Whether your own life is in a state of flux or you look around and see chaos, pain, and ruptures in the world, gratitude is a tool anyone can reach for to help navigate challenging times. Gratitude doesn’t dismiss or ignore difficulties and hardships. It acknowledges them while making room to remember that gentle, good, joyful things can coexist with pain.
Gratitude asks us to step back and consider the bigger picture: What is going well? What brings us pleasure or makes us smile? Reflecting on what we’re grateful for can interrupt rumination about what is wrong or painful and help us reframe our situation, even slightly. Gratitude is like a buoy, helping us stay afloat amid the stormy waves of our lives, relationships, goals, and the wider world.
For example, when we feel lonely and as though we don’t have any friends, we may feel angry, sad, or isolated. Those feelings are valid. Gratitude can shift our attention from what feels absent toward anything that offers care, comfort, or connection—even something small. It doesn’t mean we’re no longer lonely.
Gratitude isn’t a reason to shame ourselves for feeling bad, having a difficult time, or having negative thoughts. We aren’t trying to tell ourselves that something hurtful didn’t hurt, or that we aren’t allowed to feel bad. Gratitude can help interrupt rumination when we feel stuck or bogged down by difficult feelings. It doesn’t fix our experiences or erase our feelings. It can help us find a more grounded place from which to reflect on them and see more clearly.
Gratitude can help us find a more grounded place from which to reflect on difficult feelings and see more clearly. You might write down—or say aloud to yourself—what you’re grateful for first thing in the morning or before bed.
If it also feels helpful, you may ask yourself:
- What are five things I’m grateful for right now?
- What are five things that went well today?
- What was my favorite part of the day (even if it’s simply surviving the day)?
- What is an opportunity I’m grateful for?
