For many survivors of childhood sexual abuse (CSA), setting and holding boundaries can be one of the most difficult — and most healing — things we learn to do. When our boundaries are crossed at an early age, it can leave us feeling confused, ashamed, or even unsafe when we try to assert them in adulthood. But boundaries are not selfish. They are essential. So what happens when you realize you’re not listening to your own boundaries? Or when someone else keeps pushing past the ones you’ve clearly stated? Let’s explore this together. When You Ignore Your Own Boundaries Sometimes we say yes when we mean no. We override that tight feeling in our chest or the lump in our throat. We might tell ourselves: Sound familiar? When this happens, pause. Ask yourself: Self-abandonment — even in small ways — adds up over time. Healing includes learning to listen to yourself first. When we keep saying yes while our body, heart, or mind is saying no, it creates a disconnect. We may tell ourselves it’s the “nice” thing to do — but over time, this habit can lead to resentment, mistrust, and even the breakdown of relationships. Have you ever had someone tell you yes, and then not show up? When someone consistently ignores their own limits or overpromises and lets you down, it’s hard to believe them when they say yes. We might even be the one to let others down because we say yes, when we aren’t capable of following through. This might lead to feelings of guilt and shame, or the other person might resent you or stars to lose trust in you. When we do follow through on our yeses, and we say yes a lot, resentment can build “Why does everyone rely on me” “Can’t they ask someone else”. Some may unintentionally overstep, others may notice your pattern of always saying yes, and take advantage of it. The truth is: if we never share our boundaries, people don’t know where they are. Saying no teaches others that your yes has value. When Others Ignore Your Boundaries Sometimes, even when we confidently, and clearly assert our boundaries, people might not listen the first time. Boundaries don’t exist to control others. They exist to protect your energy, your time, and your well-being. We might confidently, and clearly assert our boundary, so what do you do when it gets ignored or challenged? Here are some reminders: You deserve relationships where your no is honoured just as much as your yes. When someone repeatedly crosses your boundary, it can become harder to assert it. That’s why it’s important to address boundary violations clearly and early on. If someone crosses the line once, you might say: “I want to be clear that this is a boundary for me. I know I may not have named it before, but it’s important now.” If it happens again, you can be more direct: “This is the second time this boundary has been crossed. If it happens again, I will need to step away from: this conversation, this activity, or this dynamic.” Boundaries are not about punishing others. They are about protecting your peace and creating clarity. You’re not being dramatic or mean — you’re being clear about what you will and won’t engage with. You Don’t Owe Anyone a Reason Many survivors feel pressure to explain or justify their boundaries, especially when it feels like the person asking expects access to your time, energy, or emotional labour. But the truth is: Your “no” is enough. Here are some ways to say no while still being kind and clear: You are not required to shrink, overextend, or exhaust yourself to be kind. Kindness includes being honest, and kindness toward yourself. Struggling to Set a Boundary? Ask Yourself Why. If setting a boundary feels hard, you’re not alone. Take a moment to reflect: These are common fears, especially for survivors. But it’s okay to prioritize your own safety and peace. You are allowed to grow out of roles that once felt necessary for survival. Boundaries Belong Everywhere Boundaries aren’t just for toxic relationships. They can show up in all areas of life: You’re allowed to set a boundary even if it disappoints someone. You’re allowed to change your mind. You’re allowed to protect your peace. Your voice matters. Your “NO” matters.
