Written by: Karen MacKeigan, Program Assistant, RSSW, B.A., DAMHW, DECE  Disclosure  Reclaiming their voice – from secrecy to sharing  Many questions and concerns can arise following the disclosure of a child’s experience of sexual abuse.  It is common for parents to consider that the perpetrator is a stranger.  Statistics, on the other hand, have shown that abusers are often known to the child and family.  In fact, 85% of child sexual abuse survivors know their abusers (Red Cross Canada, 2021) in some capacity – family, friends, neighbours, babysitters and other people of authority.   Oftentimes when a child discloses that they have been abused, they may be experiencing a range of emotions, including but not limited to: fear, confusion, guilt, shame and embarrassment. They may be experiencing a multitude of conflicting feelings as to why they love and trust their abuser, as well as a sense of blame and guilt.  Among the potential fear for their safety, there may be a fear of whether or not they will be believed.  It is important to keep in mind that your child has ultimately disclosed their trauma and now is the time to provide them with support.  Offering Support  Creating a Safe Haven  Childhood sexual abuse often diminishes a child’s sense of safety.  This is even more prominent in events where the abuse occurs within the home.  This type of trauma emphasizes the aspect of isolation, which can impede on one’s growth; however, resilience can be fostered by creating a safe space of inclusion. Furthermore, fostering a safe space where the abuse is no longer a secret, nor was it their fault will help in eliminating any shame or guilt that your child may be experiencing, which is commonly found among survivors. Caroline Byers Ruch (n.d.) notes that as parents, we need to “Build a bridge over shame by teaching kids about sexual abuse. Give them a chance to run to us should they encounter it. Be their hero.”  A few ways to offer support are listed as such (Gatehouse, 2021):  Acknowledge their strength in coming forward and sharing their experience.  Let them know that you believe their experience.  A large fear that occurs with pre- and post-disclosure is the fear of whether they will be believed.  Don’t fret about saying the wrong thing.  It is okay to feel your feelings, but please know that your child has chosen to confide in you because they trust you.  They value your support.  Report the abuse to authorities.  It is common to want to take action, but place the responsibility in the hands of authority.  References  Ruch, C. B. (n.d.). Quote by Carolyn Byers Ruch. Goodreads, Inc. https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/1048987-build-a-bridge-over-shame-by-teaching-kids-about-sexual   The Gatehouse. (2021). Child, youth, and parents: For parents. The Gatehouse. https://thegatehouse.org/child-youth-and-parents/parents/        

Written by: Shailja Desai, Graduate Student – Addictions and Mental Health program, B.A., Practicum Student    Many survivors of childhood sexual abuse experience grief – a complex response to the loss of something important to an individual – related to the childhood sexual abuse they experienced. The grief and loss related to CSA that many survivors experience might not often be discussed due to the nature of the loss. Survivors may experience a sense of loss that cannot be publicly and socially mourned and supported, and which may be more difficult to acknowledge. These losses – which are commonly associated with CSA – include a loss of safety, attachment, and childhood innocence, as well as the loss of personal agency, of interpersonal agency, and of sexual agency (Ebrahim et al., 2021; Sofka, 1999). Such losses are often not acknowledged or mourned openly and publicly due to the stigma that is connected to childhood sexual abuse; this, in turn, may negatively impact survivors’ ability to process their grief. As such, many survivors may attempt to process and cope with their grief in private – and while there is no one way to grieve, there can unhealthy ways of attempting to cope with that grief.   There are multiple stages of grief that are commonly experienced by individuals, but that is not to say that every person will experience them in the same way. Some individuals might not experience every ‘stage’ or will do so in a different order; others may revisit past stages repeatedly as they continue to heal. Some of these stages of grief that are common to many survivors of CSA are as follows:  Shock & denial  Many people may become emotionally numb due to the shock and confusion they feel after such traumas. Survivors also may commonly deny what happened or try to downplay the impact of the abuse. Both these responses are normal coping responses that aim to protect oneself and help a person process and prevent them from feeling completely overwhelmed.  Fear, panic, shame  Survivors might also experience feelings of fear, panic, or shame when they are no longer feeling emotionally numb, having internalized the messages that emphasize guilt and shame. In this stage of grief, survivors might find it helpful to focus on self-compassion and the reminder that the trauma was not their fault, that they are not responsible for the abuse.  