The Weight Carried by the Inner Child
Childhood is meant to be a time for exploring the world, asking questions, and trusting that the adults in your life are safe, protective, and caring. Childhood sexual abuse disrupts this completely. A child who has not yet developed the skills to cope with deep trauma, or fully understands what has happened, is forced to take on the impossible task of supporting and protecting themselves.
Their world becomes unsafe and unpredictable. Instead of being able to rely on others, they must navigate in isolation, carrying feelings of shame, guilt, and fear. Children are not meant to meet the needs of others, the adults in their life are meant to meet their needs, and build healthy and safe attachments.
When childhood so heinously disrupted the child is forced into survival mode, leaving little to no space for a child to nurture and have nurtured what comes naturally: curiosity, joy, self-esteem.
These wounds often remain in adulthood. A child is not equipped to carry pain this big, yet our inner child somehow got us here. They did what no child should have to, protected and saved us.
Acknowledging Our Inner Child
How do we nurture the parts of ourselves that still hold this pain? How do we care for the parts that never had the chance to experience the childhood we deserved?
We can begin by acknowledging we cannot change what has happened, but we can compassionately reflect on and address the wounds we carry. This can be accomplished in a variety of ways, you can choose what feels right to you. This may bring feelings to the surface that feel uncomfortable, challenging or releasing and cathartic: this is where the healing can deepen.
3 Ways to Connect With Your Inner Child
Draw Your Younger Self
- Gather paper and markers, crayons, or pencils — no artistic skill required.
- Draw yourself as a child (at a significant age or whatever comes to mind).
- Add details about your surroundings, clothing, or favourite objects.
- Notice the emotions that come up. Do you see sadness? Joy? Fear? Curiosity?
- Write supportive messages around the drawing (e.g., “You are safe now,” “It wasn’t your fault,” “I’m here for you”).
- Place your drawing somewhere you can see it as a reminder of your commitment to care for your inner child.
Inner Child Meditation
- If meditation supports your healing, try a guided inner child meditation that feels right for you.
You might explore this one: Inner Child Meditation
Write a Letter
- From your inner child to you now: What are they feeling? What did they want as a child? What do they need from you now?
From you now to your inner child: What would you like to tell them? What support can you offer them today?
Taking Care of Yourself
Whichever approach you choose, follow what feels right for you. Please take care of yourself if you decide to try any of these exercises. You might schedule time to talk with someone you trust afterwards, or have a self-care plan in place. Your safety and care are of the utmost importance.