Supporting CSA Survivor Partner – Setting Healthy Boundaries
Loving someone who is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse (CSA) can be deeply meaningful and at times, complex. Survivors often carry invisible wounds that may impact how they relate to intimacy, trust, communication, and autonomy. If you’re in a relationship with a survivor, one of the most supportive and healing things you can do for them and for yourself is to learn how to set and honour boundaries together. This isn’t about creating distance. It’s about fostering safety, clarity, and respect essentials in any healthy relationship, and especially vital when navigating trauma. What Are Boundaries, and Why Do They Matter? Boundaries are the emotional, physical, mental, and sexual limits that define what feels safe and respectful to each person. For survivors of CSA, boundary violations in early life may make it harder to feel secure asserting limits or recognizing what’s okay and what’s not. Partners who model healthy boundaries help re-establish a survivor’s sense of agency and trust. Boundaries aren’t walls—they’re agreements. And they benefit both people in the relationship. How Partners Can Support Healthy Boundaries 1. Communicate Openly and GentlyConversations about boundaries can feel vulnerable. Approach them with compassion and patience. Ask questions like: 2. Respect Consent in All AreasSurvivors may have different comfort levels with touch, closeness, or even certain types of conversations. Always ask before engaging in physical affection. Yes, even with something as simple as a hug or holding hands. Respecting a “no” without guilt-tripping or pulling away emotionally is crucial. 3. Set Your Own Boundaries TooYour needs matter, too. It’s okay to express when you’re overwhelmed, hurt, or confused. For example: Being clear and kind about your own limits helps build mutual respect. 4. Avoid “Fixing” or PushingIt’s natural to want to help someone you love, but healing isn’t something you can rush or solve. Let go of the pressure to “fix” anything. Focus on being present and consistent, not perfect. 5. Create Rituals of SafetyBuild in moments of connection that foster safety: a daily check-in, a grounding activity you do together, or simply a ritual of asking, “Is now a good time to talk about something important?” Healing Is a Shared Journey Loving a CSA survivor means understanding that trauma may resurface unexpectedly. Boundaries allow both partners to feel seen, heard, and held—not just during the good times, but when things feel heavy, too. By respecting each other’s needs, slowing down when things feel tender, and approaching each conversation with empathy, you’re helping create a relationship rooted in safety and care. You’re not alone in navigating this. Whether you’re a survivor or a partner, seeking support through therapy, support groups, or trauma-informed resources can make all the difference. Here is a tool to help you define your boundaries
The Hidden Truth About Shame: Why You’re Holding What’s Not Yours
What is Shame, and Why Do We Feel It? Shame feels like an awful emotion, but it does serve a purpose. Shame signals that we may have violated the unspoken code of the group we belong to—and that we’re at risk of being rejected or excluded. Guilt stems from acting in a way that goes against your values and morals. Simply put, shame is the feeling, “I am bad” and guilt is the feeling, “I did something bad”. While shame can teach us about boundaries and social expectations, it becomes devastating when we feel it, listen to it, and believe it—even when we have done nothing wrong. Shame can become an overpowering voice in our minds. As Brené Brown writes in IThought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t): “We cannot change and grow when we are in shame, and we can’t use shame to change ourselves or others.” https://brenebrown.com/book/i-thought-it-was-just-me/ How Shame Manifests in CSA Survivors Survivors of childhood sexual abuse often carry deep shame and guilt—emotions that were never theirs to hold. But why do they? Many survivors internalize thoughts like, If I had acted differently, I could have stopped it, or If I hadn’t done that, it wouldn’t have happened. Either way, the blame gets turned inward. The survivor feels responsible for the harm done to them. This is the voice of shame. And shame isolates. Over time, it distorts memory and