Rage &/or helplessness  Another common stage of grief has to do with feelings of rage and anger, and of helplessness and sadness. The anger may even be masking the other emotions and pain an individual may be feeling, as well as potentially being directed at others or at oneself.   Guilt & ambivalence   This is a stage during which individuals may feel that the loss they have experienced is unbearable, as well as experiencing feelings of guilt and shame.   Focused anger & letting go  This stage of grief is one in which survivors might combine and face the rage and sadness they feel to reach a state of focused anger.  Exploration & new identity  Survivors might find themselves in a vulnerable yet fluid state that may provide an opportunity to explore one’s identity beyond simply surviving CSA and to get to know oneself better.   Acceptance     Reaching this stage does not necessarily mean a person has moved past their grief and is no longer grieving. It may instead simply mean that they have come to accept and understand their grief and loss and what that means within their life.  There are different things that may be helpful for individuals struggling with grief related to childhood sexual abuse, including:  Seeking support for grief & loss by turning to trusted friends or family members  Speaking with a qualified therapist, social worker or other mental health professional   Joining a support group   Expressing feelings in a way that is tangible    Practicing self-care – including by taking care of physical health, preparing for triggers, engaging in hobbies and interests, etc.  And lastly, it’s important to note that there is no single way to grieve and that everyone experiences grief and loss differently. Not everyone will experience each stage of grief, while others may return to previous stages more than once. Overall, grief is a normal response to the loss and pain that survivors experience in childhood, and it is okay to feel and to acknowledge this pain, anger, and sadness.   References   Ebrahim, B. K., Fouche, A., & Walker-Williams, H. (2021). Losses associated with childhood sexual abuse in women survivors: A scoping review. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse, 1-13. DOI: 10.1177/15248380211013137  Mothers of Sexually Abused Children. (2021). Grief reactions in victims.  https://www.mosac.net/GriefReactionsInVictims.aspx    Sofka, C. J. (1999). For the butterflies I never chased, I grieve: Incorporating grief  and loss issues in treatment with survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Journal of Personal & Interpersonal Loss, 4(2), 125-148, DOI:10.1080/10811449908409722   Williams, C. (2018, April 18). 4 stages of emotions and treatment after sexual trauma. GoodTherapy. https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/4-stages-of-emotions-and-treatment-after-sexual-trauma-0418185       

Written by: Allison Van Kessel, Graduate Student, B.A. Practicum Student  What is addiction? Addiction is a disease that can affect not just your physical body but your mental state and emotions as well. It may not always be regarding a substance, but could be related to an activity or attitude and the way someone is acting that is addictive. It is driven by shame and fear, especially in the case of survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Addictive behaviour is a way to alter our state of mind so that we do not have to deal with anything we find uncomfortable or scary (The Gatehouse, 2021). Addiction can numb you so that you can block out a trauma or event in your life that may be taking over your body (The Gatehouse, 2021). How does addiction affect survivors of childhood abuse?  The NIH reports that more than 1/3 of individuals who reported abuse or neglect in their childhood will develop a substance use disorder before they are an adult (Liebschultz et al., 2016) and many studies link substance use problems to childhood abuse (Lohmann, 2018). This may be due to the fact that substance use is used as a coping mechanism to cope with the traumatic experiences and memories that you must live with (Lohmann, 2018) and this can turn into addiction very quickly with dependence. Using these substances and developing an addiction can be to cope or block out traumatic memories, deal with feelings of loneliness or isolation, improve self-esteem or self-worth, or cope with other mental health struggles a survivor may ay have (Lohmann, 2018). Also, studies show that women who are assaulted whether that be in childhood or adulthood have a higher chance of abusing substances (Liebschultz et al., 2016). How do I cope with addiction after experiencing abuse? Everyone copes differently with addiction, especially after a unique experience as a survivor in the world today, but one piece of advice is to take everything one step at a time, one day at a time. You are not going to recover or become completely sober if that is your goal in one day or one