Empowering Survivors into Overcoming Shame and Guilt 

Written by: Beatriz Cruz, Social Service Worker (Diploma), Previous Practicum Student 

Empowerment can be a useful tool in supporting survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse and in overcoming the shame and guilt associated with these experiences. In my experience as a placement student at The Gatehouse I have come across a few participants who mention having a lack of support from others and how this contributes to their internalization of shame and guilt and owning their abuse. Dorahy and Clearwater (2012), refer to shame as how people perceive themselves and how they believe they are perceived by others, and note that shame is associated with hostility and self-deprecating beliefs and reactions of the self. Furthermore, dissociation also plays a role in the regulation or elimination of feelings of shame (Dorahy and Clearwater, 2012).  

Guilt, on the other hand, is associated with self-evaluation and arises when an individual believes that they are breaking a social or moral code or violating their own beliefs (Dohary and Clearwater, 2012). Survivors of childhood sexual abuse often believe they are to blame for their experiences, which further allows for feelings of guilt and shame to persist.  

This is where empowerment comes in to work on those feelings of shame and form newer and more positive notions of the self. Moreover, empowerment in relation to survivors of childhood sexual abuse refers to the restoration of the individual’s self-control and well-being, and it can come from the individual and/or other supports (Itsaranuwat et al., 2021). Empowerment can come from the self via mindfulness meditation, in which one is able to cognitively reframe past and current experiences by becoming aware of negative and unhelpful thoughts associated with shame and guilt, and practice replacing them with more supportive and empathetic ones (Whitaker, 2017). In addition, part of self-empowerment may include recognizing a need for additional help with these thoughts and feelings and taking an additional step by reaching out to a professional or safe person to confide in.  

Empowering a survivor of childhood sexual abuse may look like this: 

  • Showing the survivor that you believe them and what they have experienced 
  • Actively listening to what the survivor has to say with no opinionated commentary 
  • Providing a safe space by acknowledging the survivor’s feelings  
  • Acknowledging their strength and courage in reaching out  
  • Thanking the survivor for confiding in you with their experience 
  • Encouraging decision-making regarding problems that allow survivors to regain their power/reclaim their voice, but ultimately leaving the power to decide and/or choose the course of action to the survivor 

(Itsaranuwat et al., 2021) 

Lastly, it is important to recognize survivors’ feelings regarding their sense of shame and guilt, however, it may be beneficial to remind them that what they experienced was not their fault. The last time I mentioned to a participant that they were not to blame for their abuse, this individual related back to me that they had not heard that sentence coming from someone else in a very long time and that they experienced a sense of relief upon hearing it. It may not sound like much, but it can mean a lot for survivors who experience self-blame along with shame and guilt. 

 References 

Dorahy, M. J., & Clearwater, K. (2012). Shame and guilt in men exposed to childhood sexual abuse: A qualitative investigation. Journal of Child Sexual Abuse, 21(2), 155–175. https://doi.org/10.1080/10538712.2012.659803  

Itsaranuwat, W., Pathumcharoenwattana, W., & Ua-amnoey, J. (2021). Empowerment to Sexual Assault Survivors: The Role of Family and Trustworthy Person. Psychology and Education Journal, 58(4), 2079–2084. Retrieved from http://psychologyandeducation.net/pae/index.php/pae/article/view/4977/4351.  

Whitaker, J. (2020, January 30). How to empower yourself to overcome shame. Mindful Ways to Wellness. Retrieved April 4, 2023, from https://www.mindfulwaystowellness.com/post/how-to-empower-yourself-to-overcome-shame