confidence: Maybe I misremembered and maybe it wasn’t that bad. Survivors may also experience guilt, not just about the abuse, but about the idea of disclosing it:I don’t want to bother anyone by sharing my experience. I don’t want to hurt my family or ruin relationships if I say something. These thoughts are all shaped by guilt and shame, but these do not belong to the survivor. They never did. The Harm of Comparing Pain To understand how shame is reinforced by the culture around us, we can look to writer and educator Clementine Morrigan, who shares: “Culturally we dismiss sexual comments to and about children as ‘inappropriate’—but certainly the adult wouldn’t really do anything. Accusing someone of being a pedophile or an incester is such a serious accusation that we play it ‘safe’ and wait to say anything until it seems the line will really be crossed.” When we create the kind of “line” Clementine discusses—a threshold that must be crossed before we take harm seriously—we also create a harmful hierarchy of trauma: the worst, the not-as-bad, the barely worth mentioning. This framing minimizes space for survivors to come forward. It plants thoughts like: Other people have it worse or what happened to me isn’t bad enough to talk about. This comparison culture silences voices. It breeds shame, self-doubt, and uncertainty, and it leaves survivors feeling that their pain doesn’t qualify for attention, support, or healing. Culture’s Role in Silencing and Minimizing This silence doesn’t emerge by accident, it’s shaped by social norms and behaviours that minimize harm. Clementine continues, “What I am saying is that once any sexual behaviour has been enacted toward a child, the line is already crossed.” We cannot continue living under the illusion that sexual abuse doesn’t happen. No one wants to believe someone they know is capable of such harm—but turning a blind eye is just as dangerous. In an effort to stay comfortable, we often ignore behaviours that signal something more troubling. We hesitate to say things like, “If my child doesn’t want a hug, she doesn’t have to give one.” Instead, we prioritize politeness—our own social ease—over the safety and autonomy of children. When we do this, we teach children that their bodies are not truly their own. We condition them to ignore their discomfort in favour of pleasing others. And that is not just dangerous—it’s a betrayal. What Children Know, and What We Ignore Clementine writes: “Children are not stupid. They understand danger. They receive messages from their bodies telling them that something is wrong and they have to find a way to make sense of and respond to these messages. Fight, flight, fawn, freeze, submit. These embodied survival responses take place in a context of pervasive denial, silence, punishment, and shame.” Culturally, we must be held accountable for creating a world where children feel unsafe, where their voices are ignored—and then allowing them to grow into adults who still feel unsafe, and unheard. Shame and guilt are not burdens survivors of childhood sexual abuse should ever have to carry. These emotions belong to the adults who failed them. The shame lies not with the survivor, but with a culture that chose comfort over courage, denial over truth. “The child must go to extremely creative lengths (usually involving some splitting of the personality) in order to survive these insane conditions.” — Clementine Morrigan We live in a culture of childism—the belief that adults always know best. We assume children are unintelligent, incapable of understanding, or exaggerating. But as Morrigan makes clear, children are not dumb. They know how to survive. When children are taught to be silent and compliant, they grow into adults who carry those same burdens. They’ve been trained to shut up, do as they’re told, and believe that speaking up will only bring punishment. When we ignore the voices of children, we continue the narrative that they don’t matter—that their experiences and pain are theirs to carry alone. Shame on us. A Message to Survivors While it may be hard to accept right now—and it may take time—know this: you did not do anything wrong. You did the best you could with what you had. You didn’t fail. You were let down by others. And still, you survived. When you are ready, let your inner light shine so brightly that it burns through the cocoon of shame, and emerge in your full strength.