hour, it is a lifelong process that takes time and effort, but you can do it. You can find healthier coping mechanisms for when you are triggered or upset, such as some grounding techniques, and ensure that you surround yourself with supportive and trusted individuals. By surrounding yourself with people that will support you and care for you through your recovery journey or working through harm reduction tactics you will increase positivity and security in your life. Also, peer support groups such as the ones at The Gatehouse can connect you with supports and other individuals who may be struggling with addictions. References   Liebschutz, J., Savetsky, J., Saitz, R., Horton, N., Lloyd-Travaglini, C. & Samet, J. (2016). The relationship between sexual and physical abuse and substance abuse consequences. Retrieved from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4861063/ Lohmann, R. (2018). Childhood Sexual Trauma and Addiction – Understanding child sexual abuse and drug use. Retreived from: https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/teen-angst/201801/childhood-sexual-trauma-and-addiction Silvermist. (2018). The Link Between Childhood Trauma and Addiction in Adulthood. Retreived from: https://silvermistrecovery.com/blog/2018/09/2019-guide-the-link-between-childhood-trauma-and/    

Signs and Symptoms of Childhood Sexual Abuse  Karen MacKeigan, B.A., DAMHW, DECE  Childhood sexual abuse (CSA) is a common form of trauma that impacts both men and women.  It is estimated that one in three girls and one in six boys experience CSA before the age of eighteen.  Moreover, 95% of abusers are known to survivors (Little Warriors, 2021).  That is an incredibly high percentage of known abusers, which is why it is essential that we, as adults, are aware of the signs and symptoms of CSA in order to promote its cessation.    The four types of child sexual abuse are exposure abuse; non-genital touching; genital contact; and penetrative abuse (Little Warriors, 2021).  Child sexual abuse can impact each young survivor differently, including physical, emotional, behavioural, and psychological signs.  It isn’t always easy to identify sexual abuse because perpetrators often take steps to hide their actions (RAINN, 2021). It is important to note that although some of the warning signs may be nonspecific and do not all equate to sexual abuse, they are worth being mindful of.    RAINN (2021) presents physical, behavioural, and emotional warning signs as such:   Physical signs:  Sexually transmitted infections (STIs)  Signs of trauma to the genital area  Behavioural signs:  Excessive talk about or knowledge of sexual topics  Keeping secrets outside of the usual  Not wanting to be left alone with certain people   Regressive behaviours (i.e., bed wetting, thumb sucking)   Sexual behaviour that is inappropriate for the child’s age  Trying to avoid removing clothing to change or bathe  Emotional signs:  Change in eating habits; loss of appetite  Change in mood or personality; i.e., aggressive behaviour  Decrease in confidence or self-image  Excessive worry or fearfulness  Increase in unexplained health problems; i.e., stomach aches and headaches  Insomnia and/or nightmares  Loss or decrease in interest in school, activities, and friends  Self-harming behaviours  When taking into consideration how vast the percentage is for perpetrators known to survivors, being mindful of the behaviours exhibited towards children can help to end the occurrence of childhood sexual abuse before it begins, if not sooner than later.  Sandra J. Dixon (2008) weighs in by adding that “nearly all molesters engage children in tickling, roughhousing, picking the child up, massaging, cuddling, holding, patting, rocking, kissing and touching. The predator touches the child in front of the parents, at first appropriately, and soon inappropriately. That’s how bold they are. If the parents don’t stop it, the child thinks that they approve.”  It is imperative that we, as adults, speak out about childhood sexual abuse because most children won’t.  Speaking out and bringing awareness to this crime helps to shine a light on these young survivors and ultimately helps them to reclaims their voices.  Here at The Gatehouse, we consistently strive to create a safe and inclusive space for survivors to heal and reclaim their voices by providing support, community, and resources to those impacted by childhood sexual abuse.  References  Dixon, S. J. (2008). Invisible girl. BOKCL.  Little Warriors. (2021). Information and resources: Statistics and research. Little Warriors. https://littlewarriors.ca/about/information-resources/   Little Warriors. (2021). Information and resources: What is child sexual abuse? Little Warriors. https://littlewarriors.ca/about/information-resources/   RAINN. (2021). Warning signs for young children. RAINN. https://www.rainn.org/articles/warning-signs-young-children      

