Refresh Your Goals: A New Year, a New You
As the new year begins, many of us feel the urge to hit the refresh button by setting new goals. Yet, research shows that only 9% of people achieve their New Year’s resolutions. For survivors of childhood sexual abuse (CSA), this journey can feel even more daunting due to unique challenges they face. But with proactive tools and a mindset shift, productive changes are within reach.
Challenges Faced by CSA Survivors
CSA survivors often encounter specific challenges when setting and achieving goals, including:
- Shame and Self-Doubt: Survivors may struggle with feelings of unworthiness or fear of failure, making it difficult to pursue or sustain goals.
- Trust Issues: Building trust in oneself and others can feel like an uphill battle, impacting relationships, work, and self-improvement efforts.
- Emotional Triggers: Past trauma can lead to unexpected emotional responses or avoidance behaviours, disrupting progress.
- Difficulty in Long-Term Planning: Trauma can affect focus and decision-making, making it harder to set or commit to long-term goals.
- Low Energy or Burnout: Dealing with the effects of trauma can leave survivors feeling drained, which can hinder motivation.
If these resonate, know you’re not alone. At The Gatehouse, we provide programs and resources to help survivors overcome these challenges and rediscover their inner strength.
Make SMART Goals Work for You
SMART goals—Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound—can help navigate these obstacles:
- Specific: Be clear about what you want to achieve. For example, “I will join a weekly support group” instead of “I want to feel better.”
- Measurable: Track your progress. Even small wins, like attending one meeting or completing a journal entry, are worth celebrating.
- Achievable: Start small. Setting realistic steps helps build confidence and prevents overwhelm.
- Relevant: Focus on what matters most to you, like improving emotional well-being or strengthening relationships.
- Time-bound: Set a manageable timeline, but allow yourself flexibility. Healing is a personal journey that takes time.
Discover Your “Why”
Understanding the deeper purpose behind your goals can help you stay committed. Ask yourself:
- What does achieving this goal mean for my healing journey?
- How will it impact my self-worth or emotional well-being?
- What’s one thing I want to feel differently about myself?
For example, a CSA survivor might set a goal to attend art therapy. Their “why” could be:
- Why? To express emotions I’ve suppressed for years.
- Why? To better understand my feelings.
- Why? To build a sense of peace and reclaim my identity.
Action Plan for Survivors
Turning your goals into actionable steps makes them more achievable. For instance, if your goal is to build healthier boundaries, your plan might include:
- Reading resources or attending workshops on boundary-setting.
- Practicing saying “no” to requests that feel overwhelming.
- Identifying safe spaces and people to practice new boundaries.
By setting SMART goals, linking them to your “why,” and addressing challenges with compassion and support, you can create meaningful progress on your healing journey. At The Gatehouse, we are here to walk alongside you.
Let’s make this the year of resilience, empowerment, and hope. Celebrate each step, no matter how small—it’s all part of your story.
The Gatehouse is here to support survivors with programs, peer groups, and resources. Learn more about how we can help by visiting our website or contacting us at 416-255-5900 x 222.