The 7 Grandfather Teachings and How They Can Support Healing
The Seven Grandfather Teachings are powerful guideposts rooted in Anishinaabe tradition, offering timeless wisdom for living in balance with oneself, others, and all of creation. While not all Indigenous Nations teach or interpret these teachings in the same way, many recognize their relevance as part of a broader spiritual and cultural framework. These teachings aren’t just for reflection—they are a call to action. If we embodied them in our lives—at home, at work, and in our relationships—the way we connect to each other, to the land, and to ourselves might profoundly shift. For survivors of childhood sexual abuse (CSA), the Seven Grandfather Teachings offer a compassionate, strength-based lens for reclaiming power, voice, and belonging. Using the Nottawaseppi Band of the Potawatomi Federal Tribal Government website’s (Seven Grandfather Teachings | NHBP) guide to the Seven Grandfather teachings, let’s explore how each teaching can serve as a gentle companion on the healing journey: Love Respect “There should be no part of creation that should be excluded from the honor that we are to give.” Respect reminds us that every person has inherent value. That includes survivors. When we acknowledge someone’s truth, we show them respect. When we respect ourselves—our limits, our needs, our past—we create space for healing. Respect is the antidote to shame. It’s how we reclaim dignity and self-worth after trauma. Bravery “We face life with the courage to use our personal strengths to face difficulties, stand tall through adversity, and make positive choices.” Bravery doesn’t always look bold. Sometimes, it’s just surviving the day. Sometimes, it’s sharing your truth out loud for the first time. For survivors, bravery is in every small act of healing—asking for help, saying “no,” setting a boundary, or simply waking up and continuing Truth “We must understand, speak, and feel the truth, while also honoring its power.” Truth is often uncomfortable, but essential. Naming what happened is part of reclaiming our voice. Denial can protect us temporarily, but long-term healing asks us to face what hurts so we can begin to release it. Living in our truth, even when it’s painful, brings us closer to our authentic selves—and to the future we deserve. Honesty “We must allow truth to be our guide. We must first be honest with ourselves. This will allow us to be honest with others.” Honesty means acknowledging our feelings and experiences without minimizing them. It takes courage to look inward and say, “This happened, and it mattered.” Honesty is the bridge between truth and connection. It helps us build relationships rooted in integrity and authenticity—starting with ourselves. Humility “We should never think of ourselves as being better or worse than anyone else.” Trauma can create isolation. Survivors often carry the belief that no one else could possibly understand. Humility reminds us that we’re not alone. We’re not worse or less than anyone else. We are part of a much larger human story—each of us figuring out life as best we can. When we embrace humility, we create space to grow, to make mistakes, and to feel connected to others and to something greater than ourselves. Wisdom The Seven Grandfather Teachings are lifelong companions. They invite us to live with intention, to honor ourselves and each other, and to deepen our connection with the natural world. For survivors of CSA, these teachings offer a language for healing that is rooted in dignity, balance, and strength.
Supportive and Safe Creative Spaces
Trust is the foundation of any supportive space—whether in a personal relationship, a community organization, a professional setting, or a creative environment. Without trust, individuals may hesitate to share their ideas, take creative risks, or collaborate freely. Building trust takes time, intention, and consistent action. Trust also goes both ways; while it’s important to foster trust in others, you also deserve to feel trust in your own creative process and contributions. This means setting boundaries, recognizing when trust is reciprocated, and allowing yourself to rely on others when needed. Here are key steps to fostering a supportive and trusting creative space: 1. Practice Active Listening One of the most powerful ways to build trust is by genuinely listening. In creative spaces, this means giving full attention to ideas being shared, validating different perspectives, and encouraging open dialogue. Active listening helps individuals feel valued, promoting an atmosphere where ideas can flourish without fear of dismissal or criticism. 2. Maintain Confidentiality and Respect Ownership Confidentiality is critical in creating a space where people feel safe to share their creative work. Whether it’s a new artistic concept, a draft of a manuscript, or an idea for a collaborative project, respecting ownership and keeping discussions private fosters security and trust. 