Trauma-Informed Advocacy for Survivors 101 By: By: Katie Hucklebridge, DSSW, BSW[c], ASIST The key to being a true advocate for survivors of childhood sexual abuse (CSA) is to be trauma-informed. But how does someone become trauma-informed? First, you must recognize the prevalence of adverse childhood experiences (ace’s)/ trauma among people. Second, recognize the behaviours and symptoms which result from traumatic experiences. Lastly, to be a trauma-informed advocate, you must treat individuals who have experienced trauma with respect and kindness. Each of these steps is key to helping survivors recover from their trauma and work towards self-advocacy. Those of us who are privileged enough to not be CSA survivors ourselves must remember that having the power to advocate with survivors, also means having the power to inflict further abuse. By recognizing this necessary balance, we allow ourselves to become true allies. When asked about advocating for survivors, The Gatehouse’s very own Charmaine Loverin had this to say: “Something I wish people would know or do before advocating for survivors is to be curious for, inquire in and understand the commitment it takes to be a proactive footprint on the path to change. You must be willing to show up and sustainably live inside the winning vision to achieve the advocacy goal.” As advocates, we are the foot soldiers for the change we demand, our survivors are the leaders. For the survivors themselves leading the fight Charmain suggests the following: “Never lose sight of what you, as a survivor needed. Start from there, then when helping others, making a difference feels natural. It creates a relatable and authentic compassion when sitting with others who are vulnerable. Never forgetting we’ve been there too.” So, what are some practical ways one can become a trauma-informed advocate for survivors of childhood sexual abuse? First and foremost, if you know a survivor personally, or are a survivor yourself ask the community what it needs. Whether that means donating to the efforts of The Gatehouse or volunteering your time as a volunteer or trained facilitator. Educating the public about the prevalence and the impacts of childhood sexual abuse is also a fantastic form of trauma-informed advocacy. Second, do your research. Groups such as 1 in 6, RAINN, or Darkness to Light offer great insight into the lives of survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Alternatively, The Gatehouse provides a list of books, videos, and podcasts available for further learning on our website. If you’re a partner of one of our survivors, please feel free to check out the partner’s support group! Third, get out there! Openly discuss (without disclosing any information without permission, or as much as you feel comfortable (survivors only!)) childhood sexual abuse in the appropriate settings, such as human services workplaces (social services, healthcare, etc.) Upcoming Advocacy Event September 21, 2021 https://charmaineloverin.com/events-news/ EVENT LOVERIN’S LAW – QUEENS PARK LOBBY DATE: Tuesday September 21st, 2021 TIME: 12Pm- 4pm WHERE: Queens Park, Toronto    FOR EVENT UPDATES VISIT Facebook @centreformentalhealthtransformation Page and go to “Events“ – LOVERIN’S LAW LOBBY COVID 100 ppl Max Recommendation; Wear mask Social Distance What we need:  4 Marshall’s to help with crowd You will be attending to show support for Loverin’s Law which is a request to mandate an Awareness & Prevention Week for Abuse Prevention in all Ontario Schools during the proclaimed month for Child Abuse Prevention Current school policies describe under the safe schools and mental health policies; how educators are trained to identify and report abuse. The policies allow the OCAS signature “Dress Purple Awareness Day”  this event shows youth and students there is people are there to help.  The policy also is mandates education support for students on “inappropriate touching, neglect, healthy relationships, and bullying prevention. Neglect is not taught. All the above policy mandates are important to sustain and…….. Students are NOT taught the actual life skills and language use of the word “Abuse” At reading ages 5-7 kids CAN be appropriately be taught under the same context and content as “Stop” and “Danger “ the word “ Abuse”, same for more education on language use “ Healthy Boundaries”, “Trust” “Grooming” Abuse is an empty word till it becomes learned context or an experience 8-12 years old and grades 3-6 CAN be taught the very important and different kinds of context and real language skills for abuse prevention like: verbal, emotional, physical, domestic violence, neglect and sexual And 13+ grades 7+ CAN be educated on the cultural histories and advocacies for abuse prevention This CANNOT be taught in ONE DAY, ALL SCHOOLS must MANDATE “Loverins Law” by implementing a full learning a week for abuse prevention education It’s time! Bring your advocacy boards demonstrating YOUR words why Loverins Law is important for you! Advocate from your position as survivor, or parent, or educator or worker! Use above language if you want from the above or email Charmaine at charmaineloverin@gmail.com Expect Speakers from Education system, police forces, child protection agencies, parents, students and survivors!

