong and has remained with you, even if it happened 10, 20, or 40 years ago. Re-experience it. Visualize the scene, hear the sounds that were around you, feel the sensations in your body. What was it about that experience that stays with you? Was gratitude part of it? What was happening that allowed you to feel grateful? (Mirgain, Singles, 2018)  We cannot change what life presents. We can, however, choose our attitude in any given circumstance. You can practice consciously choosing to cultivate gratitude with this daily practice: Practice stopping and having an attitude of gratitude throughout the day. You might incorporate a cue, like sitting down for a meal, hearing an alarm go off, or commuting home, to turn your mind to gratitude. Acknowledge and savor the positive experiences of your day. List a few cues you can use to remind you to stop and practice an attitude of gratitude. (Mirgain, Singles, 2018)  References  Mirgain, S. A., & Sinles, J. (2018). Creating a Gratitude Practice. Whole Health Library . Retrieved September 13, 2022, from https://www.va.gov/WHOLEHEALTHLIBRARY/docs/Creating-A-Gratitude-Practice.pdf  

Strategies for Addressing Trauma-Related Stress  By Amy Tai, Community and Criminal Justice (diploma), Program Assistant  It is typical for a person to experience a traumatic event at least once in their lifetime.  As a result, many people will experience severe stress which is a normal reaction to traumatic events. In the days and weeks that follow, it is common for people to experience a whirlwind of unanticipated emotions and physical symptoms, such as, feeling nervous, jumpy, or on high alert, difficulty sleeping, avoidance and dissociation, and irritability or anger (Jeong Young & Halfond, 2019). In the long-term, people may develop acute stress disorder, characterized by severe stress symptoms that seriously impair everyday functioning, academic performance, occupational performance, or social interaction. Others may experience post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which manifests as symptoms that impair day-to-day functioning and persist for longer than a month following the event (Jeong Young & Halfond, 2019).  In can be helpful and appropriate at times to avoid the people, places, and situations that trigger these intense thoughts, feelings, and memories. However, relying solely on avoidance can result in more issues than it aims to fix. You can’t always avoid these triggers, and trying to do so can make you anxious, closed off, and restrained by your traumatic experience (Bank Lees, 2020). Having only one coping mechanism could also be harmful because it may not work every time. Instead, it is preferable to have a variety of tools on hand for when you experience the terrifying reach of traumatic stress (Bank Lees, 2020).  The stressful effects of trauma can be treated and coped with in a number of extremely efficient ways. According to research by Jeong Young, PhD and Halfond, PhD (2019), these actions can help:   Develop and utilize a support system. Choose your family or friends as your source of support. If you’re ready, you could share your experience and your sentiments with them regarding the tragic event. To reduce some of your everyday stress, you can also enlist the assistance of loved ones for household chores or other responsibilities. Sometimes CSA survivors’ families are not a source of support for a variety of reasons. There are community groups, meet-ups and other social supports available in the community.   Accept and acknowledge your feelings. It’s common to desire to forget about a horrible experience. On the other hand, staying inside all day, isolating oneself from family and friends, and abusing drugs to block out reminders are not long-term coping mechanisms. Avoidance is common, but too much of it might make you more stressed and prevent you from getting well. Try to ease back into your regular routine gradually. As you get back into the flow, assistance from family members or a mental health professional can be quite beneficial.  Make self-care a priority. Try your best to eat nutritious meals, engage in regular exercise, and get a restful night’s sleep. Additionally, look into alternative constructive coping mechanisms including art, music, meditation, rest, and outdoor activities.  Be patient. Keep in mind that an upsetting event can cause you to respond strongly. As you heal, take each day as it comes. Your symptoms should start to progressively get better as the days go by.  References  Bank Lees, A. (2020, October 28). 7 Tools for Managing Traumatic Stress. NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness. Retrieved August 5, 2022, from https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/October-2020/7-Tools-for-Managing-Traumatic-Stress  Jeong Young, S., & Halfond, R. (2019, October 30). How to cope with traumatic stress. American Psychological Association. Retrieved August 5, 2022, from https://www.apa.org/topics/trauma/stress 