3. Show Consistency and Reliability Trust is built through consistency. In creative collaborations, this means following through on commitments, meeting deadlines, and showing up for brainstorming sessions or feedback discussions. Unreliability can cause uncertainty and make individuals hesitant to share their creative efforts. 4. Create a Judgment-Free Environment A supportive creative space should be free of unnecessary criticism or harsh judgment. Encourage openness by validating artistic risks and different styles without dismissing or minimizing them. Instead of shutting down an idea, ask questions like, “What inspired this?” or “How can we explore this concept further?” 5. Acknowledge Mistakes and Apologize When Necessary No one is perfect. If a misunderstanding arises—whether by unintentionally disregarding someone’s creative input, failing to give credit, or not following through—owning the mistake is key. A sincere apology and a commitment to do better can go a long way in rebuilding trust and maintaining a healthy creative space. 6. Encourage Open Communication A trusting creative environment thrives on open communication. Foster a space where people feel comfortable expressing their artistic visions, concerns, and needs without fear of ridicule. Model this by sharing your own thoughts with honesty and transparency, while also respecting the diverse creative perspectives of others. 7. Be Patient and Allow Trust to Grow Naturally Trust is not built overnight. It requires patience, especially in creative settings where vulnerability is often required. Give people the time they need to feel safe expressing their ideas and trying new things without fear of failure. 8. Lead with Empathy and Compassion Empathy is at the heart of trust. In creative spaces, understanding and supporting others’ artistic journeys can reinforce a sense of connection and safety. Small gestures—such as providing constructive feedback, celebrating successes, and encouraging experimentation—can help cultivate a thriving and trusting artistic environment. Building trust is an ongoing process that requires care, patience, and authenticity. Whether in a creative collective, a professional arts space, or a personal artistic practice, a supportive environment is cultivated through respect, active listening, and consistent action. By prioritizing these key steps, you can create a space where people feel seen, heard, and encouraged to take creative risks—ultimately fostering deeper artistic collaboration and innovation
Grounding Ourselves
Grounding Ourselves Written by: Brooke Byers, Social Service Worker Diploma, Previous Placement Student – The Gatehouse What is Grounding? We can ‘ground’ ourselves in the present and remind ourselves that we are safe and that we are not in danger (The survivors Trust). Grounding also known as ‘earthing’ is a therapeutic technique involving activities that ‘ground’ or reconnect you to the earth, this practice looks at earthing science and physics to explain how electrical charges from the earth can have positive effects on the body (Lockett. E, 2019). When to use Grounding Techniques? Grounding techniques can be beneficial when we are experiencing overwhelming or distressing thoughts especially if the distress makes us feel unreal or detached, grounding can also help if we are feeling anxious or out of control. When we experience flashback, these techniques can help us when trying to cope by getting our heads out of the past trauma that we are fixated on and into the present which is our safety (The Survivors Trust). People who have experienced childhood sexual assault can often be confronted by flashback or even body memories, some can go to the point that they feel as if they are re-living the past abuse over again. Grounding exercises can help bring you back to the “here and now” instead of being in the “then and there” (Lockett. E, 2019). Techniques to Try: The first example of grounding techniques to try is: remind yourself who you are right now, say your name, your age, where you are now, say what you have done today and what you are going to do next. “My name is _____, and I am 47 years old. I am in my bedroom, In my apartment, in Etobicoke, Ontario. I woke up early today, Had a shower and made breakfast. I just finished my coffee. Soon I am going to go to work for the day. Then I am going to go to ____ Where I will be meeting with my friend for dinner…” Notice 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can feel, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste. In order to bring yourself to the present answer these questions and write down your answers; “Where am I right now, what day is it, what year is it, how old am I, where do I live” (The Survivors Trust). Weather depending, walking barefoot or standing barefoot outside regardless of grass, sand or water for 20 minutes a day can significantly help to ground one. Benefits of Grounding: Grounding helps to improve sleep at night as it assists in normalizing stress hormones. When grounding, mobile electrons from the earth making contact with the skin enters your body, acting as a natural antioxidant (Bem. N, 2019). References Bem, N. N. (2021, June 9). 5 healing benefits of grounding techniques. Goodnet. Retrieved November 15, 2022, from https://www.goodnet.org/articles/5-healing-benefits-grounding-techniques Grounding techniques. The Survivors Trust. (n.d.). Retrieved November 15, 2022, from https://www.thesurvivorstrust.org/grounding-techniques Lockett, E. (2019, August 30). What is grounding and can it help improve your health? Healthline. Retrieved November 15, 2022, from https://www.healthline.com/health/grounding#takeaway