Life as a Child of a Survivor Written by: Kate Hucklebridge Growing up with a parent who struggles with mental health conditions and trauma resulting from childhood abuse is a lifelong balancing act. Until the age of 18, I had no understanding of the troubles burdening my father. Being the self-absorbed child/teenager I was, I convinced myself that we could not have a functioning and happy relationship. I cannot claim that I was a well-behaved child, if I did, when my parents read this, they will absolutely call me out. However, my father also acknowledges that his behaviour prior to starting his healing journey did not help my beliefs. I recall asking why he was so hard on myself and my sibling when we were growing up. Rather than deny it, he told me that being perfect was the only way he knew how to be safe. With this admission, a lot about my childhood suddenly made sense. Through my own learning, I understand that a key characteristic found in survivors of childhood sexual abuse, is a struggle with emotional expression. During my childhood, my father was an angry man, and it took minimal effort to trigger this emotional reaction. Because of this, I developed my own forms of emotional dysregulation and distrust of adults. I still struggle with this, as I find asking anyone for help to be a nearly impossible task unless they are my husband or my father. I believe there is a reason for this. Despite my father’s struggle with emotional regulation, he has always been reliable and predictable. If I succeeded in school or a social activity, I was praised and celebrated. If I was in trouble with school or my mother, I was yelled at and punished, usually by grounding or extra chores. Although my husband does not have that punitive power over me, he has a lot of the same characteristics and traits that my father shows only to those he trusts. Genetically speaking, my father’s diagnosis of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Depression, have made me particularly vulnerable to both. Studies have found that individuals diagnosed with PTSD in particular have lower cortisol levels, and this can be passed onto the individual’s biological offspring. Cortisol is the body’s primary stress hormone. When a stressful situation or event passes, our cortisol levels should calm down. However, when this hormone isn’t turned off, we can develop a multitude of health problems, including, but not limited to, depression and anxiety, headaches, and memory and concentration problems. So, when a parent has lower cortisol levels and is diagnosed with PTSD or Depression, their child will be more likely to develop the condition as well, because we inherit the genetics and hormones from our parents. Knowing this will absolutely affect my decision to have biological children of my own. Though my father had no understanding of this risk or control over the transmission, I can make an educated decision about what is best for myself and the world we live in.   Ultimately, I would not trade my father for anyone or anything (16-year-old me would be in total disbelief). The Gatehouse has provided an opportunity for both of us to heal and move forward into a healthy relationship. Without the staff and volunteers, there is no telling where my relationship with either of my parents would be. My work with this team of dedicated individuals has given me a unique glimpse into what my fathers life was like prior to starting his healing journey, and I will be forever grateful.   

Selfcare   Written by: Marta Wilimowski, Addictions, and Mental Health Graduate Certificate Program (C), The Gatehouse Practicum Student Selfcare is a term that comes up quite often in the field of mental health. It is a process of taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. Selfcare is essential for anyone, particularly for survivors of childhood sexual abuse. This is because it helps with coping the thoughts and feelings following the event, regardless of how long after. Selfcare can help to address concerns regarding flashbacks, panic attacks, anxiety or sleeping problems (Rape Crisis England & Wales, 2021).  The beauty of selfcare is that there is no right or wrong way to do it. It is subjective, meaning it will look different for each individual. In a general sense, selfcare is anything that will make you feel better, safer, and happier. No activity is too small for selfcare. It can be as simple as going for a walk or taking a drink of water. If you prefer to challenge yourself, you can participate in activities that require more time and effort. This can include decluttering a closet, going on a 5k run or learning how to cook a new dish. Regardless of your selfcare is, it is important to remember to treat yourself with love, kindness, and compassion (Rape Crisis England & Wales, 2021).  It can be challenging to find time for selfcare, especially if you are overwhelmed with a busy schedule. To add to this, changing up your routine takes time. For survivors, there may be a couple of different reasons why selfcare may be challenging. For one, the survivor may be experiencing feelings of shame or even blaming themselves for what happened (Rape Crisis England & Wales, 2021). These feelings can lead the individual to believe that they are not deserving of selfcare. If and when you feel these emotions, it is important to remember that you are not to blame. You are not at fault for what happened to you. Overcoming thoughts of self-blame is challenging, but it is not impossible. Be kind to yourself, challenge thoughts of self-blame by thinking about arguments again them and tell yourself, “It was not my fault” (Rape Crisis England & Wales, 2021).  