Understanding Shame: How Does Shame Affect Me?

Understanding Shame: How Does Shame Affect Me?

Written by: Brooke Byers, Social Service Work Diploma, Previous Practicum Student at The Gatehouse

Understanding shame is crucial in understating its impact on individuals who have experienced childhood sexual abuse (CSA). Shame is not just a fleeting emotion; it can deeply infiltrate one’s psyche, influencing various aspects of their life.

Firstly, shame can manifest as self-blame, where survivors internalize feelings of responsibility for the abuse they endured. This self-condemnation can be relentless, leading to a persistent sense of guilt and worthlessness. Survivors may struggle with feelings of embarrassment, stemming from their inability to prevent or stop the abuse despite their efforts. This embarrassment can be paralyzing, affecting their ability to trust themselves and others.

Low self-esteem often accompanies shame, creating a vicious cycle of negative self-perception. This cycle perpetuates feelings of inferiority, making it challenging for survivors to break free from the grip of shame. Consequently, they may find themselves in situations that reinforce their negative beliefs about themselves, further perpetuating their sense of inadequacy.

The toll of shame extends beyond psychological realms, affecting physical health as well. Survivors may suppress their pain as a coping mechanism, leading to exacerbated psychological issues such as PTSD. Moreover, shame has been linked to physical ailments like chronic pelvic discomfort, irritable bowel syndrome, and fibromyalgia, highlighting the interconnectedness of mind and body.

Shame also infiltrates intimate relationships, complicating sexual and interpersonal dynamics. Survivors may associate shame with sexual desire, leading to difficulties in forming healthy sexual relationships. Moreover, shame can hinder their ability to trust and connect with others personally, as they fear judgment and rejection.

In relationships, survivors may struggle with disclosing their abuse, fearing how others will perceive them. This fear of judgment can isolate survivors, preventing them from seeking support and understanding from their loved ones. Additionally, survivors may internalize a belief that they deserve unfavorable treatment from others, further perpetuating their sense of unworthiness.

In essence, shame resulting from childhood sexual abuse is a pervasive force that infiltrates every aspect of a survivor’s life. Understanding the profound impact of shame is essential in providing support and healing for survivors, as they navigate the complex journey towards reclaiming their sense of self-worth and healing from their trauma.

As a CSA survivor, how many of the impacts of shame mentioned above do you feel that you identify with? 

References  

Home – victim support. (n.d.). Retrieved January 16, 2023, from https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/P2661CSA-survivors-shame.pdf