The Importance of Chosen Family
The Importance of Chosen Family Written by: Thiviya Subramaniam, B.Sc., Previous Placement Student, The Gatehouse A family can provide individuals with interpersonal connections and a reliable support network. But what happens when a survivor of childhood sexual abuse is not able to turn to their family for support? What happens when a survivor has experienced sexual violence from family members? Or their family takes the side of the abuser and is skeptical or discredits the survivor’s experience? We are not able to choose the families we are raised in, but as adults, we are able to create families that are supportive and can understand us. This is why a chosen family can aid in the healing journey and help survivors navigate and overcome their trauma. A chosen family consists of people who intentionally love, nurture and support each other (Jelinek, 2021). Although unconventional, this dynamic allows people to define the word ‘family’ on their own terms. It creates a sense of community and allows individuals to experience abundant love, especially those who have been rejected by the families they were raised in (Jelinek, 2021). A chosen family can be built from our hobbies and interests that introduce us to members of our community such as a pottery class, an amateur sports team or volunteering at a local pet shelter. This restructuring can change the very dynamic of your life. A friend walking you down the aisle on your wedding day, looking to a trusted community member as a parental figure, or even changing the emergency contacts on your medical forms. The possibilities are endless, but what matters is that it consists of people who genuinely care and support each other and are looking out for your best interest. Individuals are no longer confined to the community they were raised in but can create one that best supports them in their healing journey. For survivors of childhood sexual abuse, a chosen family can allow them to seek advice when needed or help them feel understood when they are triggered (Sudakov, 2023). A chosen family can validate a survivor’s experience while respecting boundaries. A consistent and caring chosen family can aid in a survivor’s healing journey and allow them to experience the love they may have been excluded from and the support that has been withheld from them. References Jelinek, J. (2021, June 9). What ‘Chosen Family’ Means – and How to Build Your Own. healthline. Retrieved from https://www.healthline.com/health/relationships/chosen-family Sudakov, M. (2023, January 15). The Role of ‘Chosen Family’ in Trauma Recovery. The Mighty. Retrieved from https://themighty.com/topic/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/trauma-recovery-chosen-family/
Establishing Boundaries: Experiencing connection during the holidays
Establishing Boundaries: Experiencing connection during the holidays Written By: Sienna Wallwork, Program Assistant, Completing Bsc. Family & Community Social Services and Social Service Worker Diploma It is important to establish and enforce boundaries as this is a way of giving yourself and your needs a voice, as well as protecting yourself from harmful or unhealthy behaviour. When setting boundaries, you may feel nervous that you will lose out on a sense of connection. There are ways to find a balance between the boundaries you have set and still being connected to those around you. First, it is vital that you know there is nothing wrong with having to set boundaries for the holidays (or ever, for that matter). Your healing journey is your own, and you are allowed to go about that journey however you see fit. If there are certain people you do not want contact with or certain events you cannot attend, there is nothing wrong with that and you do not need to feel bad. What is important is your own well-being. Additionally, even if you do decide to not attend an event or not contact certain people, there are ways to remain connected. First, ensure you have a support system with people who you will want to contact. This can include friends or family, anyone who you feel supported by and safe with. Find out what these people are up to during the holidays, and make plans based on that. See if you can grab coffee or see a movie with a loved one. You can even schedule check-in times during the holiday. Ask a loved one who knows you may be struggling during the holiday for one or two different times of the day that they are free for a brief check in. This can be a short phone call or text conversation, just to check in. This will alleviate feelings of isolation as you will know you have a conversation coming up with someone