Selfcare is a task that may be very difficult to make a part of your day. Some tips to remember is that you can start small and work your way up to bigger things. The important thing to remember is to work at a pace that you are comfortable with. Another tip to keep in mind is that self-care does not have to be a complicated thing. As was mentioned above, it can be as simple as going for a walk. Do not let yourself get into a mindset that selfcare has to be big. Selfcare is whatever makes you feel happy and relaxed.   If you are anything like me, you may have a hard time coming up with some selfcare activities. Below, you will find a couple of different activities for your physical, mental, and emotional well-being that you can use to inspire your personalized selfcare plan. Physical selfcare can include going on a hike, getting a massage, developing a regular sleep routine, or working out. Some selfcare activities for taking take of your mental self can include journaling, hanging out with your friends and family, saying affirmations, or creating long- and short-term goals for yourself. Lastly, some emotional selfcare activities include sharing love for yourself and others, having a dance party, celebrating your accomplishments, or giving someone a hug. I want to stress that these are not the only forms of selfcare, and if these ideas do not work for you, that is okay. Selfcare means something entirely different for each individual. Focus on yourself and whatever it is that makes you feel happy.  References  Challenging thoughts of self-blame: Rape Crisis England & Wales. Challenging thoughts of self-blame | Rape Crisis England & Wales. (2021). https://rapecrisis.org.uk/get-help/looking-for-tools-to-help-you-cope/blame-guilt/challenging-thoughts-of-self-blame/.   Self-care after rape or sexual violence. after rape or sexual violence | Rape Crisis England & Wales. (2021). https://rapecrisis.org.uk/get-help/looking-for-tools-to-help-you-cope/self-care/what-is-self-care/.  

Recognizing & Establishing Boundaries Written by: Christina Di Nola, B.A., Addictions, and Mental Health Graduate Certificate Program (C), The Gatehouse Practicum Student Boundaries help us remember where we end, and another person begins. Boundaries are made up of physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual dimensions that are influenced by internal and external forces (The Gatehouse, 2020). They help protect us. What is okay? What is not okay? What do you want? Your body, your feelings, your emotions, and your boundaries belong to you and make you, you.   Childhood sexual abuse can leave scars that can last a lifetime. It can affect your ability to trust, your self-esteem, and the way you understand and implement your own boundaries. It affects how we interact with the world and the people around us. If you are a survivor or have experienced any trauma, you may be less likely to defend yourself and your boundaries (Concepcion, 2017). Survivors often have a hard time saying “no” and try to please and appease others, even if it makes them uncomfortable or it’s outside of their personal boundaries.  There are positive and negative boundaries (The Gatehouse, 2020). For example, a negative boundary is going against personal values or rights to please others. A positive boundary would be ensuring that your values are non-negotiable in your relationship(s). Another negative boundary is being overwhelmed by or preoccupied with a person. A positive boundary is acknowledging your ability to compartmentalize other areas of your life and functioning within them.  At The Gatehouse, we discuss three types of boundaries in the Phase 1 Peer Support program. With positive boundaries in place, there is an easily identifiable line between partners. They are connected and have an impact on each other’s life, yet independent. Boundaries are flexible in that they grow and change. Both intimacy and safety are promoted within a healthy relationship. Compared to positive boundaries, it is difficult to distinguish between partners in a relationship with collapsed boundaries. Also known as enmeshment, partners seek to lose themselves in the other or expect their partner to become lost in them. Enmeshment can lead to infringement of boundaries, violation, and abuse. Rigid boundaries tend to be like walls that prevent true intimacy within a relationship. There is little emotional connection – an emotionally detached relationship.    Setting boundaries gives us freedom and choices. We are taking responsibility when we set positive boundaries. It is about discipline, not punishment for us or others (The Gatehouse, 2020). Here are some tips for setting healthy boundaries from The Gatehouse Phase 1 Peer Support manual:  Identify and respect our needs, feelings, opinions, and rights. We need to identify these to define ourselves in relation to others.  Overcome self-esteem and passivity and assertively take care of ourselves in relationships. Learning to establish clear and positive boundaries must be an important goal on your healing journey and in your personal growth.  Develop a support system of people who respect you and your right to set boundaries – eliminate toxic people from your life.  References  Concepcion, M. (2017). Interpersonal boundaries: How trauma keeps us silent. Retrieved from   https://www.lifeworkspsychotherapy.com/interpersonal-boundaries-trauma-keeps-us-silent/   The Gatehouse. (2020). Phase 1 peer support group program participant manual.  