Emotion Regulation – CSA Survivors   By Amy Tai, Community and Justice Services (diploma), Program Assistant  The ability of a person to properly control and deal with an emotional experience is referred to as emotion regulation. The majority of us employ a range of emotion control techniques and are skilled at adapting them to various circumstances in order to meet the demands of our environment (Rolston & LLoyd-Richardson, n.d.). However, for people who have experienced a traumatic event, such as childhood sexual abuse, it may be much harder to control and deal with emotions in a healthy and beneficial way.   Helpful vs Unhelpful Emotion Regulation Strategies  Helpful emotion regulation strategies assist in calming down the intense feelings experienced during times of stress, allowing for a deeper understanding of what triggered that emotional response. Examples of helpful emotion regulation strategies include:  Talking with friends  Writing in a journal  Meditation  Therapy  Paying attention to negative thoughts that occur before or after strong emotions Noticing when you need a break – and taking it (Rolston & LLoyd-Richardson, n.d.)  On the other hand, unhelpful emotion regulation strategies include those that may cause long-term harm, have unintended consequences, or limit one’s ability to deal with problems that require immediate action. Examples of unhealthy emotion regulation strategies include:  Abusing alcohol or other substances  Self-injury  Avoiding or withdrawing from difficult situations  Physical or verbal aggression  Excessive social media use, to the exclusion of other responsibilities (Rolston & LLoyd-Richardson, n.d.)  Breaking the Cycle  When faced with difficulties practicing emotion regulating techniques, it is crucial to understand that these challenges do not necessarily result from the event or experience itself, but rather, the way the emotion is interpreted. When we interpret the emotion in a negative way, this is when we experience intense feelings and the belief that we are not able to bear them. We refer to this as a vicious emotional cycle (Rolston & LLoyd-Richardson, n.d.). Continued avoidance of emotions related to the event or experience further supports the initial interpretation and may result in additional negative thoughts and feelings. These will continue until something is down to break the cycle.  Learning how to comprehend and work with the relationship between ideas, feelings, and behaviours is the foundation of therapeutic techniques such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. While this may be a super beneficial method for some people it is not necessary for successful self-regulation. The learning process can be hard and lengthy, but it is not impossible to conquer your emotions. Here are some helpful tips to get you started:  Take care of yourself, including your body: We’ve all experienced how much better we can feel after getting a restful night’s sleep or eating foods that leave you nourished and energized. It may seem as though we have a completely new outlook on life, and it is much simpler to ignore minor inconveniences that otherwise could have angered or upset us.  Do things that make you feel accomplished: Each of us can gain from focusing more on the good things that happen in our lives. It has been demonstrated that the things that make us happy improve our good moods and diminish our negative emotions. Try doing one small thing such as making your bed, five minutes of meditation, or keeping a gratitude journal and notice how your mood and ability to face the day improves.   Start by changing your thoughts. It is simpler to change our thoughts than our feelings because our thoughts are what determine how we perceive a situation. When you first feel yourself getting agitated, pause and try to analyze what it is that you are thinking that is making you feel that way. For some, it can be helpful to consider how significant the problem is on a greater scale: How much will this matter a day, a week, and a month from now?   There is no one-size-fits-all method for managing challenging thoughts and emotions; the key is for each of us to find what works for us individually and to believe this truth: You are capable of producing lasting change. You are worthy. Healing is possible.   References  Rolston, A. & LLoyd-Richardson, E. (n.d.). What is emotion and how do we regulate it. Cornell Research Program on Self-Injury and Recovery. *what-is-emotion-regulationsinfo-brief.pdf 

Naming Uncomfortable Feelings and How to Manage Them   Written by: Sienna Wallwork, Completing BSC. Family & Community Social Services and Social Service Worker Diploma, Program Assistant  The first step to being able to manage and regulate your emotions is being able to name them. Once you are able to identify them, it becomes much easier to manage them. Naming our emotions is the first step to bridging the gap between thoughts and feelings, and it can remind us that we are not our feelings (Miller, 2021). Finding this difference also allows us to remember that while we do not have a choice in what we feel, we do have a choice in what we do about how we are feeling.  The first step is to address what you are feeling. For example, if you find yourself stuck in traffic, mad at the person in front of you, you may think you are simply angry at them. However, upon further analysis, you may realize that it is not their fault and you are simply frustrated because you are stuck in traffic. Once you know the root of what you are feeling, it becomes easier to manage. Allowing yourself to address misplaced anger will also make it easier to let go of the negative emotions.  In order to make naming your feelings a regular habit, it may be helpful to set up a regular “check in” with yourself, just to keep your emotions in order. Once a day, set aside the time to sit down for 5-10 minutes, and just ask what you are feeling. You can use apps on your phone to track your emotions, or you can use a journal. Ask what you are feeling and why you are feeling this way. Write about what happened in your day and how it made you feel. This is also a good way to get out the negative emotions that you may not feel entirely comfortable opening up about just yet.  Once you are able to name uncomfortable feelings, there are many things you can do to manage them. It is all about finding coping mechanisms that work for you, and make you feel good. For some people, this could be journaling. You could also talk to a support person in your life, such as a friend or a family member. Exercise is another healthy way to manage emotions and lower stress. It is important to find activities that help to calm down any negative emotions you are feeling, but not activities that drive you away from confronting them.  Citations  Feel your feelings: How to deal with uncomfortable emotions. Eugene Therapy. (2021, October 12). Retrieved August 4, 2022, from https://eugenetherapy.com/article/feel-your-feelings-how-to-deal-with-uncomfortable-emotions/   Miller, M. (2021, October 27). Getting unstuck: The power of naming emotions. Six Seconds. Retrieved August 5, 2022, from https://www.6seconds.org/2021/01/08/getting-unstuck-power-naming-emotions/