you enjoy talking to. Second, make sure to take time for things you enjoy. The holidays can be especially difficult for survivors and may bring back a lot of painful memories, so it is vital that you carve out some time for something you know will bring joy. This can be anything from watching your favourite movie, cooking your favourite recipe or just going for a walk. As long as it makes you feel good, that is what matters. Finally; know that you are not alone, even when it feels like it. If you are making the decision to opt out of events or gatherings and are worried about feeling isolated and alone, try to make plans for the day in advance so you know you have things to keep you busy. Schedule times to check in with your support system as well. A great way to keep yourself busy on a holiday and feel a sense of connection even when you are not spending it with anyone is to give back to the community. You could try volunteering at a local soup kitchen or other organization for the day. A lot of these organizations can get much busier around the holiday season, and your assistance would not go unappreciated. References Anthem. (2020, November 18). Staying connected to others during the Holidays. Anthem Blue Cross and Blue Shield. Retrieved August 24, 2022, from https://www.anthem.com/coronavirus/blog/well-being-and-community/staying-connected-to-others-during-the-holidays/ Mandel, S. (n.d.). Boundaries are guidelines not walls. Sarah Mandel Therapy. Retrieved August 24, 2022, from https://www.sarahmandeltherapy.com/boundaries-guidelines-not-walls/ Stone, R. (2019, December 12). How to set healthy boundaries with family during the holidays. Robin D. Stone, LMHC. Retrieved August 24, 2022, from https://www.robinstone.com/blog/2019/12/11/how-boundaries-can-cultivate-joy-during-the-holidays
Supporting Childhood Sexual Abuse Survivors
Supporting Childhood Sexual Abuse Survivors Written by Alexandria Medeiros, Criminology/Psychology (B.A.), Socio-Legal Studies (M.A.), Addictions and Mental Health (Post-graduate certificate), The Gatehouse Placement Student Supporting someone who has experienced childhood sexual abuse can be a deeply sensitive and challenging endeavour. It’s essential to approach the situation with empathy, patience, and a non-judgmental attitude. Here are some guidelines on how to provide meaningful support: Listen Actively: The most important thing you can do is to be an active and empathetic listener. Encourage the survivor to share their feelings, thoughts, and experiences without interrupting or passing judgment. Be patient and allow them to open up at their own pace. Believe and Validate: It’s crucial to believe the survivor’s account and validate their feelings. Childhood sexual abuse can be a traumatic and isolating experience, and your belief in their story can be empowering. Respect Their Choices: Understand that healing is a personal journey, and the survivor may have different ways of coping and seeking support. Respect their decisions regarding therapy, reporting the abuse, or involving law enforcement, as they know what’s best for them. Educate Yourself: Take the time to educate yourself about childhood sexual abuse, its effects, and available resources. This knowledge will help you better understand what the survivor is going through and how to offer effective support. Maintain Confidentiality: Respect the survivor’s privacy and confidentiality. They may not want others to know about their experience, so it’s crucial to keep their trust and not share their story without their explicit permission. Be Patient and Persistent: Healing from childhood sexual abuse is a long and complex process. Be patient, as progress may be slow and non-linear. Offer your support consistently and be there for them whenever they need you. Avoid Victim-Blaming: Never blame the survivor for what happened or question their actions during the abuse. It’s essential to remember that the responsibility for the abuse lies solely with the perpetrator. Self-care: Supporting someone through this process can be emotionally draining. Don’t forget to take care of yourself, seek support from friends or professionals, and set boundaries to ensure your own well-being. Encourage Empowerment: Encourage the survivor to regain a sense of control over their life. Help them set achievable goals and celebrate their progress along the way. Remember that your role is to support, not to replace professional help. Encourage the survivor to seek therapy and connect them with local support organizations like The Gatehouse specializing in childhood sexual abuse. Your consistent, compassionate presence can make a significant difference in their healing journey.
The Gatehouse Holiday Celebration – Dec. 7, 2023
December 7, 2023 – The Gatehouse Holiday Celebration was a festive evening, spreading holiday cheer, laughs, and gratitude. Thank you to our amazing staff, volunteers, students, donors, board members, program participants and supporters. May 2024 bring you all much health, happiness and joy. Please donate to support The Gatehouse at https://thegatehouse.org/donate/