Mental Health & Sexual Abuse Written by: Allison Van Kessel, Graduate Student, B.A. Practicum Student Childhood sexual abuse (CSA) and any other sexual abuse can result in a number of mental health issues spanning across childhood, teenage years, and adulthood as well. Many survivors may struggle with not feeling like themselves, and may feel as if their body is not what they remember previous to the abuse (Good Therapy, 2019). Survivors have been known to develop mental illnesses due to the trauma they experienced such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, personality disorders, and/or dissociative disorders, as well as possible eating disorders (Good Therapy, 2019). This is not to say that every survivor of childhood sexual abuse is going to develop these issues, because that is not the case for everyone, as every individual survivor is unique and tells a different story. The reason it is important to educate survivors on this information is due to the fact that although not all survivors experience a mental illness or struggle, they are at a higher risk of developing such problems (Canadian Mental Health Association, 2013). Some common experiences for survivors may be shame, guilt, loss of autonomy, anxiety, fear, intense memories, loss of memory, personality disruptions and attachment issues among others (Good Therapy, 2019). You are never alone in feeling these things, and there are many other survivors at The Gatehouse who can speak to you about these feelings, and facilitators who are survivors themselves who can relate. You are not broken or weak just because you have developed mental health concerns after the abuse, and you are just coping in any way you know how to and that is okay. Coping with sexual abuse can result in some addictions concerns as well, and it is important to understand as a survivor that this may be your body’s way of trying to find ways to cope, such as becoming dependent on drugs or alcohol due to their numbing effects (Good Therapy, 2019). Some other ways that survivors of childhood sexual abuse can be affected is regarding their well-being, such as in the areas of trust, self-esteem, coping with stress, impulsivity, anger, dissociation and self-harm. These are all common reactions to trauma, and learning how to cope with these problems and live your life in a safe way is extremely important in the steps to healing and growing (Canadian Mental Health Association, 2013). When it comes to self-esteem, it is important to remember that the abuse was not your fault, and that you can feel good about yourself after an abuse (Canadian Mental Health Association, 2013). With anger, some grounding techniques such as clenching your fists, curling your toes or even just practicing deep breathing and mindfulness can help to calm your body before acting impulsively, and these grounding techniques can be applied to other mental illness concerns as well such as anxiety you may feel regarding the abuse. Lastly, there are also concerns that may arise regarding sexual relationships or intimate relationships, as trust issues are common after CSA (Hall & Hall, 2011). It can be difficult to believe that you are safe in another relationship if you trusted your perpetrator or if they were someone you loved, but again it is important to remember that you are not alone in these feelings and there is healing to be done when you are ready. Survivors of childhood sexual abuse are at a higher risk of developing mental health concerns or other problems after the abuse, but that does not mean that as a survivor you will always develop one of these concerns. There are many grounding techniques and practices you can work through both at The Gatehouse or alone that will help to keep you safe and well while you work through your healing journey. You are not alone. You are worthy. You can heal. References   Canadian Mental Health Association, BC Division. (2013). Childhood Sexual Abuse: A Mental Health Issue. https://www.heretohelp.bc.ca/infosheet/childhood-sexual-abuse-a-mental-health-issue#how Good Therapy. (2019). Sexual Assault/Abuse. Retreived from: https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/sexual-abuse Hall, M. and Hall, J. (2011). The Long-Term Effects of Childhood Sexual Abuse: Counseling Implications. Retreived from: https://www.counseling.org/docs/disaster-and-trauma_sexual-abuse/long-term-effects-of-childhood-sexual-abuse.pdf?sfvrsn=2